Pride and Pretenses. (Dramione)

Chapter 26

Hermione looked into Harry's eyes, seeing nothing but concern. She didn't know what to do. She was tired of lying to him and he was right. She should give him a chance. Given everything that just happened she wanted to give in, to tell him everything. He had a right to know didn't he?
Hermione took a deep breath. "Harry, I – "
"Hermione!" Ginny exclaimed as she walked walked into the Common Room to find two people there. "We were so worried about you," Ginny said as she gave Hermione a hug. "Merlin Hermione!" she exclaimed as she pulled away and noticed Hermione's clothes. "Where have you been hiding that cute butt all this time?!" Hermione looked at her blankly. "And that top! It's absolutely gorgeous on you – why don't you ever wear it?"
"Ginny," Harry said wearily.
"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?"
"Yeah," Harry replied. "Hermione was just about to tell us where she was this morning."
But Ginny's interruption had broken the spell. It had given Hermione a much needed wake-up call. Despite everything between them, there's no way Hermione can tell Harry the truth about Draco – a lot of it wasn't even her story to tell. But she was sick of lying to Harry. So she decided to give him the truth – just not the one he was looking for.
The Common Room became busier as people started to head down for breakfast.
"Can we talk somewhere else?" Hermione asked.
"Sure," Harry replied.
They made their way to an abandoned classroom which Harry proceeded to secure with locking and silencing spells. They sat down on the desks. Harry and Ginny looked at Hermione expectantly.
"I..." Hermione hesitated. "You have to promise not to interrupt me until I've finished the whole story."
"We promise," said Harry.
"I was visiting Cedric's memorial," Hermione stated.
"Why – "
"Because I was in love with him," Hermione interrupted.
Ignoring their shocked faces, she took a deep breath and proceeded to tell them about her past relationship with Cedric.
"Why didn't you tell me any of this before?" Harry asked when Hermione finished her story.
"Did you not listen to a word I said? Everyone – "
"I'm not everyone," Harry insisted. "I'm your best friend and aside from all that, do you really think I would've cared? That I would've thought that you were 'fraternizing with the enemy' as you so eloquently pointed out? I trust you Hermione, I know you would never betray me like that." Hermione inwardly cringed at Harry's last statement. "Besides, Cedric was a good guy. I can see you guys being good together. You can't help who you fall in love with and the situation was hardly anyone's fault. I thought you had more trust in me than that."
"I know Harry. I'm sorry." And she was. A part of her felt guilty about lying to them again but another part of her was happy that they now knew about Cedric. Telling Draco was one thing, but finally telling Harry after all these years felt like a huge weight off her shoulders. It felt like the final step in fully letting go of that part of her past.
"I'm sorry you had to go through all that alone," Harry said, as he and Ginny gave Hermione a hug.
"It's all in the past now," Hermione replied.
Suddenly, Harry's stomach grumbled breaking the somber mood. The girls laughed.
"I think we should get to the Great Hall before they stop serving breakfast," Hermione said with a laugh, looking at her watch.
When Harry made his way out the door, Ginny pulled Hermione back.
"I'm sorry about what happened with you and Cedric but – " Ginny hesitated. Hermione looked at her questioningly. "Don't take this the wrong way but you sure are dressed nicely for walking across Hogwarts grounds. I mean, maybe, you wanted to dress up for him and – "
Hermione could tell that something was plaguing Ginny's mind and that she didn't fully believe her. She had to stop her before she got closer to the truth.
"Oh," Hermione said, trying to dismiss her fears with a laugh. "I got up really early and you know how dazed I am in the morning. I just grabbed whatever was in my trunk without realizing what it was." She grinned sheepishly. "Come on, Harry will be wondering where we went."
oOoOoOoOoOo
"Draco!"
Draco had barely turned around when Hermione launched herself into his arms and kissed him deeply on the lips.
"Well, hello to you too," Draco said when they finally broke apart.
"Eww kissing," Sophie said at the same time.
Hermione laughed. "Hi Sophie," she greeted, reaching out from Draco's arms to give her a hug.
"Drake, can I go watch a movie?" Sophie asked after Hermione let her go.
"Sure Izzy, but only half. Then you have to go to bed."
"Ok," Sophie said running off into her room.
"Though I certainly wouldn't mind more of those, I take it there's a reason for the excited entrance?" Draco asked pulling Hermione over to the couch.
A few weeks had passed since their first date and since then, Draco and Hermione found themselves spending as much time as they could together in Sophie's suite. Any time they could get away, they would go to the villa in France and spend some time there. Draco had offered to take Hermione to other places but she declined. She knew how difficult it was for him to arrange portkeys and find suitable locations where they wouldn't be recognized. Because of the need for secrecy, every detail had to be planned out and with the increasing workload at school they just didn't have time to do all that. Besides, it's not like Hermione hated going to the villa. On the contrary, she always looked forward to their next visit and she never wanted to leave. The villa itself was gorgeous but the view was absolutely breathtaking. Nestled in the Alps on the French/Swiss border, the villa afforded a view that never failed to leave Hermione in awe. It reminded her of the Sound of Music, with snow-capped mountains, rolling green valleys and wildflowers dotting the landscape. Hermione didn't mind the view inside and the things they did there either.
As soon as she and Draco sat down, Hermione stood up again, unable to keep still.
"I got in!" Hermione squealed excitedly, waving a piece of parchment in front of Draco.
"That's amazing! Congratulations!" Draco said, a huge smile breaking out over his face as he stood up to give Hermione another kiss.
Much to Genevieve's chagrin, a few days after Hermione's first date with Draco, Hermione received a letter from the Department of Foreign and External Affairs telling her that the situation had been sorted out and inviting her to an interview for the internship. Though she was extremely nervous, the interview must have gone well as Hermione received her letter of acceptance this morning during breakfast in the Great Hall.
Hermione was just about to leave the Great Hall when owls swooped in carrying the morning mail. Not expecting anything for herself, Hermione was surprised when one of the owls landed in front of her. After untying the letter, Hermione was stunned to find the Ministry seal on the back.
"This is it," she thought. She sat down in an effort to calm herself and with shaking hands she broke the seal.
Dear Ms. H. Granger,
It is our pleasure to inform you –
Hermione clutched the letter to her chest, screaming excitedly on the inside. There was no way this was happening! She quickly read the rest of the letter just to make sure.
....internship...Department of Foreign and External Affairs...starting this summer...living in our residences...London...continuing after you graduate...
Hermione read the letter over and over and over again, her smile growing wider with each word. Finally satisfied with the reality of the letter's contents, Hermione looked up only to find Genevieve watching her with narrowed eyes, clutching a similar looking piece of parchment. In a manner that would've made Draco proud, Hermione smirked in Genevieve's direction, causing the latter to huff and turn her head away with an angry swish of her hair.
Hermione couldn't wait to tell Draco the news so she started to stand up when she heard Genevieve's voice.
"So Harry," Genevieve was saying, shooting Hermione an impetuous look. "I was thinking – how would you and Ginny like to go on a double date with me and Ron this weekend?" Genevieve emphasized the word 'date' making it clear that Hermione was not invited. Hermione scoffed inwardly. If Genevieve only knew how much she really couldn't care less.
"Actually, there's a muggle movie Hermione and I have been dying to see for ages," Harry said, surprising Hermione. She didn't know what movie he was talking about but hey, who was she to argue? "And," Harry continued. "Ginny wants Hermione to help her pick out a dress for the Leaving Ball so we'll be doing that too." Harry looked at Hermione for confirmation.
"Yeah," Hermione confirmed. She smiled sweetly at Genevieve. "We would've invited you but we know you guys aren't that interested in muggle things. You'd probably just be bored."
"And I know you have all your dresses custom-made by designers," Ginny added, hiding a smile. She never liked Genevieve anyway so she was all for this plan. "So I thought you would hate looking around the common shops with me."
The three then stood up and made their way to class leaving Ron and Genevieve gaping after them.
"So, what movie are we watching?" Hermione asked teasingly once they were out of the Great Hall.
Harry grinned back. It's not that he hated Genevieve but he took what Hermione said to heart and he thought this was a good opportunity to spend some time with her without Genevieve between them. Besides, he really didn't like the way the other girl was clearly excluding Hermione with her plan. "I have no idea."
"I wish I could've seen her face," Draco said once Hermione finished her story.
"It was priceless. I wish Colin Creevey was there to take a picture," Hermione laughed. She stopped, remembering something. "I know we were planning to go to the villa on Saturday – "
"Don't worry about it," Draco reassured her. "As much as it pains me to admit it, I know I'm not the only important person in your life." He pulled her close.
"Hmm," Hermione murmured against his chest. "You're definitely in the top ten though."
"Top Ten? That's it?" Draco asked. He pulled Hermione's face up to kiss her.
"Well, maybe top five," Hermione conceded when they broke apart.
"You wound me," Draco said with a pout.
"Well, how about I make it up to you?" Hermione whispered, brushing her lips softly against his.
"Yeah?" Draco murmured in response. "How are you going to do that?"
"I hear now's a good time to visit France."
"Sophie!" Draco called, reaching for the watch on the fireplace. "Have Dobby come help you get ready for bed ok? If you have any problems, tell him to call Uncle Sev. I'll see you tomorrow! Good night!"
oOoOoOoOoOo
Hermione walked down the hallway with a smile on her face. Yesterday had definitely been a good day. She had almost forgotten how much fun Harry and Ginny could be. They spent the whole day in Muggle London seeing the sights, going to the shops and markets, hanging out in Hyde Park – all without mentioning or thinking about Voldemort, the war, and the rest of the wizarding world once. To the casual observer, they looked like three normal teenagers out to have some fun on a Saturday. Hermione thought that the break did Harry some good too. He seemed considerably lighter than she had seen him in ages. Ginny, herself had a ball at seeing so many things she had never seen before. When Ginny and Harry weren't looking, Hermione bought a shirt that had the iconic "Underground" symbol of London's subway system for Draco. She thought it could work as a statement for the Slytherin dungeons but more importantly, she just wanted to see if he would go into anaphylactic shock if Merlin forbid, cheap cotton touched his skin.
She had gotten back late and she and Draco had agreed not to see each other until the next day to minimize the risk of arousing suspicion. Luckily, Ginny wanted to go back the next day and see more of the sights they missed so Hermione suggested that she and Harry make it a date, leaving Hermione free to meet Draco.
Hermione smiled when she opened the door to Sophie's suite.
"Hey, I –" The next thing she was about to say was cut off when she noticed Draco on the couch with his head in his hands. She walked over and knelt beside him. "Hey, what's wrong?" she asked softly.
Upon hearing her voice, Draco immediately put his arms around her, enveloping her in a hug. Hermione held him silently for a few moments, their breaths the only sound in the room. She grew worried.
"Draco, you're scaring me," Hermione whispered.
Draco slowly pulled away, allowing Hermione to sit beside him. "I'm sorry," he said, turning towards her.
When their eyes met, Hermione's heart felt like breaking. His eyes that were normally vibrant and fiery when he looked at her, were now melancholy and almost empty. His already pale skin looked whiter, almost as if he's seen a ghost, or even, death itself.
Hermione reached out to gently cup his face in her hands. He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. "What happened?" Hermione asked. "Where's Sophie? Is she ok?"
Draco opened his eyes and turned his face to kiss her hand.
"She's ok. Snape is coming in a minute to look after her," he replied, removing her hand from his face and holding it with his hand. "Can we go somewhere to talk?"
"Sure," she replied standing up with him. She was surprised when he led her over to a window where his broom was waiting.
"I'm sorry. I know you hate flying and we could go to the villa but I just need to – "
Hermione pulled his face down and kissed him with all she had. "Whatever you need," she whispered. She walked over to the broom and mounted it.
Draco stared after her. "You're amazing you know that?" he said as he climbed on behind her.
Despite her willingness to get on a broom for Draco, she still didn't like to fly so as always, Hermione turned around and buried her face in his chest and held him tight as they flew out into the sky. Draco didn't mind at all.
The ride was silent leaving Hermione time to think. She didn't know what could've happened to cause such a change in Draco. The fact that she could feel him shaking in her arms did not help to ease her worry. Finally, she felt them start to descend until her feet touched solid ground. When she looked up, she recognized the place by the river where they had their first kiss. His secret spot. Wordlessly, Draco made his way over to the flat boulder they usually sat on. Hermione had no choice but to follow him.
They sat in silence for a while just watching the river go by. Though she was worried, Hermione didn't want to press him. She knew he would tell her when he was ready.
"My father visited me yesterday," Draco said, breaking the silence. Hermione turned to him. "He came for a Board of Governors meeting then he took me to lunch. He told me he asked Dumbledore to let me come home for a couple of days." He looked at Hermione. "He wants me to get the Dark Mark. I'm coming home for my initiation."
Hermione gasped. "When?"
"Tomorrow."
Hermione remained silent. She was shocked. She knew that he might be asked to become a DeathEater one day but she didn't think it would be so soon. She held on to the hope that the war would be over before that had to happen or that they would at least find some way out of it.
"Listen, I completely understand if you don't want – "
"Don't even think about finishing that sentence," Hermione interrupted fiercely. She held his face and locked her eyes with his. "I am NOT going to leave you, understand?"
Draco closed the distance between them and kissed Hermione fervently. He tried to put all the words he wanted to say into that kiss – how much he needed her, how grateful he was to have her, how terrified he was about the future, how much he hated his father for putting him in this position, and how much he loved her.
They broke apart breathing heavily. Draco kept his arms around her as she leaned her head against his shoulder. A few moments later Hermione spoke.
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know," Draco sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I don't really have much choice."
Hermione looked up. "You always have a choice. You could go to Dumbledore."
Draco looked at her sadly. "Not if I want to keep Sophie and my mother safe," he said, reaching to tuck Hermione's hair behind her ear. "I talked to Snape about it yesterday. There's not much I can do other than bide my time and do what I need to do in the meantime."
"How long will you be gone?" Hermione asked.
"Two, maybe three, days. Initiation is a big ceremony. Then I'll need a day or two to...recover..." They both looked down at his unmarked left arm. "Apparently everyone has to stay for the first couple of days," Draco continued softly. "It's so that they will not gain suspicion when their left arm is non-functional because of the...pain." Hermione took his left hand in hers and caressed his arm before entwining their fingers together, marveling at how well they fit.
"I wish I could do something. I wish I could be there to help you."
"No." Draco said sharply. "I don't want you anywhere near that sick bastard."
Whether he was talking about Voldemort or his father, Hermione wasn't sure.
oOoOoOoOoOo
The next three days were absolutely agonizing for Hermione. She tried to keep up appearances for Harry and Ginny and she tried to keep a brave face for Sophie but inside she was a mess. Draco was in her thoughts every minute and she flinched every time someone entered the room, dreading bad news. It didn't help that she didn't hear from him nor could she contact him herself. She just had to trust that Narcissa would somehow let them know if something terrible had happened. For his part, Snape seemed to understand what she was going through. He seemed distracted in Potions classes and she could see her worry mirrored in his eyes every time they met.
On the third night, she was just getting ready to transfigure the couch after putting Sophie to bed when Draco walked into the suite. She immediately went over to him and put her arms around him. She was a little alarmed when he only halfheartedly returned the hug, but she chalked it up to stress.
"How are you feeling?" she asked pulling him onto the couch. She looked at his face and was disturbed by his eyes. She saw such profound sadness and desperation but what distressed her the most was that she only saw it for a fleeting moment. He quickly put his walls up and his eyes turned hard and cold. She hadn't seen him shut her out like that in a long time. She tried to maintain her courage and calm. "You must be exhausted. Do you want some tea?" She started to walk towards the kitchen when he pulled on her arm to stop her.
She looked down at his arm questioningly and that's when she saw it. The Dark Mark. It was the most hideous thing she had ever seen. It was dark and black, not unlike a tattoo, of a skull with a snake protruding out of its mouth. Hermione had a flashback of the horrible incident at the Quidditch World Cup. What made it more horrifying was that it looked like it had been burned onto Draco's arm, like branding on cattle. Hermione resisted the urge to turn away from it.
Draco watched her as she stared at the Mark. He hated it with his whole being. He hated that someone as pure as her had to see something so horrifying. He hated that it had to be him. Seeing her disgust at his arm hurt more than getting the Mark itself. She was definitely going to hate him now. Well, that's what he wanted wasn't it?
"Draco Malfoy," Voldemort's snake-like voice hissed. "Step forward."
Draco slowly made his way to the centre of the circle where Voldemort waited on a high-backed chair.
"Look Narcissa," he heard his Aunt Bellatrix cackle. "Look at the honour being bestowed upon him. Be proud."
Draco resisted the urge to turn toward his aunt's voice and look for his mother in the crowd of hooded DeathEaters. Even if he knew where she was, he couldn't bear to look at her and he sure as hell hoped that she wasn't watching him either. His mother had gone through enough.
"Kneel," Voldemort commanded. Draco obeyed. "Do you pledge allegiance to the cause and swear loyalty to me and me alone?"
Hermione's face flashed in Draco's mind. "Yes, my lord."
"Are you ready and willing to give your life up for the cause?"
Hermione laughing. "Yes, my lord."
"Are you willing to surrender everything and anything to follow my commands without question?"
Hermione breathless after they kiss. "Yes, my lord."
"Do you swear to put me and my welfare above all else, including your own life?"
Hermione sleeping in his arms. "Yes, my lord."
"Draco," Voldemort said, forcing the young man to look up and meet his eyes. Draco focused on the room and nothing else, blocking his mind as Snape taught him to do. "Very well," Voldemort said after a few moments, seemingly satisfied with his search. "Take this Mark with pride."
Draco felt his left arm start to rise without his control. When it was fully extended toward him, Voldemort placed his wand on Draco's arm and intense searing pain shot up his arm. It was as if a burning torch was placed on top of his skin and was held there, burning through his flesh. Draco watched horrified as the Dark Mark slowly formed between his elbow and wrist. He fought the urge to scream as the pain intensified and every bad memory he had ever had passed through his brain.
"Welcome loyal servant," Voldemort declared when the Mark was completed and removed his wand. The pain subsided to a horrible throbbing ache, as if the Mark lived and pulsed beneath his skin. Draco found that he could not move his arm.
"Welcome loyal servant," the rest of the crowd chorused.
"Leave us," Voldemort ordered and the crowd left the room, leaving Draco, Voldemort, and Lucius.
"I admire your strength young Malfoy," Voldemort commended. "I see such potential in you. Thus, I am giving you a very important task."
"You are in contact with Potter's Mudblood are you not?" Lucius asked.
Icy fear gripped Draco's heart but he kept his mask on. "There are many mudbloods at school Father and they all grovel at Potter's feet. I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."
"Don't be stupid boy!" Lucius exclaimed, raising his cane to strike.
"Lucius," Voldemort hissed, stopping Lucius mid swing. "The boy has just gone through intense initiation, obviously he is a bit...perturbed." He turned to Draco. "I will be as specific as you wish. The mudblood we speak of is that Granger girl – the one who's always with Potter, who seems to be quite...attached and...valuable to him." He looked at Lucius with a sneer. "The one who got away."
Lucius flinched. "Yes, well, that one," Lucius said to Draco. "She is a prefect as well is she not?"
"Yes Father."
"And so you work with her, do rounds and such?"
"Hardly," Draco answered. "Dumbledore doesn't let us within ten feet of each other. Seems to think I'm dangerous to her or something." He scoffed.
"Well, nevertheless, you've had to be civil to her."
"Of course! I couldn't very well insult her in front of the old coot – "
"Well, then you already have some of her trust."
Draco laughed. "The mudblood doesn't trust me within an inch of her life!"
"Well, that's your problem to solve. Being a prefect puts you in the perfect position. You can easily arrange some sort of meeting with her. Prefect business of some kind. Use your charm, lie to her, I don't care. Make her trust you."
"The task is very simple Draco," Voldemort added after Lucius. "Deliver Granger to us."
"And?" Draco asked.
"And we'll do the rest." Voldemort smiled. "Potter will no doubt rush headlong to save her, yada yada yada and we'll kill him then. Rest assured, she will not escape this time."
"Like I said, Granger would rather eat a blast-ended skrewt than go anywhere with me. What if I fail?"
"Simple," Voldemort said in a flat voice that sent chills down Draco's spine. "Fail, and you'll be begging me to take your life."
Draco stood rooted to the spot, not knowing what to do.
"That is all," Voldemort said turning away from him in dismissal.
Draco willed his feet to slow down as he walked away from the Dark lord.
"Thank your mother for a wonderful dinner for me," Voldemort called out as Draco neared the door. "How is Narcissa doing?" he heard Voldemort ask Lucius before the door shut tightly behind him.
For the rest of his stay, Draco thought about nothing but Hermione and his task. At night he would have horrible nightmares about it, always ending with Hermione's violent death. On his last night, he dreamt of his last stay at the Manor, with the muggleborn girl who was violated – the girl whom he murdered. Except this time, the girl was Hermione.
He felt rather than saw Hermione sit back down beside him. She gently grabbed his face and turned it towards her. He closed his eyes to resist the urge to pull her closer. This had to stop. He knew that he would be watched outside of these walls and he had to make her hate him. They can't go on like this. One wrong move, one look, could ruin everything. For her sake, she had to truly despise him. Only then will they see that there's no way he could complete his task. He didn't have much of a plan beyond that but he hoped that they would move on to someone different, and she would be safe for one more day.
He felt her lips touch his softly and he had to give all he had to stop himself from responding. He kept his eyes closed and her lips left his. He was surprised to feel her lips on his wrist – his left wrist – right at the pulse point.
Draco opened his eyes. Hermione met his eyes for a brief moment before turning her attention back on the Dark Mark. She slowly moved her hand and tentatively touched the Mark. Draco clenched his fist.
"Hermione," he said, causing Hermione to still and look up. "We should stop this."
Hermione shook her head. "Dra – "
"No," Draco said, wrenching his arm from hers and standing up. "It was fun while it lasted but we both know this isn't going to go anywhere."
"Look, if this is about what happened – "
"Yeah, that played a part but there's a bigger picture here," Draco insisted agitatedly. "I'm bad news for you Hermione!" He lifted up his arm to her face. "You see this?! This shows you what a horrible person I am! I work for him! Aren't you disgusted?! You deserve better than this, better than me!"
"I love you!"
Draco looked at her in shock. "Don't...don't say that."
Hermione had covered her mouth with her hand but she stood up with a fierce look in her eyes as she grabbed his arm. "I. Love. You. There, I said it." She stepped closer to him. "This," she continued, holding up his marked arm. "This isn't you. I know who you are right here." She pointed to his chest.
"You don't know everything," he said, turning away from her.
"I know you – "
"I'm a murderer!" Draco yelled at her face. Hermione flinched and backed away. "That's right, I'm a murderer. Bet you didn't know that, huh?"
Hermione shook her head. "I don't...You couldn't...there must be an explanation – "
"She was 15!" Draco yelled. "She was 15 and I killed her...I killed her," he said more quietly as he collapsed on the couch with his head in his hands. "And her parents...her pa – " Draco stopped as gut wrenching sobs wracked his body. The strain of the past three days finally took a toll on him and when Hermione pulled him closer to her, the whole story of that horrible night in the Manor came spilling out.
"I didn't know what else to do," Draco said quietly some time after he finished his story. "I killed her – murdered her with my own wand." He turned to Hermione, pleading with his eyes. "I could've done something, I could've saved her, helped her escape..."
"Sshh," Hermione soothed, her own tears streaming down her cheeks. What kind of monster would force people to do such horrible things? What kind of father would put his son in that position?
"You shouldn't be with me," Draco whispered. "You deserve so much better."
Hermione caressed his face, wiping the tears from eyes. She held his gaze. "This was not your fault. You had no choice. You did what you thought was best at the time." Draco shook his head. Hermione held his face tighter, keeping his eyes locked with hers. "You are incredibly brave. That girl...that girl is at peace because of you. You are an amazing person Draco Malfoy, and I love you."
Hermione captured his lips in a passionate kiss, pouring her whole heart and soul, all her love into the kiss, laying it all on the line.
Draco couldn't hold back anymore. He responded with just as much intensity, pulling her so close to him, they couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. Tomorrow, it could all go to hell but he'll deal with it then. He'll be damned if he let anything happen to her. But that's tomorrow. Tonight, he'll give in. He'll give in one last time and show her just how much she means to him before he turns his back on her tomorrow.
He has to let her go. It's inevitable. Tonight he'll give in but tomorrow he will make her hate him and he knows just how to do it.