The List

chapter 19

 We all got ready in Ryder's room, Ryder styling his hair, Eros toggling with a camera Ryder had lent him, and me, my foot awkwardly jigging as I attempted at a full face of makeup, which was much harder than I had anticipated.

Frowning at my reflection, I grabbed a pair of lashes, hoping it's length and curl would distract from my poorly done eyeliner.

"Fuck— Ryder help me with this damn thing."

Looking up from my work, I saw Eros in the reflection of the mirror, angrily tugging at his tie that was knotted fairly bad and was practically choking him.

"I'm busy," Ryder complained in a child-like voice, pausing to look at me, "Alice can you please help him?"

My neck cracked as I whipped my head to stare at Ryder in the bathroom. Surely he had heard at least part of our conversation earlier this evening, Eros and I weren't exactly on the best terms, and Ryder wanted me to redo his tie?

He shrugged back at my shocked face, and resumed styling his hair.

I stood from the bed, my feet chilling against the cool hardwood as I came to stand in front of Eros, avoiding his eye-contact, avoiding any unnecessary contact with him all-together. His body heat fell off him in rolls, his demeanor swallowing me whole and I struggled to clear my head as his overpowering scent pulled me in, as he pulled me in. My hands trembled as they reached up and unraveled the tight bow, my fingers nimbly and expertly knotting the black tie.

It had been me, all these years that kept my father together. I made him breakfast every morning, gave him his pills, and tied his tie, the nicest way a 10 year old could. And though those years had past us by, and my father no longer relied on me for his tie, I couldn't help but feel as though Eros and my father had a lot more in common than the inability to tie their ties.

We stood silently before one another as I made the neat knot, tightening it around his neck and folding down the collar of his dress shirt. "There," I said after I finished, smoothing down his shirt, my fingers brushing over the gold of his cufflinks Ryder lent to him.

"Thank you Alice," his voice was soft and kind, unlike how it was hours prior to this, unlike how his aura was exuding darkness and danger.

I swallowed and stepped back, for the first time that night, lifting my eyes to his and I felt as though I was being sucked into a vortex, as though my eyes were glued on him, and only him. My cheeks flushed at his gentle stare, beckoning and apologetic, the soft frown that creased his lips, and despite the softness of his expression, he seemed harsh. Perhaps it was the suit and gold cufflinks, the navy blue socks with penguins on them that somehow screamed Eros, or the way he stood, perhaps it was nothing at all, but in that moment, Eros seemed like the dangerous boy they all made him out to be.

I took a few more steps back, and then turned, returning to the bed where I'd finish my makeup.

"Alice."

I ignored him.

Sitting on the bed, I resumed applying my lashes, carefully picking them up with tweezers and aligning them with my eye. "I invited Henry by the way Ryder," I called into the bathroom, not wanting to give Eros the pleasure of his apology.

I didn't care that it was selfish and child-like, he shouldn't have spoken to me like that and I wasn't prepared to forgive him for it.

Ryder flicked off the bathroom light and popped out of the bathroom, hair finally done, an eyebrow raised. "You invited him?" He questioned curiously. "Well then, I suppose your date went well."