soon, amelia was in the the car of a boy she barely knew. her hands were sweating but she couldn't tell if it was because he made her nervous or because she wasn't with timothee or even because this was a total stranger and honestly, his car smelled faintly of weed. she could get murdered and her obituary would just say "i told you so" because she talked to a stranger.
to make matters worse, timothee's car was parked right in front of cole's. amelia tried her best to hide as she constantly bent down to 'look' inside her backpack or as she constantly pulled the visor up and down. she noticed that cole was watching her strangely but hadn't asked why yet. or why she was alone in the hallway with a tear stained face. she also noticed that timothee was preoccupied in the car in front of them: he was talking with saoirse.
amelia's phone dinged just as cold began to put the car in reverse.
timothee <3:
where r u?
it's monday )-:amelia scoffed. right in front of her eyes he was showing everything but sadness. he kept laughing with and smiling at saoirse. and if she squinted hard enough she could probably see a blush on timothee's face.
damn. did she mean nothing to him? all these days? nothing?
she cursed under her breath before throwing her phone at the floor of cole's car. he looked over at her a couple times before unsurely asking if she was okay.
she wanted so badly to say no and explain everything to him. explain her anger and sadness and insecurity. but she just sat there silently until a few minutes later she replied with a meek "yes."
soon, they were arriving at a coffee shop and amelia's stomach dropped for the billionth time that day. this was a date, huh? she cursed in her head, sure cole was cute, but she was leading him on. she didn't think she could date him. not with timothee always on her mind. but even then, clearly she wasn't on timothee's mind.
maybe this was some sort of revenge. she couldn't tell but she was snapped out of her thought when cole opened the door for her.
inside the cafe, he was incredibly nice and sweet and shy and all things she'd want in a guy. she found herself constantly blushing and for a while, she didn't even think about timothee. but only, he wasn't timothee.
suddenly, cole leaned closer to her. "this is kind of a reach and we barely met today, but can i take you out? for valentine's day?"
amelia stayed silent for a while. she was shocked. she didn't know what to say, what about her traditions with timothee? what if he suddenly cancels and then she'll be the one ruining the tradition.
"i-i mean you d-don't have to. i'm sorry, you're just really pretty and nice and i like talking to you and i feel l-"
"yes cole. yes, i'll go out with you on wednesday." shit, did she just accept it? she didn't mean to, he was just rambling and she felt bad for the poor flustered boy.
he sighed and smiled. they were sitting side by side so he took the opportunity, he kissed her. instinctively, amelia flinched and pulled back, those lips felt nothing like timothee's.
"i'm so sorry cole. i'm so so so sorry. it's just. you're nice and gr- i can't." amelia rambled as she grabbed her things and rushed out of the coffee shop and down the street.
it just didn't feel right. he wasn't timothee and she couldn't lead him on like that. she felt like such a bad person. for all she knows, timothee was probably waiting at his house for her feeling disappointed that she didn't show up. or maybe not.
her vision became blurry with tears and she shook her head. she couldn't believe she was crying. timothee should be the last person on earth to make her cry but here she was. she took out her phone and began to type a message to him to come pick her up, but the last text he sent made her delete the message angrily.
she ended up walking home. the whole time she was playing with the sleeves of the sweater she was wearing. once she realized it was timmy's she cursed but couldn't bring herself to take it off. now sitting on her bed, she inhaled the scent on the jacket: his cologne. she sat face up on her bed in silence until she fell asleep.
———
for timothee, he was feeling the same amount of emotions even more. he didn't know what was wrong with him. he made the plans with saoirse on a whim, he didn't know what he was thinking. nervousness got the best of him when she asked him his plans for valentine's day the night before.
sure, they'd been friendly and he thought she was pretty, but he just wasn't sure about anything that was happening. he told himself that maybe he'd had a crush on her and it's just taking a while to all come to the surface.
but he's also telling himself that this isn't right. that maybe he's distracting himself from whatever him and amelia are by using saoirse. it was so wrong. but he was in too deep.
she kissed him that morning. it was before first period, timothee was half asleep and wondering why amelia didn't ask him for a ride today. saoirse went up to him nervously and told him she was excited for their plans on wednesday. she said she'd never been to a place as fancy as where they were going but she was excited. she tiptoed to kiss his cheek but stupidly, his turned his head. he didn't mean it, he thought she was g- well, he didn't really know what was happening at all. but it did happen. they kissed. and his stomach fell to the floor.
at lunch, saoirse cozied up to him and he was taken aback but couldn't bring himself to avoid her so he went along with it. he didn't want to hurt her, yet he was hurting amelia. and he couldn't deny that he was feeling nervous around saoirse, but he's always been a nervous boy.
when amelia rushed out of the cafeteria, his heart sunk and he nearly stood up but it happened again. saoirse kissed him. he smiled shyly at her and kissed her back. he couldn't contain himself. in his head, he was cursing himself out for giving into his boyish needs. he'd never been one to do that. the hormones or whatever was going on in his body were messing him up.
throughout the day, he barely saw amelia but when he did it seemed like she was rushing in the other direction. once he even tried going after her but saoirse stopped him and asked if he would walk her to class. his stomach was full of guilt and butterflies. he felt so wrong. so disappointing.
at the last bell, he waited at amelia's locker but was instead greeted by saoirse, once again. "wanna do something after school, timmy?" she asked with a blush on his face.
he hesitated to answer, thinking about his and amelia's plans, but it seemed like a lost hope. he didn't know where she was.
inside his car, he felt like he might puke. he didn't know what was happening. was amelia mad? well probably, but where was she? he wanted to talk to her so badly, but he was also kind of glad she was nowhere to be found. he wouldn't want to have to admit that there's something going on with him and saoirse even though amelia deserved to know. he didn't want to see the look on her face. he was disappointed in himself.
•••
a/n
this is shitty
but yay drama i guess lol they're in similar situations ha they're so stupid
also i feel like timmy tim would actually get in a situation like this bc he's too nice just saying he's a baby i love him
hope u enjoy hehe
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my boy - timothee chalamet
Fanfictionin which their love isn't forbidden by others;they just won't admit it themselves