Leon, Leon (BoyxNB romance)

Chapter 30

“So how was it?”

I shut the car door, grateful for the warmth that hit my cheeks. Milly had the radio on, but turned it down as I sat.

“The priest guy – Imam, I think they call them – was actually really nice. Like, almost like a parent, or something. I’ve told him just to see how it goes, that it’s whatever he wants, but I think it’ll be alright.”
“Good,” she said. “I wonder if I’d ever be a Muslim, or Christian or whatever. I’ve never really thought about it to be honest; I guess I’ve always just thought of it as an old person thing, you know? Maybe my life would be improved by a big man in the sky, though.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said, but all I could think about was what Leon said, for some reason. It reminded me of the night he told me all of it – a time I had thought about again and again, feeling guilt for not knowing what to say, or how I should think of him, physically. I try to tell him I like parts of him, but what if they’re the parts he wants to change? Would he like long hair, and dresses, and that sort of thing? But not always? I was trying to figure it out, but just... couldn’t. “Hey, Mills, can I ask you about something? It’s a bit... random.”
“Sure, go for it.”
“Sometimes... there are men, who don’t want to be men, right?”
“Huh?”
“Like some men... call themselves women. And live like one, and stuff.”
“Oh, yeah, yeah. Trans people, you mean. Yeah, some people, you know, they’re born male but feel like a woman, or the other way around. It’s not that uncommon.”
“Yeah, um... do you know why?”
“Why people are transgender? Jeez, you’re working my psychology knowledge now. I’ve never... met, a trans person, or if I have I don’t know about it, so I’m not sure, but I guess... well put it this way. What do you think makes a man a man?”
“Uh... having a dick, I guess?”
“So then transgender women are men?”
“No, of course not, they’re the exception.”
“Okay, so then having a penis doesn’t make you a man. So what does?”
“Like... I don’t know. All the chromosomes and shit, you know. Testosterone and all that sort of thing.”
“Okay,” she began. “But you know that there are guys out there who have three chromosomes for biological sex? Like typically, it’s XX or XY, but XYY and XYX totally exist too, occasionally. And I’m pretty sure bodies have small amounts of both of the hormones, like don’t quote me on that, but... And even if they aren’t, a girl in my class has to inject herself with oestrogen, because her body doesn’t produce it.” She sighed. “The point I’m making is that nature is weird, right? And so are our minds. Firstly, what we are born with doesn’t always align with what we know as ‘male’ or ‘female’, and even if it does, then you have stereotypes and society and all that shit. Gender isn’t rigid like people think it is, there are a ton of cultures where there are more than two genders in society, and some species of fish and bugs and shit are so weird they don’t even maintain one biological sex their entire life.”
“Woah. That’s all so... weird.”
“I know, that’s a lot of people’s reactions, but I mean... it makes sense, right?” I nodded. “The world is weird. Having two little boxes doesn’t always work.”
“So, like... do you think someone could be like a girl and a guy? Like... at the same time, or something, I don’t know.”
“Yeah, there are some people that just say fuck it to norms and just do whatever the hell they want. Sometimes some have girl days and boy days, or stuff like that, and some just throw it all out the window and don’t even bother labelling themselves at all. They’re just them, no obligatory girl or boy or whatever label included.”
“So, wait, like... really ? There are people out there who genuinely say those kinds of things? Like it’s... a really real thing?”
“Yeah, yeah. It’s called being nonbinary, I think. As in, not within two different options. Some people do it as a rebellious thing – fuck the system, all that kind of thing – but I think most just try to fit in. Which is what we all do, right?”
“Yeah, of course,” I said, a huge wave of relief washing over me. I couldn’t wait to tell him. “Thanks, Mills. You know everything.”