Can't Believe It

"Momma?" Chapter 4

     Someone is shaking me, viciously. 

Oh my god....no...not again. No. No. NOOOO!

I open my eyes and don't think twice of pinning the person and forming my hand into a fist. I see him there smiling at me, viciously. He has that mischievous smirk. I am about to make contact when I hear...

"NO! TAYLOR!"

I adjust my eyes and close to make sure I am awake fully. I look down and see Judy blocking her face. I swear I saw him. I haven't done anything like this only on...

"Oh. No." I think out loud. 

I run down to my kitchen and go straight to my calendar. June 2. It's...it's...the day of my mother's disappearance from my life. Also my father's......release. 

I have these nightmares or episodes when it is the day of my mother's disappearance each year. I have had them ever since she left. I don't know why it's a vision of my dad. I have no idea. I would think it would be of her and one of the many memories we have shared. But no. It's of my dad. Ever since he got locked up for robbing a bank and ALMOST getting away with it, they have gotten worse. I wish they would stop. I can't believe he is getting out today. That bastard should be locked up forever. Things would be different but that blame is on me. I didn't go to the police when I had the chance.

Wow. Dumbass.

I still regret it. I am probably going to regret it for the rest of my life. 

I feel someone's hand on my shoulder and I almost go for another sucker punch. 

"Jesus Judy." I unclench my hand and I hug her. 

I am so on edge today. It's like I know something going to happen. I know it is. I can feel it.

I hold on to Judy's fragile and petite body. I don't know what I would be doing if she wasn't with me. 

I don't realize I have tears in my eyes until Judy wiped them away.

"You, okay?" I shake my head and lay it back on her shoulder. 

"Talk to me." I stay silent. I just don't want to talk about that right now.

"I will talk to later about it." She just nods her head and moves past the subject.

"So, you want me to make waffles?" She asks as she makes this stupid face with a smirk. I know what waffles she talking about. They really aren't regular waffles they are, as she say, RAINBOW WAFS. These things are the best diabetic, heart attack, digestive system mutilating goodness you will ever have. She takes cookies dough as the waffle, cookies and cream ice cream as the whip cream and chocolate syrup with rainbow sprinkles as the final touch. I know that you will gain, at least, 7.5 pounds looking at it because it is made with not 1. Not 2. Not even 3. But 4 fucking waffles. EACH PERSON!! Now tell me that is not just a death wish right there. 

It's a damn good one though.

"Hell yeahhh!" I scream at her. She jumps up and down. We haven't had them in a while I don't know why though.

She starts taking out all the ingredients. We turn on some music totally forgetting that a child is in the other room. "Mommy?"

Speak of the devil.

"Why are y'all so loud? It's so early." He says groggily, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Although the sassiness in his voice still visible. I pick him up swiftly.

I chuckle at him. "You know it's great to get up early so you can spend more time with mommy."

"But I don't want to spend more time with mommy, I want to spend more time with my bed." I gasp with my eyes big as balls. Judy is gasping for air and I can clearly see tears in her eyes from laughing at his comment. He is just staring at me like....I'm not kidding. 

Okay then. I put him down on that note.

"Breakfast is done!" I see Avery's eyes almost pop out of his sockets when he realized what we were having. 

"Are we having JuJu's wafs?" He asks excitedly and visibly jumping up and down. It's also such a cute nickname for Judy.

"Ye-" he squeals before I can get the whole word out my mouth, hell.

I make my way to the table and as soon as I sit down...

Ring! Ring!

"FUUUCK!" 

"Oooo mommy just dropped the F-bomb! Jar!" Dammit. There goes another 5 dollars.

I make my way to the phone

"Hello?" I don't know who would be calling me. To be honest. Serinity haven't talked to me because she is on vacation and-

My thoughts were interrupted by heavy breathing.

"Who is this?" My thoughts filled with mixed feelings.

The breathing gotten harder.

"Who is this?!" Frustration building.

It suddenly stopped.

The phone went dead.

Who the fu- I know this is not them again.

I let it ring because I didn't want to deal with whoever was on the other line having such a mid-life crisis that they can't even talk. It finally stopped ringing. I put it back down and return back to the table. 

"Who was on the phone?" I shrugged my shoulders taking my first bite of my waffles.

"I have no clue. All I know is that they have some hot ass breath on th- REALLY!?" The phone rings once again.

I walk over to the phone and pick it up furious and annoyed as hell.

"Look! Whoever the FU-"

"Temper, temper. I thought you would be glad that you have me back." He says so low in his devilish voice. The memories, real life nightmares are coming back to haunt me in one huge tsunami. Flooding me. Drowning me.

He chuckles at my silence. "Your dreams are coming true. I see that you and the little bundle of joy are having an amazing life with your girlfriend."

I can't believe this is happening. I still haven't said a word or made a noise. I feel like I haven't taken a breath.

"Still so silent," he chuckles cynically, "why don't you say hey to your love and war?"

"Hey sweetheart."

"Mom..." I finally say, breathless.

"Yes, that is your mother and all of her worthless glory. She said she misses you and loves you. Ha! Both of us know that she is lying on that. Who would want something as rubbish as you?"

It's been so long since he has done this to me. So long since he has said those words before he took my worthiness with him. He took what I only had. He didn't think twice about it. He changed. He changed into a monster that not even the demons that surround me could ever dream of. 

"I heard that you changed baby girl or should I even call you that anymore? So disgusting. Disgrace. We raised a BOY all this time, did we honey?"

"Sweetheart I LOVE YOU for WHO yo- AHHH!" She screams through the phone.

"MOM!" I scream out to her.

"No one will love you as much as I did. Your mother is going to be nice and cozy.....in her coffin. Right next to yours....with our son."

The phone went dead.