A Herald of a New Age

Chapter nineteen. A beginning

|an| while I'm glad I've done this fic, I'm by no means happy with it. There are sloppy chapters, plot holes and a lack of consistency being a general theme.

I've got an idea for my next fic, and the plan is to execute it far better, having learnt from the mistakes in this one. Hopefully people can still enjoy the story, even if my writing fails my vision. |an|

"Guinevere?"

Gwen stopped midway through wringing out a cloth over the washing barrel behind Hunniths cottage. The woman had been so kind to take her in- tatters, lack of emotional stability  and all. Hunniths compassion spread far beyond what Gwen herself achieved and she looked up to Merlins mother immensely. Someone who could hold authority and earn respect through acts of kindness would make a great leader of any kingdom, but Hunnith didn't look for that sort of job. Gwen, however was. She hated to admit it, but she had always had a burning sense of ambition. She often hated herself for it.

Ever since her mother had mysteriously died, her brother had driven himself from their home in his anger and her father had died years later, Gwen had felt she had something to prove. That while Uthers rule kept everyone in check, there had to be a better way of doing things. When Arthur first started making appearances around Camelot Gwen had thought there was surely no hope, but the desire to find a solution still bubbled beneath the surface and she hadn't been able to take her eyes off the Prince.

Had there been a chance? A chance that maybe she could have some influence? While Arthur continued to show no signs of leaving his adoration for his father behind, Gwen had chased the role of a serving girl. Had it not been for Morgana, she would have been turned away by Uther for sure.

Servant to the Kings ward! It was more than she could ever have hoped for, and while the Prince had churned out a new manservant a week, Gwen had grown incredibly close with the headstrong, intelligent young ward. They both had a fire to change the way things were and Gwen had never imagined that her voice could finally be heard through the citadel. Through Morgana. She had challenged Uther and Arthur increasingly and the two agreed they had never felt more alive. To achieve the right things you had to push for change.

Perhaps they would have made progress, had the nightmares not started. Their spark had been engulfed by bigger fears and the rest had been history.

Only, through it all she had kept an eye on Arthur. Though she had lost hope with him bringing a new rule to Camelot, she couldn't help but watch. She knew what a crush felt like but this was different. This had been deeper.

She hated to admit it but she had loved the arrogant Arthur just as much as the Arthur that Merlin had moulded. It was during that mans first week that Arthur had returned one of her gazes. Not Morganas, not any other rich lady of the court. He had fixed his gaze on her.

She had felt that ambition flare up, and she attempted to shove it down. She knew she loved Arthur, and she had pretty much known that then, but she was too ashamed to admit that she also loved the idea of being Queen. She knew she could do it. Morgana had taught her the art of a strong will and confidence and she already possessed the powers of compassion. Her mother had always told her to be kind.

But now, after everything they'd been through together, she felt the same misgivings of years ago resurfacing. Why couldn't she be happy with a cosy hut like Hunnith? A good, honest man and a good honest life. That was what could have been with Lancelot, but she had turned it down for the sake of ambition- and the fact that while she loved Lancelot the same as when they had first met, she loved the man that Arthur had grown to be so much more. Her mistakes had cost her. Morgana had used her love interests against her. Arthur surely couldn't forgive what she'd done. If he ever found out the other reason why she didn't want to settle with Lancelot, would he think she only cared for a crown?