Sex in Sochi

Tae Kwon Judo

    Hodor Pasinsky squinted through the eyepiece of his extremely expensive camera. The zoom was set to manual, and he focused on the ring where the day's Tae Kwon Judo event would take place. He grunted and unconsciously gripped his knee. He was an up-and-coming star of Judo back when it was a separate event from Tae Kwon Do in the Summer Olympics. He was a great fighter, but then he took a kick to the knee. Ever since, he'd been struggling to make ends meet as a cameraman of sporting events, and the fact that he was covering a more prestigious event than the one he could have won was painful.

    The crack that lost him his kneecap sounded as fresh in his mind as when it happened. Hodor clenched his teeth and looked up from the eyepiece.

    "All set?" Abel Cannoway asked.

    "Yeah," he grunted back.

    "Good. Then let's do a couple run-throughs, shall we?"

    Hodor sighed and motioned the 'camera rolling' signal to get him started.

    Abel cleared his throat and read from his notes. "Welcome back to the Sex Olympics! Things are heating up in the world race for medals and I can assure you today's Tae Kwon Judo event will be one to look out for as many things may be shaken up. Let's do our quick history of the sport. When the organizers of the first Sex Olympics organized the games, they couldn't figure out which martial art they wanted to include. The Summer Olympics were in full swing at the time, and the 'crack heard round the world' as it's called now inspired the fusion of the two sports."

    Hodor cringed at the mention of the crack. Traumatic thoughts flooded his brain. He braced himself for the worst.

    Abel looked up to give Hodor a smirk and continued, "Kwon Yu-Kwon of Korea was kicked so hard that he flew across his ring and onto the Judo competition's mat. At the same time, Hodor Pasinsky of the United States had been taken down by his opponent at Judo. When they both rose, Yu-Kwon was too disoriented to realize that Hodor was not his opponent and let off a fierce kick. The injury sidelined Hodor from ever competing again, unfortunately, but he will always be an American hero."

    Abel stopped and folded his notes into his pocket. Hodor gave him a weak grimace.

    "Why so glum, chum? You're famous! And a hero to boot! Smile a little."

    Hodor huffed out a forced smile.

    Abel shook his head and sighed. "Well, you want to do another run-through with the camera this time?"

    "I need to pee," Hodor said. "The frame is set up, though." He signaled for Abel to rehearse again and walked away.

    The bathrooms were on the left, but he made his way to the press room on the right. His flask was already empty, so a refill was in order. The room was stocked with water and punch and horrible tasting wine. The good beer was gone. Hodor grunted and filled his flask with white wine. He gulped it down and filled it again.

    This was going to be a long event for him, but he did not want to risk chugging one more full flask. He slowly made his way back to Abel who was finishing up his explanations of the rules.

    "... and whichever player loses will have a board broken over their penis."

    Hodor took his place behind the camera. He checked his watch: two minutes to air. He signaled to Abel, who nodded.

    "How's the lighting? Is the viewing angle wide enough? I need this to be perfect."

    Hodor narrowed his eyes. It was the same routine with the same demands from Abel that he had to deal with everyday. Today was one day he didn't want to deal with it, though. He grabbed the tripod without a word and pulled to roll it back, but the wheel seemed stuck.

    "Is everything okay?" Abel asked.

    "Just caught on something."

    "Let me see." Abel put his hands on the tripod as well and gave it a quick push. Hodor had no time to stop him, and the tripod tilted over. One of the wheels went flying across the ground, but Hodor jumped to catch the camera before it hit the ground.

    Abel sighed. "That was a close call."

    Hodor grunted at him. He picked up the camera and slowly stood it up without any of the wheels.

    "We can do it without the wheel, right?" Abel asked.

    Hodor checked his watch and scowled. One minute. He looked around the floor to find the wheel.

    "Look for it later, we don't have time."

    A scream went up and a large crashing sound filled the area. The wheel had landed behind the Costa Rican team and one of them had tripped on it and fallen into a pile of broken boards with sharp splinters.

    Abel and Hodor exchanged worried looks. "We should go," Abel said, ushering Hodor to pack as quickly as possible.

    A member of the Costa Rican team marched to the Canadian team with the wheel in his hand. He accused the maple-lovers of sabotaging their chances for the win. The Canadians did not take the accusation well.

    Hodor and Abel finished packing within a minute.

    Shouts from the Canadians grew louder, and Costa Rican ones joined in. Soon it was a full-blown shouting match. Hands were flying everywhere and upon the slightest touch of skin to skin, a fierce naked fight broke out. Officials rushed in to stop them.

    Abel and Hodor swiftly walked to the other end of the space. On the way, they passed by Alexandra Belli and her cameraman. She gave them a wink and a thumbs up and started reporting on the breaking news.

    "This was her," Abel said quietly but full of malice.