A Herald of a New Age

Chapter nine. A Mask Discarded

|an| The second half of that massive chapter I had planned. I hope I do this justice. Please let me know, wether I do, or wether I really, really don't. an|

Merlin couldn't believe it.

He had so many unanswered questions still.

So many things he could have learnt. He became aware of the mostly empty notebook stashed in his jacket. He only had the spell Noren had taught him in there, and the prophecies he had been told.

He hadn't even had the chance...

Merlin let out a noise, it was sort of like a strangled cry, but it conveyed quite a bit more than that. Merlin was surprised he could still make a sound- his voice was still hoarse from yelling at Arthur.

Arthur. He could still hear his Kings muffled words, and Medans growing sobs. Did he blame Arthur? No, of course not. No one could have predicted it. But why had Derec died in Arthurs arms? What did Arthur say to him- if at all?

Merlin felt the rising storm of emotions begin to subside as he stumbled through the woods. No one came to stop him, the guard just let him pass, and eventually the Warlock found a tree to slump against and buried his head in his hands. He felt his hands grow wet with tears he hadn't realised he'd shed. Why? Why now? Merlin slid down the trunk of the tree further, until he sat against it on the forest floor. An owl hooted overhead. His hands shook as he tried to control himself and clear his head. His magic threatened to lash out, but with effort he reeled it back in. Finally the anger at the circumstances subsided enough for the guilt to creep in. It came slowly at first, and then swamped Merlins brain in a rushing tide.

He had failed. He had failed to protect his own. He was Emrys, he was supposed to protect his people, but instead he had put his own chances of a good nights sleep over that priority, and had woken up to a dead man.He thought he could do it. He thought he could be Emrys and protect Arthur, but instead he had messed up. Arthur wasn't dead, but because of Merlins actions he didn't sleep, he was confused and probably a little unstable. He clenched his fists. Why couldn't he be like Arthur? Why couldn't he be a good leader? The fork in the path that everyone kept telling him about- if this was it, then he didn't know which way to go. Did he stay with Arthur? Or did he put aside what they had, what destiny had apparently planned up until now, and step into his role as Emrys. Whatever he chose he couldn't do both.

He let himself blank out. He couldn't deal with it now.

A rustling in the bushes brought him out of his trance. He squinted through the dimly lit forest, now touched lightly by the dawns rays- how long had he been sitting here? Elyan appeared clutching the hand of a small figure in a dark green cloak and a tear-stained face. It was Medan.

"Merlin?" Elyan said cautiously.

Merlin made a noncommittal grunt.

"You.. You, alright?"

Merlin shrugged. He couldn't do this right now.

"Did you hear it?"

Hear what? Merlin conveyed this in his gaze.

"Derec." Elyan said in response, beckoning Medan to sit beside Merlin, whilst he settled the other side. "He had a final message. We all heard it, even Arthur."

Merlin propped himself up against the tree so that he could meet Elyans eyes. "What did he say?" He croaked.

Elyan seemed to take this as a sign that he could drop the caution. "He said, that we shouldn't be angry, or feel remorse. That he wouldn't have escaped the Southern Tribes borders alive anyway, and, that Emrys was to take care of his son."