Leon, Leon (BoyxNB romance)

Chapter 16

“It’s not a big deal, Mills. Don’t worry about it.”

She was in my room, spinning around on my computer chair as I sat in bed with a box of cookies. She pressed her foot down on the ground so she could stop to look at me.

“Cal, I can’t let you come home at half seven at night from someone’s house without having food and a giant bruise in the back of your head. I’m not trying to be against you, I just want you to talk to me about what went on.”
“I will, later, ok? But right now I’m tired, so can you stop pretending to be Mam and just chill for tonight, let me rest maybe?” She rolled her eyes.
“No, I can’t, actually,” she said. “I get that you don’t want to make a big deal out of it but the less you tell me the more I get worried and yes, I am being your Mam right now because our actual mother is neck deep in legal papers and arranging extra shifts so we can eat decently. If you’re not going to get a job to help us like I am, then you least you can do is stop giving her emotional trouble.”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t get a job, Mills, I said I can’t. Pretty much all places don’t allow under sixteen year olds, and they all want to see exam results too. As soon as both happen, I will, ok? But just don’t have a go at me for random shit like that now. It makes me feel bad.”
“Well I’m not exactly saying all this to make you feel good,” she raised her voice, standing up. “Just stop making this so difficult. At this point, I don’t even give a shit about what it is. Tell me you got in a fight, you got drunk, tell me whatever, as long as it’s the truth.”
“I just... hit my head. That’s all.”
“So hard you got a concussion? You almost passed out walking home, Cal. Lucky he only lived a street or two up, when you got home you were in such a state I was about to take you over to the hospital! How the fuck did that happen?”
“I... can’t say, Mills, ok? I can’t.”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
“Both.”
She threw her hands up in the air, then pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why? Can’t you tell me shit anymore? What happened to each other knowing everything? I told you about that one time I did weed, and had sex with a random guy in the back of his car, and everyone I’ve had a crush on and everything I’ve never told anyone else. What’s so special that you can’t do the same to me?”
“Because it’s not mine to say, alright?” I said, my head throbbing from the way I had craned it to look at her. “If I talk about it, I’ll be invading on Leon’s business. Sharing personal shit, that will hurt him way too much. I don’t think he’s told people a lot of his personal life, he doesn’t have someone to have these conversations with – I’m not going to break that trust, Mills. Not even with you, and I’m sorry about that.”
“You really...” She took a deep breath in. “You really think I give that much of a shit about this Leon guy?”
“W... what ?”
“I don’t know him. He’s from a different country, he barely speaks English, and you say he has personal shit going on and that equates to you have a fucked up head. He also never messaged you when you gave him your phone number, and he made you bunk off a French lesson even though he knows you’re doing bad at it, and making you do his work for him because he can’t be bothered to learn the language well enough himself-“
“Shut the fuck up!” I said, hastily getting off the bed. My head throbbed, but I tried to ignore the pain. “You don’t know shit about him! He’s not lazy, he’s the most hard-working person I’ve met, I was already bunking off the lesson and he just didn’t want to leave me along, because he’s an actually fucking nice person. He didn’t message me because his parents – his mother – is strict, so he wasn’t allowed it. And fuck me, Mills, you’re meant to be the politically active one of us, and you’re holding the fact he’s not from here against him? Some fat hypocrite you are.” I felt myself out of breath, and light-headed as fuck. I took a step back to steady myself.
“So that’s how we’re going to do this? I’m trying to help you, get you through shit, and you’re not even listening to me-“
“Because you’re talking bullshit.”
“And how do you know that? How don’t you know everything he’s ever said isn’t a lie. Please, inform me, I’d love to know. You’ve known this guy for two weeks and you’re already treating him like a God.”
“Well, sometimes you need to defend your friends. Put trust in them, you know? Have their backs.”
“Yeah, because that’s really worked every other time. Clearly you’re a pro at this, I’m so fucking sorry.”
I paused, trying to catch my breath. “Get the fuck out, Mills,” I said, quietly. Then, before she had much time to respond, I felt myself explode. “Get the fuck out, alright?! Get the fuck out!”
“Yeah, sure. Call me when you’re ready to be an adult to me, alright? Until then, yeah, I don’t want to see you either.”
“Fuck you, Mills!” I couldn’t stop myself. “Fuck you, you fucking bitch! I fucking hate you, you cunt! No matter Matt fucked that other girl, I feel bad for her for having to share his dick with you!” I probably shouldn’t have said that. But I don’t care. She said a lot of shit she shouldn’t have, too.

She grabbed the door handle, looking back once more. “Fuck you, Callum,” she said, quietly. “Fuck you.”

And, as she said my name, just in that way, the same way he had so many times since we first met – I felt exhausted. So I lay back on the bed, and cried, more than I ever had before, and slept.