Never Settle

9. Peace at last

"I can't do this anymore Leah!"
Jax said in a sad voice.
"No, no! You can't just leave me behind like everyone else does!"
I yelled with tears streaming down my face.
"I'm sorry Leah, you make me look bad in front of everyone! I don't want to be that guy who hangs around a depressed piece of shit!"
I look up at him angrily.
"Depressed piece of shit? Everyone and I do truly mean everyone calls me that! I'm sorry, I didn't know I'm in the wrong for having a mental illness!"
He chuckles.
"Mental illness? You're just having one of your teenage mood swings."
My heart begins to ache.
I see someone walking up to us as we stand in the middle of a sidewalk, Charlie goes up behind Jax and hugs him, she turns him around and kisses him.
"What the fuck?"
I say shocked.
"Hey, freak."
She says in a snotty tone.
"Come on Jax, don't want you to become a depressed little bitch like her."
Jax puts his arm around Charlie and they start walking away.
I stand there frozen.
Jax turns around.
He yells.
"Oh yeah, forgot. Go kill yourself you freak!"
He and Charlie laugh and walk off.
I turn around, everything around me is dark.
Suicidal freak!
A depressed piece of shit!
Worthless!
Useless;
All the words surround me, I hear them all around me, the words get louder as I feel them come closer, I scream for help yet no one answers, every time I scream the voices only get louder.
I fall on my knees covering my ears.
"Shut up!"
"SHUT UP!"
The voices stop.
I open my eyes seeing myself in a white room.
I go to each side of the walls trying to get out.
I turn around shaking.
I see a small shiny metallic object.
I slowly go up to it, a razor with a note beside it. I pick up the note,
I read it.
The voices will only get louder, more of them will appear. You know what you need to do to stop them.
I grab the razor, I throw it against the wall.
"No!"
The voices start again, but this time louder.
I drop the note, I cover my ears.
"NO!"
The voices become faster and louder.
I run to the razor and hover it over my wrist.
A few tears would drip onto my wrist.
The tears would slowly turn a dark red colour.
"What? No!"
They would slowly expand and become a large slit along my wrist.
I hold out my wrists in pain, noticing both of my wrists were slit. The blood would slowly pour out, the room starts to become red.
My vision gets blurry, I fall.
I look up and see large beautiful western red-cedar trees and the sun gleaming its golden light down on me.
I smile as I know I'm finally at peace.
I hear a loud slam and a scream.
All of a sudden Caitlyn blocks my sight of the trees and the light.
She yells for mom and dad.
She snaps her fingers in front of me and I notice I'm in my bathroom laying in a pool of my own blood.
My mom gets to the bathroom and screams.
She yells at my dad to call the ambulance.
My mom and sister try to close my large slits along my wrists.
I move my arms away from them.
"No! I want to be at peace, please I'm almost there!"
I move my head away so I don't see them, I open my eyes fully and I begin to see a bright light coming towards me.
"The beautiful sun."
I whispered.
Before I know it everything is dark again.
I hear quiet voices, but I can't see nor move.
"I heard her saying, 'Jax no!' And stuff like that. And I heard her sobbing."
I'm guessing that is Caitlyn's voice.
"So she had a bad dream?"
"I'm guessing, maybe she was half awake but still half asleep?"
The voices slowly faded away, as somehow the dark room becomes darker.