Sadie and I finally finished working on my schoolwork and were laying down. It was a weekend so Sadie was staying over just to keep me calm. She did this every weekend. I had my arms wrapped around her and she was playing with my hair.
"Remind me what it's like." she sighed. I ask all the time for her to describe what it's like going different places. "Last month I went to the lake where we used to play when we were kids. I just didn't tell you cause I didn't want you to be sad. It's not all that great. It's cold. And there's a lot of rocks and broken branches from trees. But there's still a lot of turtles and the waters still clear so you can see all the fish and the shells."
I felt tears building up in my eyes and pulled her closer. It doesn't seem like a big deal but it really is. We used to go out there to escape from reality. Sadie. The queen of Moonrise Kingdom. That's what we named it. I was her king. We haven't been there in so long and I don't think I'll ever step outside again. Sadie looked up at me. "It's okay Finn. It's okay." She put her head on my chest and rubbed my back. I watched her fall asleep like this feeling her breath on my skin. I held her in my arms like this every weekend and although I believe she makes me the luckiest boy on earth, it hurts. I need her. I can't go a day without her, literally, and it kills me inside every time I watch her fall asleep in my arms knowing she'll never be mine. It sounds dramatic but I'll never be able to kiss her lips or tell her how much I love her. Its driving me insane. She'll always think of me as a friend and that's ok. I just wish she knew. If there's anyway I could tell her. I would do anything. Maybe even die. I stared out my window looking at all the tiny stars. I kissed her forehead before I fell asleep and whispered. "I love you."
