Rollercoaster

Chapter 5

02/09/2009

Altinnermin' s P.O.V:

Today was my brother's circumcision party this party was a Muslim tradition. This was also the last time everyone may see my mum for the last time, however the difference was that only a few people knew about my mum and her condition. This maybe the last time my mum will dance properly for a long time as she won't be able to get up after her surgery she told us.

My mum looked breath-taking in her black dress with blue diamond's sown on to the dress which matched my brothers tie and hat, and the colour of the theme. She had a little makeup on but even without the makeup she was beautiful. She was honestly the most beautiful lady on earth.

She made sure that everyone from her side of the family and my father's side were invited to the party and was there to celebrate. Although it was meant to be something happy, I couldn't stop thinking. My head was getting to the point of explosion by the end of the party. I didn't really like big events, and this was a big event. The drums and Turkish singers in the background all adding to the headache I had.

The ones who knew about my mum's condition never left my mums side from dancing to eating to sitting down. She chose the right time to do my brothers party as she probably thought it would be the last time she would see everyone all together in a happy bubble.

It killed my heart that this may never happen again......

Sev's P.O.V:

02/09/2009

It was finally the day that my son would be having his circumcision party, to our Muslim faith circumcision's mean a lot. It's the first steps for the boy to become a man and having this party showed that he is becoming a man. We invited all the family in Cyprus and had the event at a very beautiful scenery with a pool in the background and tables were laid out with food getting served.

My son wore his white traditional suit that we had ordered, he looked like a Turkish prince. I was so proud of him, my daughter was also wearing an identical white dress with light blue sequins embedded on the outside of her dress and she looked like a princess. They are the most intelligent kids and I'm so happy to be the mother of these kids. Looking at them brings me goose bumps knowing that one day they will grow up side by side as best friends.

My husband looked so handsome in his suit, he always sweeps my heart away every day. I could have never asked for a man this perfect to be the father of my kids. He is my strength, my courage and my support.

If my husband wasn't here right now I don't think I could have ever coped with my illness.

I know risking my health for this party was a stupid idea but if anything was to ever happen to me I would have never got the opportunity again. I wanted to be there to see my son wearing his white suit, I wanted to be with my whole family again for one last time with mostly none knowing that I had an illness that is slowly killing me, just to enjoy the precious time.

I can't tell anyone about my illness because that's all there going to think about and I didn't like that at all. It was already bad as it was now with only a few family members knowing and I just couldn't let the words escape out my mouth. It felt as if a tennis ball was stuck in my throat and there was no getting out because sandpaper was obstructing it from escaping.

So here we are at the party it is simply my vision that I saw in my head. Everyone looks so happy, I put my smile on ready to act like the mother I am to my children. I am dying inside as my husband's holding my hand and I'm sweating furiously. My heart is beating like lightning getting struck, taking my steps slowly one by one feels like my worst nightmare but my dream and goal. I feel nauseous.

I was in my own bubble compared to everyone else, I was having a crisis in my mind and I was also happy to be spending my last couple days in Cyprus with my family and friends. The family members that knew about my health was staying closer to me, some of them constantly looking at me. My husband by my side throughout the whole event. My daughter didn't look like she was where she wanted to be, she liked it when there was less of a crowd. But she acted like a little madam sitting in her seat and trying to be happy, I could see she wasn't, this wasn't her environment at all. She would rather be in her room reading her books and spending quality time with us.

My son looked like he was enjoying his party, running after his cousins and playing with them. There was some relatives on the dancefloor always pulling me along when our traditional songs came on. It was a nice atmosphere with everyone who loved me and the family.

The event ended in a very happy atmosphere everyone felt the love I felt refreshed. It really did feel like holiday. But always constantly that nagging feeling in the back of my mind reminding me that I may be having my final days. I was a mess, I wasn't ready to go back home just yet, I needed to go however for not just me but everyone around me. If I was to go up to heaven my children would be lost, my husband may find it hard to cope, my parents would suffer major heartache and my siblings losing a sister. I have courage now to get it removed as soon as possible.