Playas Rock: A Kirko Bangz & Chris Brown Story #Wattys2015

Chapter 26: Let Her Go

'Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep'

Chris' P.O.V.

I've been avoiding Tyler like the plague but even though I do I still see her all the time. I see her in my head vividly. Everytime I close my eyes to sleep, even just to blink I see her. Everytime I don't occupy myself with something to do she's all I think about. I was suspicious of her but I didn't think... I don't know what I thought but it damn sure wasn't that.

She said she loves him. She loves Michael. Now here I am laying on my bed staring at the ceiling trying to make since of everything. I think i'm in love with her but she loves someone else. I know I can't change how she feels to make it where she loves me back.

That doesn't mean that i'm ok with the situation. She was playing me. She was playing both me & Kirk. I don't really even know how he's feeling, I mean I know we don't really like each other but shit like this makes me feel for him. We're in the same damn boat.

I'm not as oblivious or dense as i'm made out to be. I know he has or at least had feelings for her too. I wonder if she actually cared about either one of us? I wonder what'd it be like if I had never met her? I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I almost missed hearing my room door open.

I turned my head towards the door & held my breath as soon as my eyes landed on Tyler. She was standing there looking better than in my head staring at me on the bed. "We need to talk", she said. I turned my head back towards the ceiling, "Talk about what?", I asked. She sighed closing door behind her, "Us", she said simply folding her arms over her chest.

"Us? What us Tyler because the last time I checked we wasn't shit. You don't love me but my supposed bestfriend", he responded bitterly. She sighed again, "I'm so-", I cut her off. I sat up & turned my body to face her, "I don't want to here tha-", she cut me off. "Let me fucking talk Chris", she snapped.

I chuckled humorlessly, "Let you talk? Haven't you talked enough Tyler? The last time I talked to you that's all you did. It's not fucking fair that you made me fall for your ass & it was all bullshit. I was letting the player lifestyle go for you. Hell, I wanted to be with you for real but you don't want to do you? I love you, there I said it. I love you Tyler Good but I ain't enough. Why? I know i'm not as smart as Kirk or Michael or even that bitchass nigga August. I know i'm headstrong. I know I flirt a lot. I know i'm not the best muthafucka out there but I try. I tried for you & it's not enough. You're not in love with me but I am with you. Just knowing that shit hurts almost as much as you playing me. Why the fuck am I not for you?", I barked at her.

I didn't notice it at first but we both were crying staring at each other. I don't know how long we were like that but it felt like forever until something clicked inside of me like a switch. I wiped my face standing up on the side of my bed. I went over to where she stood, staring into her eyes the entire way, before pulling her into a kiss. It wasn't slow & sweet but fast & desperate.

I wanted her to know how I was feeling. I wanted her to feel how broken my heart was. How much I wanted her but I knew I couldn't while at the same time letting her know that I love her. This kiss was our goodbye. When I pulled away took her breath with me.

We both was left panting as we stared into each other's eyes. I smiled sadly at her, "We aren't meant to be right now but maybe when we're older. It hurts but I have to let you go, goodbye Tyler", I whispered before pecking her on the lips. She was still silently crying & pulled me to her into a hug like she didn't want to lose me. Me either Tyler but it's what's best for right now. We hugged for a few minutes until she was sniffling & whispered, "I'm sorry, goodbye", then left leaving me alone again to struggle with reining in my emotions & moving on.

«*cries* Nooo! Chris you hold on boo! It'll get better, I promise. Really, i'd moonwalked all over her ass. Be like 'An eye for an eye, bitch!'. Moving on, vote people. 2 more chapters & an Epilogue & it's a muthafucking rap. The last few chapters I promise it kind of just happened. I didn't plan for it go down that way but this is the direction I went in. Anyway, hope you have a good weekend. Deuces!»