Maybe One Day

8: Truth Be Told

"I don't know what I would do without you," he says, his face inches from mine as we lie facing each other on his bed, watching but not watching the movie.

"Lucky for you, you don't have to find out," I smile and slowly lean closer to him and bring my lips to his. He kisses me back and I feel goosebumps all over my arms.

"Can I tell you something?" he starts and I nod. "I think I might be in love with you, Olivia Sophia."

I smile madly and say, "I might have the same feelings," and then he grabs my waist and pulls me right up against him and kisses my nose. I giggle and then, for the first time, we make out. And it's beautiful and perfect in every way, and I think to myself, I am so lucky and would do anything for this boy, Christian Avano.

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"Olivia? Hellooooo?" Maddie says, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Sorry," I say, her snap quickly bringing me back to reality. I push all thoughts of Christian aside and focus on what Maddie is saying.

"What were you thinking about?" she asks.

"Nothing," I say quickly, ignoring the memories of junior year that have recently came flooding back into my mind. "I'm just tired, is all," I rub my eyes for emphasis.

She looks at me a second longer, then sighs. "Well, I was going to talk to you about Skylar's birthday in a few weeks. Thoughts?"

"Surprise party? It's her 18th birthday; she would love it, and she hasn't asked for one in years so she won't be expecting it!" I start to get excited; I love surprise parties.

"Perfect! At her house?"

"Yea, that works. Let's make it the day after her birthday, so she'll think we didn't throw a party,"

We continue talking about plans for the party and who to invite because Skylar tends to change who she loves and who she hates all the time.

Matt called me yesterday and told me he was taking me on a date. He wouldn't tell me where but he was picking me up today at two o'clock.

I checked my phone: 1:48. "Shit, sorry Maddie I have plans with M-Ryan so I have to get ready."

"Yea, wouldn't want to to miss your plans with mmm-Ryan. What was up with that?"

"I don't know, I told you, I'm tired," I run upstairs and change into a yellow dress with white polka dots and a white belt, which just puts me in a happy summer mood, and wear my sandals. I do a little more prepping, then check my phone again and it's 1:56. Wow, I'm good.

The doorbell rings and I run downstairs and smooth my horribly frizzy hair down before opening the door.

"Hey, you," I smile and quickly give him a kiss as he comes in. "Maddie's here, if you want to say hi before we leave," I offer.

We walk into the living room and Maddie stands up when she sees us. "Hey, Maddie, how's it going?"

She looks at him for a minute before saying coldly, "Hello, Ryan," she has her arms folded over her chest and is looking accusingly at Matt.

"Um, we're just gonna head out, but it was nice to see you -"

"Who do you think you are?" she interrupts.

"Maddie -" I step in.

"What the hell is wrong with you? She loved Christian. You can't hurt him to the point of close to death and then came back thinking it's all okay! Liv might not have the balls to stand up to you but I do. And then you have the nerve to come here and accuse her of cheating on you? And worse yet, you made her be the one to apologize! She didn't do shit! So why don't you man up and take some responsibility? And trust your girlfriend, for God's sake, who was so kind enough to give you a second chance. She loves you, I can assure you of that, so quit worrying she's gonna run off with some other guy - especially not Eli - because she is loyal to you. And you better be to her, because she deserves so much better than what you are giving her right now," she finishes with fire in her eyes.

I stand there, speechless, with my mouth hanging open and Matt is silent. After a few seconds he says, "You're right. I'm sorry. Can we go now?" he looks at me and his eyes show no emotion.

"Yea," I stutter and he walks away and I look back at Maddie once more before going with him.

In the car, he doesn't turn on the engine right away. "Was all that true?" he asks. Now his eyes look hurt, and pained, like he couldn't bear the thought of putting me through that.

Instead of answering I pause. "I went to see Christian the other day," I tell him quietly, afraid for him to get angry.

"Why?" he asks, calmly.

"His mom wanted me to. And I wanted to see him too, to see how he is doing."

"Is he okay?" he is picking at the steering wheel, not looking at me.

"He's...getting better. I was trying to get him to remember things."

"I'm so stupid," he mutters and I'm thrown off.

"What? Why?" I question.

"I need to explain something to you," he starts. He grabs my hand and I brace myself for what he has to say. He takes a deep breath and begins. "When I was little, my dad...had a temper. He was an alcoholic, which is why at that party we met at I wasn't drinking. It runs in my family and if I have even a little and no self control, I could go downhill. Anyway, my dad would come back from a bar after he got in a fight with my mom and would hit me. If I didn't clean up my dishes after dinner, or was up too late watching tv, or wasn't spending enough time with my mom, he would hit me. Eventually it was just expected and I would take it every night. I grew up watching him beat people when they made him mad, usually me or my mom. When I was fifteen, this guy was just - instigating, and making me so mad and something in me snapped. I got in trouble with the law and after that I decided it would never happen again. No matter what I was taught to do, I was never going to retaliate with violence again. But then I did, and I don't know why it happened, and I freaked and - I'm so sorry Olivia."

He now looks deep into my eyes and searches for forgiveness. "And that incident made me realize something. I'm in love with you. Totally and completely, head-over-heels in love with you. You were the only person that made me lose my head, but it was because I care so much about you and can't stand the thought of him doing that to you. So I guess what I'm saying is I hope you see why I am the way I am, and I will try so hard to control myself and make it up to you because I will do anything to make you forgive me."

Tears sting my eyes and one rolls down my cheek. "I had no idea..."

"I know," he says and wipes the tear off my cheek with his thumb. "And I'm so sorry, and whatever you need me to do for you to trust me again, I'll do it. I just...I've never felt this way about any other girl before. I've never let anyone into my life, because I was afraid of what I would do. But you...you bring out the good side of me. The side I'm not ashamed of. And I need that,"

I look at Matt. My wonderful, funny, attractive, troubled but perfect Matt. "I know. I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere," he smiles and lifts me onto his lap. Perks of being tiny, I think and I laugh and rest my head on his shoulder and his arms are wrapped around my waist protectively. He puts one hand on the side of my face and gently kisses me.

We stay like this for a few minutes, until I place my hand on his chest and say, "Isn't there a date we're supposed to be going on?" even though I don't want this to end either.

He groans dramatically and reluctantly agrees. I climb back over to the passenger side and we are off to an unknown destination.

At this point, all thoughts of Christian have vanished. We had a great year together but that's in the past. Matt is my present and future. I don't know why I would have doubted it. He needs me and I'm realizing that I truly need him. I will be there for Christian as a friend, nothing more. The only reason I had those feelings for him were because I remembered all those feelings from the past. But now I'm remembering the reasons I had for breaking up with him and it was the right choice. I love Matt with all my heart and, sitting next to him now, him comfortingly holding my hand, I see how perfect our relationship could be. I feel a huge weight pulled off my chest at the barrier we just crossed. And given time, this cut in our relationship will be healed.

*For any confusion, Matt and Ryan are the same person. Ryan is the nickname he is known by to everyone except Olivia. (And she may have accidently told Eli.) Matt is his real name, though. Just thought I'd clear that up :)*