BURDEN ✔

[Chapter 17]

Why did I have to reject them? Seokjin stared at his reflection on their dance studio's giant mirror across him, trying to control his breath. They are my parents, they know what is the best for me.

Why did I have to stay here? He questioned again, pulling his knees to his chest and hugged it.

I'm just a burden here. They couldn't even do something without getting scared that they would somehow break me. He looked at the other members who were busy controlling their breath after doing some exhausting dance routine.

I held them back. He remembered when they had to postponed their schedule after his suicide attempt.

I always did. The time when they had to do the same choreo over and over again because he wasn't getting it was also playing on his mind.

Why did I have to stay here? He looked at the maknae line on the other side of the room who were busy laughing over something, then the rapper line across him who were busy talking about some lyrics even at the break time.

If I go, if I leave, they will be free. The image of his members had to take turn to take care of him came across his mind, he could remember the guilt he saw on their faces when they realised that they left him alone at the dorm. At least, they don't have to think about the consequences of doing something so much.

But how about their meals? Who will cook their breakfast, lunch and dinner?

Wait, Hobi can. Seokjin smiled sadly, and Jimin can make sure everyone eat three times a day.

Namjoon will make sure that everyone sleep at least four hours a day. He looked at his leader who were saying about his lyrics to Hoseok and Yoongi. Then his eyes landed on the pale boy in front of Namjoon. Yoongi will make sure everyone do their chores.

Taehyung will tell them every small things that they didn't notice, he thought when his ears caught Taehyung's laugh. He smiled a little when Taehyung and Jimin laughed at something that Jungkook did. Jungkook will lighten up their day and cheer them up.

Looking straight into his reflection on the mirror and leaning back on the wall, his let out a long sigh. Right, I think I should leave.

It's the best for us.

They can do anything without worrying about me.

"Hyung?"

Seokjin snapped out from his thoughts and saw Jimin standing in front of him, eyebrows raising as a sign of confusion, "you alright?"

"I am, why?" Seokjin asked back, opening his bottle's cap.

"You zoned out. Is everything alright?" Jimin asked again, and Seokjin smiled.

"I'm fine, Jiminie, don't worry," he replied, ruffling the younger's hair. Though Jimin wasn't really conviced, he decided not to push further. He would only keep an eye on his hyung throughout the day.

"Break's over! Back to position!" Sungdeuk told them, sitting up from his chair.

All of them stood up and laid in the middle of the room, preparing to do their 'I Need U' dance routine. Seokjin looked up at the ceiling, feeling the floor vibrate when the music played. The same thought swam through his mind.

I think I should leave.

He sighed, before sitting up and kneeling on the floor, waiting until Hoseok's finished his part of the choreography before standing up and walking to his next spot.