Can't Believe It

"How?" Chapter 5

Come on, Taylor...

Taylor

Taylor...Please 

Get your ass up, god

I start to gain consciousness. I can hear someone calling me. It's so quiet lower than a whisper. I feel a shake coursing through my body but I'm not fully aware of what's going on.

You leave me no choice. All of a sudden I feel...

SLAP!

I jot right up holding my right cheek bone. I see Judy almost in tears.

SHIT, that hurt like hell.

I moved my jaw a little to see if it's still functionable. She might be a small petite woman but she has fucking strength of Andre the Giant on a good day.

I look at her with bug eyes. Still holding jaw from the pain she just unleashed.

"OWW!" I finally say. I look at her then I remember what happened. I was on the phone with my father...and he has my mother. I don't know what the fuck is happening. I am confused, afraid, and furious. I burst out in tears.

Judy holds me tight and rocks me side to side. I am shaking, vigorously. I am sobbing my eyes out. How? He just got out. JUST got out. Those memories are implanted in my head. They never left and I know, after this, they are definitely not going to be easy to outrun. I tried so hard to escape him. I tried to escape all those memories he bestowed onto me. He never should be able to breathe after the torture he put me through. That's why I left. That's why I am the way I am. He is the reason I don't trust. I don't trust people with me, my son, or anything that is going to mean something to my well-being. I know I sound selfish. Right now I could give on fucking fuck. I seriously don't know what I am going to do. So many sacrifices, beatings, blood, heartaches, and shit to just get away from that bastard!

He raped me more than once. Or twice. Or even three times.... I lost count. They all started when I was crying rivers when my mom just left...

FLASHBACK

Why did she leave me? WHY? I love her so much. I just want an answer. She hasn't been here for a week. She had tears and more tears just streaming down her face. The look in her eyes were just horrible. She looked so lost and hopeless like this was a decision she HAD to make. She looked so sad, angry, and...relieved. It was hard to see the relief part but I found it. I know she didn't want to do it. I know she didn't. She couldn't have wanted to do it. Leave her child just like that. Like a drop of a hat. Just up and say that she has to leave here. Why didn't she take me with her? Why did she leave me with my dad?

I HATE HER! I HATE HERRR! 

I was looking at the one of my favorite picture frames of me and her. I was on her back while she had these funny and gigantic glasses on. Her smile was so beautiful. She was beautiful. We were looking at each other. We had a bond. A bond that could never be broken. Well.....so I thought couldn't.

I suddenly became enraged by the photo and threw it against my bedroom door. I put my head between my knees and continued my weeping. 

My father burst threw my door with a smirk I have never seen before. His eyes were dark and his smile was no longer a lovable one. I sat on my bed frozen. 

"Hi, Dad. H-How are you?" I finally say after gathering my thoughts of the disaster in front of me.

He starts unbuckling his pants, slowly. 

What is he doing?

His eyes never left my body. He licked his chapped lips while looking at my body, repulsive.