The Awkward Dating Life of a Queer Girl (girlxgirl)

CHAPTER 1 - Movies

Movies. I guess that was where it all began. A so complex source of words and images that leads you to totally different place and makes you experience a hundred different feelings through its 90 minutes of duration. Allowing you to be someone entirely new, to feel what it is to be in their skin, cry like they do and the most intriguing thing. Understand what is going on inside their minds.

I admit I always thought of it with fascination. I wondered if maybe someday it would be possible that someone would see the world through my eyes. If someone would feel and understand what was going on inside my own head and would actually find it interesting.
Although, I think it was the part of being someone else for a while, to scape my own skin and my own current location that made it all so alluring to me.

I remember I was sitting at my mother's bed watching Moulin Rouge for probably the 100th time. The year was 2001 and me in my six years of age was trying hard to listen to Nicole Kidman sing her duet with Ewan McGregor. I was sitting as closer as I could to the TV trying to block all the screaming going on outside the room. I could hear from distance what appeared to be glasses breaking at the ground. I flinched at the strident sound but kept my eyes glued at the TV.

Watching grown up movies at that stage was hard for me. I usually didn't get a lot of what the characters were discussing, but still this one caught my undivided attention. The fact that Nicole's character was a so called courtesan didn't ring me any recognition to what she actually did for a living. I am kind of embarrass to admit that only years later I would understand what the leading character's profession of my favorite movie was. Well, I was six give me a break.

I had decided to put subtitles on this time. It seemed to be the most intelligent idea, since I could not get everything they were singing and I wanted to memorize every the lyric. Yeah, I liked the movie that much.

My eyes squinted at the TV as I tried hard to read all the words that popped on the scream at each new second. Much to my dismay there were a lot of them that I could not register fast enough. I remember I thought of it as a big failure at the time, not considering the fact that I had just learned to read two years ago and didn't have that much experience to be that fast yet.

Suddenly, my Ciclope's burning gaze was interrupted by the infamous robot noise that started coming off of the TV sound device, which was clearly presenting problems. I sighed dramatically getting up from the bed and going to the corner of the room where my mother's chair lay still waiting to be used as my improvised ladder. I pushed it till it was standing in front of the TV calculating the right angle where it should stand for my plan to work. I was not exactly tall enough to reach the device, you see, so I had to find a way to climb my way up somehow.

"WHORE!"

I jumped frightened at the manly voice almost losing my balance and falling off the chair. For my luck my quick reflexes compensated and I was able to grab the end of the TV rack and stable myself. I guess playing soccer at school did pay off for something after all. Acting like nothing had happened I examined the sound device with caution. I stretched my fingers cautiously preparing myself, like what I was about to do was the most complex chirurgical procedure of the world.

My family wasn't poor, but we weren't exactly rich either and unfortunately having the TV fixed was not exactly my mother's highest priority at the moment, as much as I had argued with her about it. Guess I was just not persuasive enough.

I raised my hand in preparation for what I knew would probably solve my problem for now at least, and then landed it at device as hard as I could.
As the loud noise installed itself in the room my ears instantly caught Nicole's voice clearly again, and thankfully the infamous robot noise vanished. I felt my lips pursing upward then, probably painting a kind of victorious smile on my face. Well done Doctor! I mentally congratulated myself for the success of my latest procedure.