The letters

Too much too fast

Jac placed the notebook back on the table and waited for Fletch to return at the end of his shift. It's not long now, but I may as well sleep until he gets here, she thought as she closed her eyes and drifted of to sleep.

"Hey uhh Essie?" Fletch asked as he walked over to the desk and placed a folder down.
"Go Fletch. Go be with her. You know I saw her writing something in that book by her bed earlier," Essie shrugged.
"You are a star Essie and thanks for letting me know." Fletch waved bye to Nurse Di Lucca as he walked away to see sleeping beauty. He gently eased the door open, careful not to wake her, and tiptoed over to the uncomfortable plastic chair next to her bed. He turned his head to look at the notebook and was about to open it when Jac stirred.
" Ah Mr Fletcher I see your shift has finished," Jac mumbled with s small smile spread across her face.
"Is that a smile Ms Naylor?"Fletch chuckled.
"Hmm maybe," she replied, her smile ever-growing.

They talked for a while about everything and anything. From Emma to Becky to Valentine to Darwin to Hanssen and to Fletch.
"So Jac, about what I wrote," he started.  " What do you think about it all?"
"That is for me to know and for you to find out," she smiled. Jac pointed to the notebook on the table.
"I wrote something for you. Don't read it here, read it when your home or something."  He picked up the leather notebook and held it in his hands. He glanced at his watch. 19:57.
"Jac! Look at the time! Your just lucky my mums got the kids! I've got to go I'll see you tomorrow, text me if you need anything ok?" He placed a kiss on Jac's forehead before leaving. She was left speechless.
Fletch just kissed me, Jac thought.

About 45 minuets later, Fletch was sat on his sofa with his notebook in his hands.
"Well, here goes."  He opened it up to the page with her beautiful writing on it.
Fletch,
I'll keep this short and...sweet. I love you too. I love you Fletch. With all my heart. I loved your letters and I thank you.
Lots of love,
Jac.
"Wow." His mouth was left open and a tear fell to the page.
" I was not expecting that."
Fletch was soon knocked out of his trance by the sound of his phone ringing.
" Hello," he answered, still mesmerised by what Jac had written.
"Fletch it's Sacha. Look can you come in? It's Jac. No time for questions just come in."
"Of course I'll be right there." He hung up the phone and grabbed his jacket and keys. No,no,no. Please be ok, please be ok, he pleaded in his head.

He arrived at the hospital 20 minuets later due to the little traffic. He ran to the lift, but when he realised both were at the 5th and 4th  floor he turned and sprinted up the stairs all the way to Darwin, on the 6th floor.
"Sacha!" Fletch called from across the ward.
"Fletch, follow me," he replied.
"Where are we going?" Fletch jogged to catch up with him, he was tired but he couldn't miss whatever was happening.
"Theatre." Sacha's voice was blunt but filled with terror. Fletch's heart started to race as the endless possibilities ran around his head.

He watched Sacha perform Jac's surgery through the observation window.
He watched her slice her open like she was just some chicken he was cutting for his dinner.
He watched the heart rate monitor slow down mid-operation.
He watched Sacha and the rest of the team fight to save her life.
He watched his reflection as he felt his tears pour down his face.
He watched Sacha as he stopped fighting to save her.
He watched him say Jac's time of death, pronouncing her dead.
He watched them wheel Jac's cold lifeless body down to the morgue.
He watched Jac lie on the hard surface, eyes closed, fiery hair not so fiery.
He remembers kissing her on the lips and telling her he loved her. Forever and always.
He remembers walking through the hospital with everyone running to see if he was ok.
He remembers ignoring them and walking straight past.

He remembers having to tell Emma that mummy is going to be away for much longer than expected and might not come home.

He remembers how much damage one man had done.

He remembered all the good times he and Jac had had as he finished his third pint of beer.

He remembers crying himself to sleep every night.

He remembers the woman he loved.

He regretted not telling her sooner.

This was all too much, too fast.