Remnant Thoughts

everything i want to say about my mother

I love my mother, trust me.

But the last thing I want to do is end up like her.

To have an arranged marriage, that she didn't want, to a man whom she doesn't even love.

Whom she tells me she wants to leave but she can't because she has nowhere else to go.

Who kicks her out of the room and makes her sleep alone.

Her depression worsened by someone who belittles her constantly and screams at her when all she wants is love.

Who she tries to be patient and quiet with, to only be yelled at to "shut the fuck up" or "stop being a bitch"

To have a brother who tried to kill himself but her own husband won't let her see him.

To have to act like he's the best man on Earth when her in-laws come around.

Whom she has to defend to her children to keep the familial structure together, when really she can't stand him.

Who tries to make friends, but her husband always secludes her from everyone.

To be completely brainwashed because he brings home diamond necklaces and new purses.

To not be allowed to get her own job because her husband threatens to quit his

To have her daughter yell at her husband to get her hands off her, because she can't stick up for herself.

To not even be able to raise her voice or speak her opinion without being yelled at

To have to pretend she's happy in public or on social media

But no one sees those times when she tells me she wants to die

Or when she says she has no reason to live, because her own husband drives her to that point

When it reaches the point in which her own daughter has to yell at her father to respect his wife

To have wasted her life with a man who has slowly taken everything good from her.