There's a sadness in me,
I can't explain.
Today is a copy_paste of yesterday,
But yesterday I was so happy .
I scribbled lyrics for my new song,
And dreamt performing on stage.
Today my head is heavy,
So I just stare at the ground.
Is it something I heard in a movie?
Or is it that every damn day reminds me that how I picture it is not how life paints it?
Am scared that history will put whiteout on my story .
Am not good enough,
Everyone I want to be like was already them even before sixteen.
I thought maybe instagram would help me like myself .
Maybe twitter would help me follow my dreams.
I know a thousand people who'd be doing better than me,
So why the fuck did these dreams pick me?
Why does poetry cuff my wrists and lyrics float across my lips?
Why do they make me dream,
And wake up to reality?
Am ashamed of my dreams,
Maybe because when they become true,
I will still dream .
Frustration makes me scream.
But am lonely.
I wish there was someone who could read my mind.
My mind already fell into the abyss,
Now my body,
Is caving in.
Should I cut,
Just to bleed the pain away?
Or pop a pill,
Just to drain the dark cloud of rain?
Maybe am chasing my past too much.
Because then,
In flickers of time,
I felt infernos of love.
There were people to share sunset with.
Now,
In this ocean of time,
Am torn apart by sharks of hate. My beautiful past,
Is too many yesterdays away .
And if tomorrow is a continuation of today,
Then Fuck it,
Where did you say the gun was? OK, even a rope will do.
_screams. of. the. deranged _
Elliepoet
#depression
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