Stay with me *(on hold)*

Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

Walking out of Dr. Shaw's office, I have mixed emotions about what I found out. I am happy that my baby has a fighting chance. Honestly, the appointment went well, considering everything I have been through during my pregnancy. At least my baby is still alive.

I look over at Carolyn when we get to the sidewalk. I can tell she is thinking about everything we found out and what I told Dr. Shaw about my past. I am sure it was hard for her to hear or imagine. It was a hard life, and hopefully the one I create here will help wash away the bad memories that still haunt me.

"What would you like to do now? I can take you back to the hotel if you want, or I can show you my guest house. That way you can see what it looks like and if you can see yourself there." I tell her that I would like to see the guest house. I need to think about what is best for me and my baby.

I worry about my safety but when I am with Carolyn I am comfortable around her. She has been nothing but kind to me. When I am with her, or when she looks at me, I feel like she cares deeply for me already and I believe that to be true.

When we get back to the hotel, we don't go inside, instead she leads me over to the a Ford F-150 pick-up truck. I climb into the passenger side and think that now is a good time to ask her a question that has been on my mind for the last few hours now.

"Carolyn, can I ask why you are being so nice and helping me like you are? It's very kind of you and I do appreciate it all, but I can't help my confusion and the fact that you hardly know me."

As we pull up to a stop sign a few miles out of town, she looks over at me with a distant look. "I figured you would be ask me sooner or later, just didn't know when," she says after a minute of just sitting here at the stop sign.

"I was once in similar shoes. I know how hard it is. It wasn't my step-father who did horrible things to me though, it was an ex-boyfriend of mine. We were in high school and I was head over heels in love with him.

After so long, he started getting controlling and possessive of me. Soon after, he began to get physical. The physical abuse started out with him grabbing me by my hair when he got upset with me, eventually it got to where I couldn't even wear short sleeve shirts or even shorts anymore.

Then it got to the point where I wasn't even allowed to go out or contact anyone anymore. I was forced to cut all ties with my family and friends. If I was to talk my family or friends, he would accuse me of trying to leave him, or that I was cheating on him. To him, I was always planning something behind his back." Pausing to take a deep breath, she continues, "I had taken so much physical, emotional, and sexual abuse from him. I still to this day don't know why it took me so long to leave him, but when I did it was too late. I was pregnant, just a few months along. When he found out, he went ballistic." I could tell that she was having a hard time saying all of this out loud. I could tell that she was reliving her past.

"He beat me to the point that I wasn't able to walk for nearly three days after. When I was finally able to, I left. I only had the clothes on my back and the money I took from his wallet that night." Her breath falters and I can see the tears push over and fall down her flushed cheeks.

I feel like I know it got worse for her, but I kept quiet and let her continue telling me. "By the time I made it to this town, after running nonstop for two days straight, I had lost the baby. Unfortunately it didn't end with all of that. The damage was so severe I had to have an emergency hysterectomy.

I lost my unborn baby to something called amniorrhexis. When I was in the hospital they had done blood work and it came back abnormal. I had what they call pelvic inflammatory disease, I was then given medication for untreated chlamydia. I was asymptomatic and completely unaware that he had given me a sexually transmitted disease. Apparently it was bad enough to make me undergo surgery and never have a chance at having my own children again."