sometimes i wonder

Leave It At the Door

I had my red converses on, waiting at her doorstep. Myun Hee, I cried. Myun Hee...I still love you. 

"Honestly, I think you should lay this topic off for a while, I'm sick of your bickering." Park Jimin told me as we were on the court, playing basketball. I saw the sweat dripping from his neck, he never looked hotter. Especially without glasses. "I think you should stop stopping me." I managed to stable myself before I went under his guard, shooting. The ball flew upward, into the hoop perfectly.

"I think it's just luck," Jimin said, smiling. "What its?" I took back the ball.  "The fact that you can play. You used to suck at this." Jimin told me. I just silently laughed to myself. Of course.

"But back to the topic." I continued on as we arrived in class. "I thought I told you to drop the damn topic," he whined. "I dreamt of her, last night. I was waiting for her outside her house." my eyes grew wide, so dazed. At times my vision blurred, probably too much time in the sun. Jimin rolled his eyes. He dropped his textbook onto his desk. "I need to copy your homework," he said, like a boss. I shook my head, upset that he didn't care. I thought he would, it was so rude. "No." I shoved his textbook back to him, watching his reaction. True enough, he felt hurt too. Great, now we're equal. The teacher, Miss Ma Ki, came in. she told us to open our textbooks. She looked totally sad that day, her eyes were droopy and she wasn't excited to teach like she usually would. I looked around the class. "Oh." I gasped under my breath. Someone caught my eye, in a hoodie. 

"Hey." I came over to his spot, usually, it's another kid sitting there, but since he was there, I decided to talk. The boy, no longer little, laid his eyes on me. He bloomed a pretty red, it reminded me of Myun Hee's elegance when she tends to light up the room with her existence. "Kim Taehyung. Surprised to see me here?" he was wise, indeed. His hair had grown to be curlier, he had a sharper jawline, more attractive than the last time I saw him. Jimin came over to our table. "Hey handsome!" he casually was pushing me, nudging me. "Pretty boy." he flicked Jungkook's chin, unaware that he despised him. I kinda felt bad because I ditched him ever since I met Myun Hee, until now. But he didn't seem bothered. "I got into your class, and no, it's not the wrong class. I'm as good as you in science I guess." he stood up, staring deep into my soul. I've never been threatened by a guy before, especially one two years younger than me. He was extemely attractive, and I tried to hold back my voice, but he was pushing my buttons. Jeon Jungkook. In my class. The first boy I met in Primary school is now here, face to face with reality. I heard Jimin holding his voice from behind, squeaking. He was practically bursting. "Are you challenging me, Jeon Jungkook? Cos you're making a mistake right here, right now." I told him off in a deep voice. "Right, and when you'll lose, you'll know how it hurt when you left me without academic support," he smirked. It was an enjoyable ride, seeing him being all excited over a stupid competition, but I reckoned to prove him wrong. If he takes my place in class, I'll take over him all the way.

Without Myun Hee, everything felt empty, I sat on the stairs without a kiss, I was missing something. It was her, just her. No one, not even Jimin, could fix that ever. No matter how hard I tried, she remained in me. I was losing my mind, careless me couldn't fight ever. 

"ANOTHER A!WELL DONE MY BABYY!" Ma burst into happiness, hugging me so tightly I couldn't breathe. "Baby, I'm so proud," she repeated for the tenth time. I forced myself not to cry, but seeing Ma this happy, it made me realize how great a child can make his Ma feel. I've seen her cry tears of joy once, it barely happened, but I knew she loved me very well. Her face haunted me, her voice made me listen better, to be a better person. I smelled her floral gown as she carried me up and down, twirling around like goofs. She had all of me now, she was all I gave myself into. She's the reason I'm living, I need to do everything for her. Just her.