Knight in shining leather

The Dark Forest

Chapter 7: The Dark Forest

Crystal

Derrick sighed as he ran a hand through his wet hair, "Ok, ok.... We need a plan. A strategy to try and keep us alive."

Well, have I got a plan for us!

"I know! Why don't we just..... Stay alive! Then we won't be dead!" I pat myself on the back. Brillaint idea Crystal. Really, you've out done yourself.

He turned to face me, "No shit!" I interrupted him,

"Well, that's good. Shit is disgusting! That stuff always smells REALLY bad and you never know when your going to step in it and when you do you have to clean your shoes, but then the detergent smell never quite goes away so it lingers on inside your shoes until one day the smell transfers to your feet, and then the NEXT thing you know your feet all of a sudden smell like LEMONS!" I throw my hands in the air when I see Derrick's blank face staring back at me. "And who wants there feet to smell like lemons! I know I don't! I want my feet to smell like feet!"

Derrick's gaze switches to Malik's, "Do you see what I've been putting up with?"

Malik rolled his eyes as he ate his banana, "How dreadful it must be for you. To have to look after a beautiful young girl with a sense of humour." He stared pointedly at Derrick, "Really. It must be a total pain in the As.."

"Astroid!" I filled in.

"Sssssss........" Malik hissed, his eyes darted towards mine before he sighed. "Astroid. All I can say Derrick is that at least you've never had to look after an old woman with a bad case of bunions. I still have the dreams." His wings shivered in fright and disgust.

Derrick whipped out his sword from his back sheath and swung it around in furocious strikes.

I'm starting to get the sense that he's frustrated..... or angry. I can never tell the difference between the two!

Wow.... He really choppped off the head of his imaginary opponent there.

Spider man crawling over to where the imaginary body lay, I insepcted it. "Yep!" I popped the 'p', "Deffintly dead. Cause of death? Well..... judging from the severed head I would say.... a paper cut. Yep! Deffinitly a paper cut!" I stood up from my crouched position and announced, "I pronounce this non-exhistant man...... DEAD!"

Derrick and Malik both gave me 'WTF?' looks. Well, actually Derrick gave me that look. Malik just gave me a gooey banana smile. Fangs, saliva and all.

"Really?! I think looking after a woman with bunions is FAR better than looking after a bimbo containing a brain the size of a pea!" Derrick exasperated to him.

I giggled under my breath, "He said Pea!"

Malik shrugged, chewing on his banana, "I'm just a weird looking bat monkey, what would I know?"

"FUCK!" Derrick cursed and swung his sword, chopping Malik's banana in half.

Oh no he didain't!

The banana didn't even see it coming.

Malik was frozen with his mouth open. Still waiting to take that bite. Half of his banana lay smooshed on the ground. The silence was intense as we waited for his reaction.

"Derrick said a bad word," I pointed at him.

He glared at me, "Don't. Don't you start now Crystal. For it is your fault we are stuck down here and about to face our doom!"

I put a hand on my chest and gasped, "Me?! Well I never. I believe I wasn't the only person that jumped off the edge of the waterfall!"

He sputtered, "YOU pushed me!"