sometimes i wonder

When It Comes To U

Fourth year and things seemed to be alright, the little boy has grown to be more attractive than all the boys I looked up to. Jeon Jungkook. Finally he started to talk. At least to me.

Nothing could replace him, he was a place in my heart. He often visited my house for help in homework, he came in everytime with a bunny smile, which I found extremely attractive. But that day, I couldn't help him, at anything. Because I was blocked, by someone. An obstacle I couldn't bend away from. I think I was developing something new.

School had ended and I was ready to hang out with Park Jimin, my good friend, when he told me he found something under my table when I wasn't there. He handed me a note. "Meet me at the corridor after school at 2. See you there." 

"You must be kidding me." I crumpled the paper and threw it on the ground, urging him to move, but he didn't. "I'm not joking Tae, I think someone likes you."He looks at me with concern, pressing on my shoulder, clinging. I push him away, rolling my eyes. "Yeah, like how every girl does in this level." my voice cracked. Actually, my heart didn't feel too good about this feeling. Like a surge of adrealine, I wanted to know who. "I think this one's different." he tells me.

I stood, watching the place I fell from, the broken tree with a broken twig. I'd been waiting for a good fifteen minutes, I'm late for Jungkook's tuition. "Pranked...how stupid of me." I felt so silly, dropping my bag on the ground, pointing at the bag. "STUPID! HOW DID I EVEN URRGHH GOSHWHATWASITHINKINGINEVERTHOUGHTOFCOURSESOMEONELIKESMEI'M-" someone calls my name. I straighten my hair in embarrassment. It's a girl in braids, so beautiful. She has good hair. She has a sweet smile, she's playing with her bag straps."Hi." he greeted. I bowed to her. I wished I was dead. "You're..K..Kim Taehyung. The basketball player." she mumbled, her eyes big like marbles. I felt myself blush.

Ice cold, we tried to warm up to each other. She was really into me, and I thought it was really brave for her to come up to me to talk. Her eyes were a dashing brown, reminded me of my own. "We have the same birthdays, that's cool." I told her. I actually knew her long before, because we met in a school concert. She could sing pretty well. "Myung Hee." she introduced herself, smiling. She shook my hands, her hand was cold, quiverring. 

After that, I was thrown into the world of love. She gave me everything I liked, she came for every basketball game I went for. And I guess, I loved her for that. She cared for me alot, she took me in her arms whenever I felt sad.

I was walking home one day, when another few girls came to me to talk, about being my girlfriend. Nope, I didn't like it. I was tired, I was bumped, because I failed my math test. Are all girls like this? I squeezed through the crowd, decided to hide away instead of taking the bus. I adjusted my uniform, wishing someone could hug me there and say it's alright. "Ma's gonna be angry.." I remember thinking as I made my way to my street. "Myun Hee..where are you when you need me.."

Sometimes I wanted time for myself, to turn back and run away from who I made myself to be. Run. Hide. Miss out. Fail. Basically all the things I did was worthless. "Hello baby." Myun Hee had a ring in her voice for me to know it was her. I figured it was best to imagine her by my side. "I failed my test." I told her. "Oh, it's alright. Keep trying." she urged, I could imagine her face beaming. "Yeah, I am. But something's not right. Myun Hee, we're in secondary school now, we're growing up, I want to improve at something that's not sports." I told her. "I can help you. Why didn't you tell me earlier? We could've stayed back to study.." she sounded sadder, whimpering like a puppy. She was like a drug I couldn't stop thinking of. Everyday it seemed she got prettier.

There was a knock on the door. "tae, the little boy has come again. He needs help in homework." Ma was still angry at me for the bad marks, but she tried to make a nice impression of herself. OH RIGHT! TUITION! "Hold on!" I yelled at the door. "Look Myun Hee, I gotta go, talk later?" "Babe, you've been shutting me out for so long, it's time you work on yourself. I can help you if you just-" "TAE HE'S WAITING!" My mind fled in panic. I licked my lips, putting my phone to my cheek. "Myun Heeeeee please, just this once," I heard a sigh coming from the other line. "Fine, but if you're failing, it's your fault."

It's my first competition today, and I'm afraid to face the seniors. They looked so fierce, but I had to go, I had to stay brave. They were tall, even at that age, I wasn't tall enough. However, there was a short, small one, like Jimin's height. I peered at Jimin over my shoulder, he was afraid too. The teen met me at eye level, he was scary of course. And I knew he didn't come to play. "You're going down, skinny." he told me, smirking.

Once our team got into our placings, our team seemed to throw all strategies out the window. Nothing worked out, and we knew it well. The tough ones blocked me, hitting me with their sweaty bodies, while the tall ones did the shooting. At one point, I got the ball form one's hands, dribbled to my side, until the small one nudged me, blocking my view. My eye was swollen by then, I only saw Jimin waiting for me to pass the ball. Then I heard Myun Hee's shouts, her cheering that kept me on. The girl I let down, cheering for me the loudest in the crowd. "You'll never win, skinny, you can't even make it through the hoop." the boy told me, pissing me off. "Maybe we'll see when I get the point." I said, for him to hear.

I got my way out of his reach, then took a step and avoided Jimin. Taking a huge leap, I threw the heavy ball, it fell into the rim elegantly. And that was when, I found myself, where I belonged. The crowd cheered, all eyes on me, the streamers and the balloons going all directions, everyone was chanting my name. To beat down this team, I had to use my strategy, which was no strategy at all.

The next three wins were just me and Jimin, we worked well, using all our energy. The ball had fallen into the hoop too many times they lost count. And whenever we looked at each other, I saw a reflection of me in my old pal. We were inseperable, the best players. We rose up to the finals in time, before the seniors could look down on us ever again. 

"Good game." I told the small one while the shaking of hands were done. He just sneered. "Watch your back, dummy, you little shits won't make it." he told me back in a low tone.

Myun Hee had a sneaky grin as she hugged me, she always smelled like cinnamon. She looked up at me and then, she kissed me. On the cheek. I swear I thought I would pass out right there, but I managed to hold onto her. No regret, she looked satisfied, so I thought it was alright, too. We walked together, back to Flower Street, her head resting on my shoulder, leaving the area just like that. In our own secret ways, love was a very descent thing, it wasn't totally passionate. A light tingle, I thought she really reached my core. 

As the year had slowly passed like snow, we melted to be a little better in our own ways. We held each other close. She gave me everything, and I followed whatever she said. Wasn't sure if we were a popular ship then though. Myun Hee taught me sign language, and we often shared smores at my house infront of my house, only to cause small fires, our fun, stupid moments got us closer. Although I never told her I loved her back, I knew she knew that. That was why she didn't want to forget about me. Because we completed each other. I found the joy in me. I finally did. Everyday with her was a good day.

"Tae, I think you should treat yourself today. I mean, it's okay, if you need to study. I can help teach you." she told me with a wide grin. I intertwined my hands in hers, she was like a second mom to me. I didn't care what happened in future, what was in for us. As long as we had each other. We'll be alright. I'll be alright.