i'm with you, every step of the way

Chapter 24

Notes:

hi guys!!! thanks for sticking with me this far and for reading and supporting! hope you like this chapter!!

this is a long update so get cozy!

The two weeks before school ends was mostly just AP testing for Natasha, Steve, Bucky, Tony, Pepper, and Maria so the group has barely had time to hangout since that following month. Steve is glad for the distraction of studying for 5 AP tests because it lets him take his mind off what happened with Natasha. Natasha still hasn't talked to him about the kiss or at least mention it, despite her knowing that he broke up with Jessica. He accepts it, knowing that she's with Bucky, though he still can't help but have a little part of him hope that she'd acknowledge it, or at least clear things up. Can't clear something up if there is no something, I guess , Steve thought.

Natasha, on the other hand, is still feeling guilty about the kiss, as she should be. She knows this will crush Bucky and could possibly forever ruin their friendship for good. She ignores the feelings and the thoughts, even Steve's lingering stare. Peppy and Maria doesn't know about it too, and she trusts Steve enough to know that he won't tell anyone else as well. Her relationship with Bucky is... for a lack of better word, normal. Nothing really changed between them from how they were before, just more hand-holding and kisses on the cheek. Bucky's been amazing, he would sometimes surprise her with flowers or chocolate, or, since he's able to drive now, taking her to spontaneous dates. Natasha appreciates that about him, but it just makes her feel even more guilty. The kiss she shared with Steve would still come to her mind despite it being a couple of weeks ago, but she just can't seem to shake it off. And what kills her even more is that she initiated one of them.

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On the last day of school, Natasha was saying goodbye to her friends because she has to leave first thing in the morning. She was one of the few who were selected among a large pool of students all over the world to participate in an 8 week FBI program that is designed to give high school students the chance to see what it's like to be a part of the Bureau. By the time she would be back, only a week is left before the start of senior year, so although it bums her out to not be able to spend summer with her friends and cheer, this program is extremely important for her college application.

"I'll miss you," Bucky said after dropping her off at her house. They were standing by her front there and Bucky was holding her at arm's length, hands resting on her hips.

"I'll know," Natasha whispered back. "I'm sad that I won't get to spend summer with you guys," she said and pouted.

Bucky chuckled. "Then stay."

"I can't, I have to go," she countered.

Bucky was quiet after that, just staring into her eyes. Natasha does not like where this is going. "Nat... I love you," he confessed, searching her face for her reaction. When she didn't respond after a stretch of awkward silence, he frowned. "Nat? What's wrong? It's okay if you're not ready, I mean you just look..." he trailed off, staring at her.

Natasha shook her head. "It's just, Buck..." she can't finish her sentence. Bucky was looking at her with a skeptical look and suddenly, he was leaning down, and Natasha knows exactly what he was about to do. She leaned away and closed her eyes, shaking her head. "Bucky, no. Please, let's talk," she said through gritted teeth.

Bucky did as he was told and took a step back letting go of her, his hands immediately finding its way to his hair, raking through it in frustration. "Come on, Nat," he groaned out, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "What's wrong? Seriously. Tell me. Did I do something? What?" he fired his questions at her.