Beyonce's POV
L.A. California
September 16
12:58pm
Nicki sat on my lap as I calmed down. My heart had been beating out of my chest for the past few minutes as I thought about my mother. She was a good woman, a dangerous one, but she was good.
"You okay baby? Wanna talk about it?" Nicki asked lowly. I shook my head no. I wasn't ready to talk to her about my mother just yet, especially not about the good times we had, I don't want her thinking Ima bitch when and if I cry. She had my head close to her boobs. I took small licks at them and she slapped me.
"Really Beyonce?" She asked. I shrugged moping. She sighed and hugged me.
"Bey, I don't like this. You can't keep all this in, I'm here for you and I don't ever want you to think I'm not. What's the point of having me as your wife if you don't feel comfortable telling me things." Nicki asked. I looked up at her and she stared me back in the eyes.
"This is different-
"How so Beyonce?" Nicki asked crossing her arms under her chest. I shrugged and she got off of my lap.
"I don't want you thinking of me differently after I tell you." I said.
"Baby I'm not. I wouldn't judge you or think more or less of you." She said. I nodded and sighed. Here goes nothing.
"What are you trying to hear first?" I mumbled. She sat on the table in front of me.
"I want to hear all of it." She said. I nodded.
"Well when I was born everything had been good. I was a happy baby and my mother and father where both happy parents. After Lauren was born things started to change. My mother started drifting away from me and focused all of her attention on Lo. I didn't like her for that. I used to do all kinds of shit to her things without her knowing. I would put hair removal in her shampoo and she would think her hair loss was because of the stress. A few years down the line they had solo. That's when shit got dirty. My father was drunk all the time and my mother was acting a bitch. We were strung for money and every night my dad would leave for "business trips" and wouldn't come back until the next morning. My mother accused him of cheating and he would come home loaded. After a while I started to catch onto what he was doing after he got arrested for human trafficking. Lo and I were abandoned mentally as solo went on to be mommy's little girl. It was if she got tired of the older children and only wanted to focus on the younger ones." I said. Nicki looked at me worrisomely.
"Baby I'm so sorry-
"Damn Ian even get to the worst part and your already apologizing." I chuckled forcefully trying to hide the hurt in my voice. I was on the verge of tears and Nicki was oblivious.
"What you mean worst part?" She asked. I bit at my lower lip.
"My mother and father eventually divorced and were force to coparent. In the beginning, I learned to forgive my father and let him back in my life. I trusted him again and I opened up to him. He ended up taking something I valued the most but didn't realize till I was sixteen, after that I hated going to my fathers house, I blamed my mother for every thing that happened at his house. She should have been there to protect me! No one knew the things that happened to me while I was there and I never planned on telling them. I was too embarrassed." I said. Nicki looked at me as I went into story mode.
*flashback*
I laid in my bed wide awake as I waited on my father to come and tuck me in. He knocked on my door and I smiled a toothy smile.
"Come in daddy!" I yelled.
"Is that my princess I hear? Why is she still awake?" His voice rang from the opposite side of the door as I giggled.
