The Butterfly Effect

9. I Know You

Kyle overdosed. Kyle overdosed at 2:34 am. Kyle is dead. I know I never talked about Kyle, but he was a frat brother. He was outgoing, funny, and willing to help anyone. He dabbled in the drug culture, sure, but he was not that far gone that he'd do that to himself; not even accidentally.

Grandmother warned me about the butterfly effect. For every action there is a reaction. Even something as small as the fluttering of butterfly wings can make a natural disaster happen halfway across the world. Small causes can have larger effects. How ever you want to say it, it's all the same: be careful with what you want to change because you can only change the event once and you're stuck with the consequences.

Grandmother left me many rules in her attic when she passed. Another one of those rules were: you cannot cheat death. Louis succeeded on overdosing on his drugs and therefore, someone I know was supposed to die at 2:34 am. I used my power to save him, but that left an opening for someone I know to overdose in his pace....and for whatever reason, the universe picked Kyle.

FUCK. This is all my fault. I did this. I killed Kyle. I could go back in time and save him, sure I could, but somebody else would go just in his place. How do you pick someone and say, "Well you're worthy of dying today?" I don't want that. I don't! Maybe I should go back to when I first met Louis and ignore him, that way I never knew he existed...

But will I easily forget?

"Harry?" Niall asked rubbing my shoulder. "Wanna talk about it?"

".... About what?" I retort, too lost in my thoughts to hear him.

"About Kyle. I think we need to have a psychoeducation booth on campus about accidental overdoses and how to prevent them.... everyone knows Kyle was starting to use more and more. We were all talking about it, but I guess we turned a blind eye," Niall put his head down in shame.

"He did?" Wait...so this may be a coincidence and not my fault then, right? I mean, even Niall was made aware of his problem. "Then how did I not know?"

"I just...like to protect you, Lad. Shelter you. I'd rather you be your carefree self, waking up on the lawn using your glittery boot as a pillow." Niall looked down in shame.

I pull him into a hug, a lingering hug. Not sure if it's for him or me. Probably both considering the whole house is trying to process Kyle's sudden death. I can't help but to think how lucky I truly am though. I shared with you before: every hero needs a sidekick and Niall is mine. Always.

~*~*~*~*~*

I'm just going to tell you how the next two weeks went. They had Kyle's funeral back in his hometown, surrounded by people who loved him in his small town. His mother was devastated, rightfully so. Even she spoke that drugs kill, and he had a problem for a long time, but I can't help but think this is somehow my fault. It must be.

Then, there was Louis. I saw him back on East Main, the upscale regal part of town where I first laid eyes on his beauty. He was talking to Leather Jacket man, refused to look in my direction except offer me a half-hearted smile. I tired to talk to him, but he said he was in a hurry and had to leave. I watched as he and Leather Jacket man left in the same cab. I guess he truly meant he'd see me around. I guess he didn't like our cuddle session.

What the fuck was I thinking, anyway? Hello stranger that I met walking out of a gay nightclub. My name is Harry Styles and I'd like to take you out for dinner and drinks, take you back to your place, wake up to you overdosing and bring you back to life to only take you out for dinner and drinks again, take you back to my place, and cuddle and talk to you.