Never Settle

11. Love

I wake up seeing my mom and dad talking to each other.
"Where is Caitlyn?"
I say while still half asleep.
"She doesn't want to see you."
My dad said carelessly and continued to talk to my mom.
I sit up.
A light knocks echoes throughout the room.
Jax walks in.
"Hey, Leah."
He comes up to me, his amazing jaw muscles tense up when he sees my parents.
I smile.
Both my parents leave annoyed.
He flips his hair, and his eyes shine in the sun.
"H-hey." I almost lose my words.
"When are you getting out of the hospital? My beautiful cripple."
He smiles and taps the top of my head.
"In a week, unfortunately."
He frowns.
No no don't frown, don't ruin that beautiful smile.
I look at him with puppy eyes.
He looks at me and smiles.
"What?"
When he gets embarrassed his little nose crinkles and it's the cutest thing on the planet.
He doesn't know I like him, no he doesn't know I love him.
He will never feel that way towards me, no matter how hard I try.
I look at him very closely, I know his style of clothing he likes but, something is off.
There is seething different about his outfit and for some reason, I have a bad feeling.
"Different outfit?"
He sits down crossing his arms.
"W-why would you think that?"
He had an unusual shine in his eyes.
I watch his movements.
I raise my arms wanting a hug, but I just need to check something.
He hugs me but only touches me with his warm body and hands, his arms don't touch me.
I lightly push him back and grab his arm.
"Ow, what the fuck?"
He says pulling his arm back.
Long sleeves he doesn't wear long sleeves.
"It's because of me isn't it?"
"I made you hurt your self. Why the fuck can't I just be a normal person and not hurt everyone around me!"
I put my knees up to my face.
Tears stream down my thighs.
"Hey hey!"
"Listen, it isn't because of you! And also you're such a. Fucking hypocrite!"
I look up.
"A hypocrite?"
"Yeah, you fucking cut yourself why can't I?"
A tear rolls down his cheek.
I begin to yell.
"Because of everyone, because I'm a useless depressed piece of shit! Everyone fucking hates me and I hate myself!"
"You are an amazing person, whos good-looking, smart, funny, caring, loving. There are many more but too many to name!"
"But you only see the bad things about yourself!"
Jax says almost without crying.
Jax raises his voice.
"You are amazing! You're so fucking cute, your funny, weird, and so much more but, you only see the bad. "
His voice becomes quiet
"And don't say everyone hates you, you don't know someone out there might be thinking about having a future with you or telling you they love you right now. You never know."
I stare at him.
Is it true, is there a chance that he loves me?
He gets up.
"I have to go."
He moves hair out of my face and puts it behind my ear, he kisses my forehead.
"I'm sorry I did it, I won't do it anymore."
I nod sadly.
He walks to the door.
He looks back.
And Tear falls and he whispers.
"I love you."

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