Remnant Thoughts

i remember

i remember the time you shattered a plate at 6 in the morning

i  remember the time you smashed your phone and it broke

i remember when you picked up my brother in his rocker and 

threatened to throw it

i remember how often you yell at her everyday

i remember when you called her a pig

i remember every swear, every beratement, every derogatory term

i remember the times you buy her something as an apology

i remember that time you grabbed her

i will remember today when you yelled "i want to thrash her" two feet in front of me

i will remember her coming into my room crying

i will remember her telling me she's only alive

 for my sake and my brother's

because she'd rather be dead.

i see the good memories fade

i don't want to remember the image of you holding me when i was 3

imprinted on the coffee mug across the room

i don't want to remember the fact that you technically saved her life

from the ongoing cancer

only to make her feel miserable with the life she's living now

i don't want to remember the fact that you spend three out of four weeks away

just to make sure we have enough to pay

because a luxury house, five tvs, your sports car, and everything else spoonfed to me

was not enough

 the one thing i could never get out of you

is some respect.

because i remember everything except your reverence for your wife and me

and i won't forget