IF I LOVED YOU//ANASTASIA

III.

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide

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"walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain, though your dreams be tossed and blown..."

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Laughs were shared around the people of the bayside town, as they shared lighthearted conversation. They had all eaten their clams, and were content with their lives.

Dmirty was sitting with Anya, trying to focus on being with Anya, though he knew the looming task at hand. Dmitry knew that Gleb said that no one would be killed, but there was that sense of dread that let plucking at Dmitry.

Glen had never given any real reason to be trusted. He had always flirted with Anya and showed affection to her, even after she was married. This always rubbed Dmitry the wrong way. Not to mention the fact that Gleb had a strong dislike for Anya's late father. Political views caused Anya's father to be not liked among many, especially to Gleb. However, Dmitry didn't enjoy digging up the dark hatred of the past.

"I'll be right back..." Dmitry said quietly.

"Where are you going?" Anya asked, childlike innocence plaguing her voice.

"I have to take care of something..." he told her, before kissing her forehead.

Dmitry walked off, to a little area on the small beach, far away from where the clambake has once taken place. He soon saw Gleb, and ran towards him. The two would have to swim a little ways in the bay before they got to the destination where the boat would land.

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Dmitry couldn't decide if he was shaking because of the utter coldness or the fact that he was absolutely terrified. As Dmitry kept going, he noticed that he had no real reason to ever trust Gleb in the first place. Then again, Dmitry really could use the money. This money would be a bundle of help for his and Anya's future child, whether it be a boy or a girl.

When he saw the man walking from the boat, Dmitry rushed down to see him. He had a clam knife in his pocket, though he didn't plan on using it. He didn't plan on being a part of any murder on this beach.

"Excuse me, sir... do you know the time?" Dmitry asked, as he noticed Gleb sneaking behind.

The mill owner started to look at his watch, but was distracted by Gleb coming at him. Naturally, the mill owner had almost been assaulted many times before. He knew self defense. Gleb was the first to find that out, when his arm was twisted away. Dmitry ran up a loading platform that was on the dock nearby. The shouts from the mill owner caused ship crew to come running. Some tried to get the police.

Dmitry looked down from the platform that he was standing on. Policemen and crew from the ship were all yelling at him, though no one could identify him. All Dmitry knew was that he couldn't do this. He couldn't escape the police unharmed, he couldn't get caught, in fear of breaking his reputation for Anya and this child. Without thinking, Dmitry took the clam knife from his pocket, and decided what the best option was. The dull knife pierced Dmitry's stomach, and he started to fall off of the platform.

The policemen, luckily, caught him as he fell. Dmitry didn't mind that they knew who he was. Nothing mattered anymore.

Dmitry was going to die, and he was well aware of this fact.

Some of the people from the clambake heard the commotion and formed a crowd around Dmitry. He was laid down flat on the ground.

Anya.

Anya rushed towards her husband. She was in shock. She didn't expect this fate so soon.

"Dmitry!" Anya fell to the ground to get closer to him, one last time.

"Anya, I'm so sorry-Gleb, he-he thought we could-get some money-and..." Dmitry started. Every last breath was getting harder and harder. Anya shushed him.

"It's going to be okay..." she reassured him, even she knew it wouldn't. The baby would have no father, and Anya would loose one of the best, if not the best, parts of her life.

"Tell the baby that I-didn't mean it... That, I'm always-with them..."

"I will..."

"Hold my hand-tightly-Anya..."

Anya squeezed Dmitry's hand, careful not to put him in more pain than he was. Dmitry requested that she held it tighter, until he finally mustered out the "good" of goodbye, before sinking down.

Dmitry was gone.

Anya kissed his head, and kept her hand in his lifeless hand. She never expected the sound of the world crashing down on her to be so silent.

"Sleep, Dmitry... Rest now, okay? I always wanted to tell you something. You'd laugh if you heard it, but I really do love you... I love you. I love you Dmitry Sudayev..." Anya started to quietly weep, "I was always so ashamed to say it, but I guess I finally did..."

Nana was among the crowd that surrounded Anya and Dmitry's body. She carefully walked over to her granddaughter, who was carefully throwing her shawl over her late husband. Anya felt as if her heart was going to burst.

"What am I going to do now?" Anya sobbed. She couldn't help but stare at the ground. Not at Dmitry or her Nana-for they were too painful to look at. Just the familiar sand that she had seen so many times before in her life. The sand that she played on as a child. The sand that she would dream in as a teenager. The sand where she and Dmitry would sit and talk to each other in. The sand where she and Dmitry has shared many kisses, including their last one.

"Anya... the main thing you have to do now is to just keep living. You'll have to stay with me, so I can be around when the baby comes. But you have to keep going on, no matter what happens..." Nana started, "Remember the sampler you gave me last Christmas? Do you remember what it says?"

Anya nodded, still keeping her eyes trained on the ground, "We used to sing that song in school..."

"Sing the words now... Just think of what they mean..." Nana told her, placing her arms around her broken granddaughter.

"When you walk through a storm, keep your chin up high, and don't... be afraid... of the dark..." Anya started to recite the words, but was overcome with sadness. She started to sob again.

Nana recited the words of the song that was an important memory for both her and Anya. Anya learned the song in school, and taught is to her Nana. They sang it together after her parents and siblings died, and Nana was reminding her of the words, now that the love of her life was gone.

Anya nodded and embraced her grandmother.

"Goodbye, Dmitry..." Anya said one last time, as she gave him a final kiss. The two walked away with the rest of the crowd to go back home and try to forget the terrible things that had just occurred.