sometimes i wonder

Jungkook

My stomach churned. I took a deep breath. Then I got up from my seat. I knew what it wasn't him. But who could it be? When will I find out? 

Without thinking, my hand took a grab on Jin's collar, my strength had him pinned up on my bedroom wall. My throat felt dry, my eyes started to swell. "YOU KILLED HER!" I yelled. He shivered and tried to break free, but I insisted. Jin struggled to find his voice. The tears made my eyes puffy, I squeezed harder. "I SHOULD HAVE LET YOU DIE WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE TO!" in an instant, Jin Hyung grabbed my wrist and pushed me with much force so I landed on the cement. He engraved his foot on my cheek but he didn't go further. That took me by surprise. "Look, I'm not here to fight," he told me sternly, in a low pitch. I stayed quiet. My chest was hurting. His voice was dry, useless. "I didn't kill him, you know that," he said calmly. Once he made me get up, I thought hard. "Jungkook depends on you a lot, he said you took care of him when he didn't have his parents," I explained, dusting off the dirt off my pants. He sat on my bed, straining his neck. My head just kept getting rusty of that night with Jungkook, that magical night, could I rewind what already happened? Jin stared at the floor thoughtfully as I walked in rounds. "What do we do?"I asked. "Yeah, I'm thinking." he sounded angry. "Wait...you said I took care of him?" he asked back. I shrugged. "That's what he said. "I never did. Maybe he didn't want to tell you, that Myun Hee..." his voice trailed off.

Yeah, of course, I knew Myun Hee loved me a lot, but she never opened up to me that I never knew anything about people that hated her. Jin hyung pinned up a pin on my cardboard on the wall. "Okay so all we know is it can be none other than Jungkook, Jimin or you," he told me. Yeah, I know that. Very well. "It's not me." I truthfully said. He inhaled deeply. I felt like throwing my desk on him. WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO! Jin hyung took a vivid green thumbnail and pinned it to the wall, next to the red one, which was me. "Jungkook, no parents, no sister. He's probably from the orphanage." True, still, I never asked. But it can't be him... Jin bit his lip till it bled a little. "I'm afraid we'll have to visit the orphanage tomorrow." Yeah, I think so too. That's the only way to find out. We gotta know Jungkook's background. Even if my heart can't take it, I know I have to face it. Face the reality. Face himself. Face myself...face him myself..

Ma had just left home, I heard the front door close as I made my way barefooted to the ground level. My hands were freezing, winter is coming soon. I gathered a pair of her mittens and took the hot pot of tea she left for me, placing it on the kitchen table. "HYUNG! SHE'S GONE!" I yelled. From upstairs, Jin hyung climbed down, slowly, like as if he wouldn't believe me. I liked his style, all he had on was a blue robe and long rainbow socks, it's adorable, even for an old hyung like him. I kept the smile smeared on my lips as I saw him draw his cup to him. "How was your sleep?"I asked. He shrugged. "I felt like a floormat." he bluntly answered. Jin hyung then took out the map of Jungkook's childcare and showed it to me. Green Avenue...just a few kilometers from my old place. Jin smirked, finished his drink and reached for a furry jacket. His taste in style is enough questionable. I pulled on a loose shirt and pants, then we left.

The air was greeting us with a cool breeze, we walked over to the bus stop, eyes still on the map. "I think it's over here." he showed to me the closest bus stop, we'll have to cross the road. "Why don't we take a taxi?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow. "Child, as young boys, we gotta be street smart. I didn't bring any money, and if I did, it's still cheaper to take the bus." Yeah, that made sense, I guess I was too eager to find the place, we're getting closer to the truth. We got Starbucks and donut on the way there, got a little distracted, I always thought he was the type who was focused on the task, it was the other way round. 
He had a flair for food, that was his strong point, hilarious really.

The childcare centre for boys was torn down, the color of the walls have turned a brown instead of white. There was moss growing on the edges of the buildings, but it was open when we went in. Suddenly, my phone rang, so I crept to one side as Jin hyung was talking to the person on the counter. "Taehyung-si, it's Jimin," Jimin sounded so fresh, he usually wasn't awake this time. Jin gestured to me, so I ran over to him. "What is it?" Jin pointed to the class photograph, young Jungkook was too familiar not to spot. "I need to ask for a favor-" "I can't right now, Jimin, I'm busy." there was a pause on the other side on the phone. I waited, still admiring the handsome young chap, sitting on a wooden stool, smiling for the picture. Was I blushing? Jin continued to talk to the person. "Where are you?" Jimin asked. "I'm at Green Bush, that old orphanage for boys." "You mean for those orphans at Green Avenue?" he sounded interested. "YEAh! Do you want to come and help out?" I questioned. "I wish I can, but I'm late for ballet, I have Swan Lake, it's gonna be great!" he said. Well, that is important as well. "Okay then..why'd you call me then?" Jin was tapping his foot on the ground impatiently. "That's the thing, I left something at your place, can you get it for me if you can? It's my lucky YouGotJams cap," he told me. I rolled my eyes. "Dude, you gave it to me-" "Yeah, but I really love it, so can you-" Jin had snatched the phone from my hands and turned it off. I swallowed hard, afraid. He held my hand. "Let's go, I found some pretty cool facts," he told me, so I followed his instructions to walk to the room. It was a rather tiny classroom, well to do, but I wished I could have been friends with Jungkookie before. It was truly unfortunate. I was too involved in the decorations that I tripped over the carpet, causing me to fall flat on my face. Jin laughed at me. Turns out, the fall wasn't too hard, but it left me with a hurt chest. WHY TAe!?/ I giggled softly to myself, I hate how I'm so clumsy. I stayed on the floor for a moment as Jin walked around the room, examining every spot. "Nothing here," he said, a little disappointed in his expression. If only Mr. Namjoon was here. "So..nothing here...but maybe his old bunk bed?" maybe we could get more information there, maybe he left something there. "Or.." a voice alerted us, making me jerk a bit. A woman, a caregiver, greeted us at the door. She was holding a shoebox, painted a light yellow. "This box, it has all the things Jeon Jungkook left." she smiled at me. Jin took it from her and we bowed at the same time. YES! FINALLY MORE FACTS!! "Thank you so much!" why did I sound so happy for a murder case? Jin looked irritated at me.