When I was little
And carefree
I was never quiet, or awkward, or shy.
I was outgoing
I was loud
I was crazy
But sadly it did not last
I met a boy and I liked him
He was quiet, awkward, and shy.
But he was interesting
He would sit by himself at recess
And draw in his notebooks.
And at lunch, he would sit alone also.
Eating his regular pb&j with
his juice box and potato chips.
One day, I decided to sit by him.
When I sat down, he looked at me.
He sat there, and observed me.
Like I was from another world.
As I started feeling uncomfortable
He smiled at me.
His eyes brightened.
And he smiled at me.
I sat with him everyday after that.
I would tell him jokes, make funny faces.
Anything to get him to smile or laugh.
I felt like I was finally opening him up.
Bringing him out from his quiet shell.
But one day, kids started
making fun of us.
Of me, just for sitting with him.
At first it didn't bother me, but after awhile, it got worse.
I got worse.
I was no longer loud.
I was no longer outgoing.
I was no longer social.
I was no longer in my imaginary euphoria.
But I pretended to be.
For him.
I still tried to make him laugh, and smile.
I always wanted him to be happy.
As long as he was happy, I didn't feel too bad.
It was when he moved away, and I was left alone
That I sealed my lips, and threw away the key.
Forever quiet
Forever anxious
Forever nervous
Forever awkward
Always lost and alone. Hoping that one day, I will stumble upon another
That will help me discover it again.
{L}
