Hey baby
When he says it, I feel like a billion dollars.
When I say it, I hope that I have caught him at a good time. I pray that I'm not being annoying.
I miss you
When he says it, I am unsure if he means it.
When I say it, I mean it more than anything else because I have not seen him in what feels like forever. I wonder why I am always the one to say it first. It brings thoughts to my head that would make me burst into tears if they were true.
I ask him about his day, "How was work?" "How is your dog?" But what I would really like to ask him is "When will I see you next?" "How often do you think about me?" Small talk is not enough to satisfy my worry that you will realize that there is someone out there that is way better for him than I am. The day he does, I know that will be the day he leaves. This confession is not simple paranoia, it comes from dealing with all of it before. He may think that I am overreacting, but the truth is that I am scared. I am terrified that someone else will make him happier than I can. How happy is he?
He talks about the weather. I don't want to talk about the snow, I want to talk about how his eyes ignite a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. I want to tell him that his smile steals my breath every time I see it.
I love you
When he says it, I wonder if he means it.
When I say it, I really do. But I am always the one to say it first.
