Rejected and Beaten but never once Broken.

Chapter Nine- Werewolf PTSD

Trini's POV...

Numb, all I feel is numb. It's been two weeks since the war, since the love of my life died in my arms. I am barely moving around, I haven't heard from Charm in over a week, the first week all I heard was whimpering and howling, now nothing, it's so quiet and I miss her so much. I have been to the doctor again about my babies to make sure they were okay after the war, turns out I am having triplets, that was the only time I had been genuinely happy, the doctor said I have to force myself to eat more, for the babies wellbeing, so Courtney and Bree have been bringing me three meals a day, plus snacks and sitting with me until I ate it all or as much as I could. I could tell they were hurting as well, I could feel their pain and suffering. I finally manage to sleep for the first time in days, I slowly drift off into what I thought was going to be a soundless sleep, but I was wrong...

DREAM SEQUENCE...

"There isn't any time Trini, Yes or No??" he replies using a lot of energy to sound stern. "Of course I'll marry you there isn't a question about that," I say as I slide the beautiful ring onto my finger, it fit perfectly. He weakly smiled, as I tried to heal him, it wasn't working "WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING?!?!?!" I roared. The pack doctor piped up by saying "he is too close to death to save, if you try and heal him, you will die Trini, you can't only think about yourself here" he gestured towards my stomach, I went to him when I first had symptoms and he told me I was having twins, I was going to tell Daniel after the war about the babies but this happened. "he can't die, you can't die dammit I need you, I can't raise these babies alone Ryder please!!" I'm uncontrollably crying now, how can I save him?? there is no way.

"It's okay Trini I've accepted it and now you need to as well. It doesn't hurt anymore that's how I know my time is up, these beautiful babies will have the best mother and Aunties in the world" he says lifting his head up one last time to kiss me, I didn't even care about the blood, this was the last time I was ever going to kiss the love of my life, I kissed him until he fell limp in my arms, the storm had stopped around me, none of us even knew it was happening until it stopped, I sat there for a good five minutes holding my mates lifeless body as I for the first and very last time broke.

I woke up SCREAMING and sobbing in a ball on my bed, all the girls rush upstairs to see me with ratty hair, bloodshot eyes, tears staining my face and the clothes I wore on the day we had the war, with the blood still all over them, I couldn't bear to take them off. It felt like I was betraying him, "Trini, we are here to keep you company and help you shower" Sarah whispered trying not to make me react, I looked at her with zero emotion on my face as if her and I were total strangers and yelled "WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?? MY MATE JUST DIED AND YOU GIRLS COME IN HERE ALL CHEERY WANTING TO "HELP" YOU'RE NOT HELPING. I WANT MY MATE BACK!!" I was now blubbering again unable to control my emotions as I heard every thought that went through their heads, they felt sorry for me, they pitied me, they are thinking that I'll never be the same. Once I heard all of these thoughts I snapped, I've had enough of people pitying me, treating me like I am delicate and broken, I am not broken. I growl a growl that could be heard for miles around causing the ground to rumble and shake the house, I ran and jumped out my window and off my balcony, shifting for the first time in weeks, I heard my beautiful wolf howl and speak to me, oh how I've missed my beautiful Charm.

"I have missed you too Trini, I am so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, I needed time to heal." My wolf spoke with so much pain in her voice.

It broke my heart to hear that pain, from such an angelic voice.

"We are in this together Charm, I miss him so much Charm, every time I close my eyes all I see is him dying all over again." I cried to Charm.

"Focus on the good memories Trini, not the bad, focus on how he made you feel and how you felt around him, don't focus on the bad" Charm spoke sternly, as she takes control running and feeling free, that was the last thing I remember...

Courtney's POV...

The girls and I have been meeting every day to discuss Trini's state and pack problems, while Trini is recovering I have taken over with Bree and Sarah, trying to keep the pack safe while we don't have an Alpha, it's 4 pm time for our meeting, I walk in to see Sarah and Bree there already. "Hey ladies, any news on Trini yet?" I asked we have no idea what's going on with her, besides the fact that she lost her mate we are all so confused.

"Nothing yet Courtney, I am going out tonight to look for her, maybe I can reason with her" Sarah replied. There was no way in hell I was letting her go out alone, I am not losing my mate too. Before I could speak Bree interjected "I am going with her Courtney, we can't have you and your feelings fucking up this mission" she spoke, but she wasn't here, she wasn't with us, her and Trini were close, she cared for her more than any of us do, yes we care, but Bree was always like a sister to Trini. I can tell she was hurting too; she was so distant. I nod not knowing what to say as I walk out going to my room and opening up my laptop, we have this special werewolf internet system, it's like google but only has werewolf answers. I'm scrolling through when I see Werewolf PTSD that could be helpful, I click on that scrolling through not liking what I'm reading...

"Werewolves go through PTSD like any normal human, but they also have impulsive fits of aggression and rage, they act on their instincts and if their wolves have full control then you need someone with a strong connection to bring them back otherwise, they will kill people."

Oh no, I race around trying to find Sarah and Bree, but I can't, it was already 8 pm, and they are gone, I race out shifting into my wolf trying to track them before it's too late...

Sarah's POV...

I am tracking Trini's scent as we continue looking for her, the girls don't know but her and I have gotten closer since the war, I was the only one she would talk to, she confided in me...

FLASHBACK 1 WEEK AGO...

It was late, maybe 4 am, I was tossing and turning I couldn't sleep, Courtney beside me was out cold snoring too, it's very cute. I heard sobbing, I jump up and try to find where it's coming from... It's Trini, I softly knock and hear a weak "come in" I slowly open the door, and see her, she looks like a mess, I feel for her. I don't speak I just go and sit with her, she looks at me with so much pain and suffering in her eyes as she wraps me in a hug sobbing, and we just sit like that for hours until Courtney comes to find us like that Trini, now snoring softly on my lap cuddled up, she was so small, I never realised it until now, she's always wearing heels and holding her head high, I am 6ft1 so maybe that's why she looks so small, I see her whimpering and it makes me want to cry, I wish he wasn't dead too, he was my brother after all.

FLASHBACK OVER

After that we were close, she would only speak to me, only laugh a little around me. I'm broken out of my thoughts when we find her, at the waterfall, where we always went to train and play as our wolves. Her wolf was just sitting there by the water we start slowly walking towards her when I step on a stick SNAP! Her head snaps up and she sees us, I thought she would be happy but instead she's growling, this was a side I had never seen of her she looked murderous, she starts stalking towards me I was frozen in my place, Bree had already moved but I couldn't, I was scared, Bree was trying to manipulate her emotions and change her back but it wouldn't work and Bree passed out from the strain, I was about to run when I fell, crawling backwards until I hit this rock, she was still coming towards me, I couldn't use my powers or anything, she was now right on top of me snarling, all I heard was an "NOOOO" before I lost consciousness from the scratch caused by Trini, all I saw was black...