Broken ↠ S.M.

t w e n t y - f o u r

|TRIGGER WARNING|

Karen, the worried mother, walked in, to see her son, Shawn, sitting impatiently. Shawn was tapping his foot at an immensely rate.

"Shawn Peter Raul! You have some explaining to do" she said sadly.

"Why did you try to kill yourself, twice? Don't say it's the fame. We both know it isn't. You changed since your sophomore year. Why? What happened?" Karen begged, Shawn, to tell her as she had tears spill.

"Y-you're gonna wanna sit down for this. Mom please I'm begging you, don't view me as a monster. Please. It's hard enough to stay alive right now. I've been wanting to die every single fucking day since this night. Mom please don't hate me" Shawn, the broken boy pled.

"Oh, hunny, I could never hate you. You'll never be a monster to me" she said as more tears fled her eyes.

"I went to a party one night in sophomore year. I asked, Elle, to come with me. She did. When we got there, I did my own thing. I started to drink, to be 'cool', and l-left, Elle's side. Biggest mistake in my life mom. I wasn't drunk though. I went to look for, Elle. I went upstairs, and heard screams coming behind one of the doors. Pleads for h-help. I knew that voice from a mile away, Elle. I opened the door a-and saw, Elle, being raped. And it's all my fault because I wasn't by her side that night. Ever since then I became distant from her, eventually no contact because I couldn't bare to live, being her friend, knowing what I did. I ruined her life mom. She hasn't let a single guy into her life since then." Shawn, cried as he wiped his eyes. He looked down, refusing to look into his mother's eyes.

"Then, I went on tour. After shows I'd go and sneak out. Get drunk, sometimes smoke pot, and get high. I'd bring random girls back, have a meaningless one-night stand to try and forget. I'd end up crying myself silently to sleep. Later on, one time after a show my deep thoughts got too much. I went to the bathroom. I just laid on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing. Mom, I was so overwhelmed and insecure. I just wanted something to ease my mind slowly. So I cut. One cut after another. It got much one night. So, I got a rope, tied it into a noose, called, Elle, one last time. I stood on the chair with my head in the noose, told her I'm sorry, and kicked the chair out from under me. But then, Andrew, had to walk in" Shawn cried.

Karen, was in tears. Major tears. They streamed non-stop down her face. She wasn't mad or disappointed in him from that horrible night in sophomore year.

"Hunny, come here" Karen, croaked our as she held her broken son.

"It wasn't your fault. It never was. Shh" she shushed him as he cried.

"I've ruined her love life" he cried as, Karen, continued to shush him.