The Worst Voltron Fanfiction

Chapter One: Yay Space

The cool futuristic door swooshes open, as Lancey McLovin sulks into some random castel room that he's never been in before, cause for real, they haven't even explored most of this big ol space ship yet.

"Oh how I miss the rain, and the ocean, and normal toilets that aren't meant for freaky aliens"
Lance dramatically, gazing through the huge glass wall, out towards the stars.

"Oh will I ever consume my Mama's spenlid Cuban food ever again?" He sulks, shredding a single tear.

Conveniently, Keithy walk in.
"Lancey boi, we need you to form Voltron." He says in failing attempt to comfort him.

"Please don't call me Lancey boi" He says, wiping away his tears. "I have self esteem issues, you wouldn't understand Keef...."

Keith just glances to the side. He wishes he could understand human feelings.

Lance suddenly turns to face him. "...Keef..?"

Keith's eyes widen.
"Um yeah?" He asks as Lance steps closer.

They were about to make physical contact, but Pidge walks in.

"Guys stop being GAY, Allura needs you for some mission thingy thats not important to the plot." She interupts.

"Oh Pidge," Lance shakes his head fondly. "always interuping ships, and calling people gay!" Lance chuckles.

"I HATE EVERYTHING." Keith crosses his arms over his "My Chemical Romance" T-shirt.

Pidge just ajusts he huge nerd glasses. And says. "Whatever nerds, I need to get back to curing cancer."
She yawns as she leaves, cause after all, she's a demon child who hasn't slept in two years.

*

Lance and Keith rush to the main room, taking a couple wrong turns, and awkwardly brushing hands a few times, they eventually arrive.

"LANCE, what took you so long you incapable goofball?!" Shiro yells, making everyone sad.

"What!? What about Keef?!?" He complains.

Shiro smiles, "Ah yes, come stand next to me Keith."

"Erguhafah whatever..." He straightens his cowboy hat.

Lance pouts.
Allura stares daggers at Keith, plotting his murder.
No quiznacking Galra steals HER man.

Pidge speaks up. "Hey can you shitheads stop being retarded?" She insalts.

"LUANGUAGE!" Shiro says sternly.

Pidge sighs.
"Can you shitheads stop being STUPID?" She corrects they're self.

"Yay space!" Matt states.

Keith turns on his boomboxes and starts blasting "Sincerely Me".
By now, everyone's forgotten what the meeting was for.

"Sigh" Allura says.

*

Its nighty time now, or at least what they set the castel lights to, cause there's no time in space.

Keithy wakes up from a spooky nightmare.

"Oh noes... I feel.... Conflicted.." he says with a hand on his gorgeous head.

He grabs his knife and runs towards the closest room to his,
Lance's room of course.

He kicks down the door.

"WHAT THE HEL-" Lance wakes up.

"LANCEY BOI I AM IN NEED OF COMFROMTING!" Keith starts towards him, arms out.