Taurus (Stray Kids Bang Chan)

Twenty-six

^^^
Just because I was listening to it while writing this chapter and remembered how amazing of a song and MV is was...not to mention how cute and sweet the lyrics are ^^^

Sleep had always been easy for Alyssa. So when she couldn't sleep for a whole three nights straight, she began to worry about her wellbeing.

She had always heard of insomnia but never did she imagine having it.

Her mind just wouldn't let her have a rest. It was constantly bringing more thoughts and ideas and to her attention. And she'd be lying if she said she didn't find it even the slightest bit stressful.

December was nearing its end and soon it would be the new year which only meant one thing: Chris and Bam were leaving.

Obviously, Alyssa wanted to be happy for them but she just couldn't find it in her. They were leaving...for good. And she would most likely never see them again.

Once again, she lay motionless in the middle of the single bed, staring up at the ceiling as all her thoughts took over her cloudy mind.

Time was passing before her droopy eyes but she couldn't find a way to be productive again.

Everything just seemed to be in the way.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Alyssa was happy for an escape from her thoughts but Chris was the last person she wanted to see that very moment.

"What's up?" She asked as she pretended as though she had been asleep.

"It's nothing much," he shrugged. "I just had insomnia."

Alyssa tried to push away the urge to smile upon hearing he was in the same state as her. At least she wasn't suffering on her own.

"Come on," she said as she gestured for him to enter her room, which he happily did.

"What's keeping you up?" She asked once he made himself comfortable on a seat near the bed.

Chris sighed as he looked to the ground.

"The fact I'm leaving..."

"Don't tell me you don't want to leave..."

"No, it's not that. I do want to leave, I just don't want to leave you."

"Chris, don't involve me in this-"

"How can I not? You mean so much to me. I can barely function anymore when you aren't around."

"Stop it, Chris. Stop thinking about me," she sighed. "I knew this was a bad idea..."

"What was?"

"Dating you. Everything would be so much better for the both of us right now if I only rejected you."

Chris froze. What came out of Alyssa's mouth was the last thing her expected to hear. And it hurt him to realise she felt like that.

Realising what she had said, Alyssa instantly felt terrible. She didn't mean what she said obviously, it was just a thought she couldn't get off her mind for weeks now.

What would have happened if she had rejected Chris? A lot, she realised, a lot would have happened...and none would have been good.

"I see," Chris uttered awfully quietly. The pain was evident in his voice.

"Chris, I-"

"Let's break up then," he suddenly spoke, surprising Alyssa.

"W-what?"

"I said we should break up," he said louder, harsher. "It's clear you don't feel how I feel."

"No, Chris, I didn't mean what I said."

"Then why did you say it?"

Alyssa grabbed his hand, pleading him not to leave.

"I just...I don't know."

"Well, I think I know...tell me, did you ever stop having feelings for Bam?"

Alyssa was quiet. Not because she felt something for Bam but because she couldn't believe Chris would ask such a thing.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," he sighed as he pulled his hand away from her grip.

"Don't leave, please," she pleaded as Chris approached the door.

He wrapped his hand around the cold metal, hesitant to leave.

"Why not? So you could hurt me even more?"

"No, you just don't get it. I didn't mean it. It's just a thought that has been on my mind for so long. I've been having insomnia as well because I don't want to lose you too. Chris, I love you and I swear by that. Don't leave, not yet. I need you," she told him, tears rolling down her cheeks. Chris didn't turn to look at her but he knew she was crying and he knew everything she said was genuine.

He sighed as he ran a hand through his blond locks.

"I..."

"Don't break up with me."

He thought for a second.

"I need some space," he mumbled but the words were loud and clear in Alyssa's head. "I'm sorry."

And with that, he left.

Alyssa pulled her legs close to her chest as she began to cry.

Chris was all she could ever wish for. He was perfect and she screwed up her happy ending by overthinking.

She always had a tendency of screwing things up due to overthinking.

But she hoped this time around she would have managed to control her thoughts.

Thoughts are dangerous, her mother used to tell her but Alyssa found it a stupid saying yet now she stared at the door her only love just walked out of with only one thought in mind for the first time ever.

Thoughts are dangerous.

I feel like this chapter was boring but...yeah.

It only hit me the other day that this story is the longest I've ever written so far.

Anyway, thanks so much for reading this.

~SpicyThaiChicken