I lifted my head off of the window when Beyonce had finally pulled up into my nmother's driveway. She looked over at me and nudged me.
"Aye, wake up." She said. I sat up and looked at her with a twisted face.
" I know you know I wasn't sleep." I said. She took the keys out of the ignition before speaking.
"How do you know that I know you wasn't sleeping? Onika you are never quiet in a car for that long." She said. I began to speak but she got out the car and closed the door before I could. I hugged getting out and she walked passed me grabbing my hand in the process. I walked to the door with her and started to ring the doorbell but Beyonce started banging her fist on the door like a caveman.
"Beyonce would you quit it! People are trying to sleep!" I whispered harshly. She yanked her hand out of mine and walked to the car. I swear she is soooo extra. I can't even deal with her sometimes. Seconds later my mother was at the door holding my daughter as she looked at me with red eyes.
"Mommyyyy!!" She cried reaching her little hands out for me. I grabbed her kissing both of her cheeks and wiped her face.
"Why you crying?" I asked. She stuck her face in my neck. I looked up at my mother.
"She's been crying since I called ya." She responded.
"Um well you kinda scared the shit out of her when you hit her. Bey and I don't even hit her. Keep your hands off my damn child." I said rubbing Zoe's back. I could feel her breathing slowing down letting me know she was falling asleep.
"What the fuck is taking you so goddamn long?" Beyonce asked as she walked up the pavement. I turned to look at her and ignored her.
"Where's Carter and Ashely?" I questioned. Bey grabbed Zoe from me and I almost yanked away but remembered she was my baby and not an object.
"Next time you ask." I said looking at her.
"Girl bye. This my child as much as she is yours." She said walking away. I sighed.
"Are y'all eva on da same page?" My mother asked. I scuffed.
"Are we on the same page with you not touching my daughter anymore?" I questioned. She nodded.
"Yes chile, now go I'll keep the Otha two, they actually listen to me." She said closing the door. I held my tongue and decided to let it go and walked back to the car.
"Where the other two?" Bey question as Ashely laid cuddled up into her chest in the drivers seat.
"They stayin, and I hope you not driving with my baby in your lap like that." I said. She put her seat on over the both of them as she started the car up.
"She fine, get in." She said. I got in reluctantly and put my seatbelt on. She started driving and I kept a close eye on the both of them.
**
When we got home Ashely was out like a light. We put her in her room and since we practically were home alone with no distractions at the moment, I wanted to talk to Beyonce about our relationship. She was sitting on the couch with wide eyes watching tv so I knew she wasn't tired, which was her usual excuse.
"Baby we gottah talk." I said tightening my silk robe and started putting my hair up. She tore her eyes from the tv and looked at me as I sat beside her with crossed legs.
"About what?" She questioned.
"You don't think we need to talk about anything?" I asked she sucked her teeth and I pointed at her.
"See that right there is one of the reasons we need to talk." I said.
"Nic I don't talk, we can either ignore this shit or you talk and I'll pretend to listen as always." She said. I nodded looking off as she went back to the tv. I tucked my lips in trying to prevent my bottom lip from quivering as the tears began to burn the backs of my eyes. Once the first tear finally fell it was as if it gave the rest permission to follow. I was silently crying and Beyonce had yet to notice. She finally turned around to look for the remote and caught my eyes and shook her head.
"Nah, don't even start this Nic." She said looking at me. I continued to look off as I tried to contain myself. I hated crying but I get so easily hurt to where I can't help it.
"Nic." She said. I placed my hand over my face shaking my head and started sniffing as I cried harder.
"Nicki." She said. Her voice more softer now. I felt hot all of a sudden as I always did when I cried. Beyonce tugged at my hands.
"Stop crying, we can talk if you really want to." She said trying to look at me between the spaces of my fingers.
"B-But you d-don-.." I continued to cry and eventually started hyperventilating. It wasn't anything serious I was just really hurt. I felt myself being lifted from the couch and removed my hands to see Beyonce holding me as she walked up the stairs. I held on to her and stuffed my face in her neck silently crying to myself now. She sat down on the bed and I continued to sit in her lap. She turned me around to face her as she sat up against the headboard and had me straddling her.
"Talk." She said. I shook my head no. I didn't want to talk anymore if she felt force to talk to me. If I wasn't crying right now she'd be downstairs still watching tv.
"Onika." She says sternly.
"Why d-do you wanna talk now?" I asked. She looked at me rubbing my upper thigh.
"Because I hate seeing you cry and if you really want to talk we can talk. I didn't know it was bothering you like that." She said.
"But it shouldn't matter. If I tell my wife-
"Husband." She corrected. I sighed. Not the fuckin time.
"If I tell you I wanna talk to you it is your job to hear what I have to say. It shouldn't matter what's it about. If you ever wanted to talk about anything I'd hear you out in a quick second. If you came and was like hey, let's talk about how green the sky is, even tho I know the sky isn't green I would still go along with talking to you about it because I care about your thoughts and feelings. Do you even care about mine?" I asked. ____________________________
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