My World

Jams 2

I watched as they tried to revive my sister. A couple minutes later they pronounced her dead. "Time of death, 10:37." I heard the doctor say.

I felt frozen in time. Watching them put her bed sheet over her head. She was gone. If only I stopped her from leaving. The night before she told me she would stay if I wanted her to. I told her to go. If I told her to stay she wouldn't be on this hospital bed dead. It's all my fault.

I've been in Logan's guest room until now. It's been two months since Sarah has passed. I hear a knock at the door. "Go away please."

"Bailey, your gonna want to hear this." It was Karen. She pushes the door open and hands me her phone. I look up at her.

"Go ahead."

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey! Bailey?" It was a mans voice.

"Yes?"

"It's me. Your dad." I looked up at Karen and she shrugged.

"Mrs. Lex reached out to me on Facebook. I just wanted to ask you something." My dad had the sweetest voice. A little raspy, but happy.

"And that is?" I tried to sound a little uninterested. 

"Would you like to meet?" My eyes widened and I looked back up at Karen.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" I was so happy for him to ask. It was the best feeling ever.

I hung up the phone and hugged Karen. "Would you like to join us for dinner tonight? We are going to the New York pizza place."

"Yeah!" After that phone call I was so happy, and pizza was my favorite food. 

I walk down stairs and there Logan is starring at me. She runs up to me and hugs me. I hugged back and she let out a little laugh.

"What's so funny, Love?" She then stopped and looked at me.

"You haven't called me that for weeks. Awe Jams. You're happy." I smiled at her.

"Okay girls let's go." Karen pointed to door.

The pizza place wasn't crowded at all. I ordered my favorite, pepperoni pizza with bacon and jalapenos. 

Karen got up to pay at the counter as Logan and I finish our milkshakes. Obviously I got strawberry and she got vanilla. Sarah always got chocolate. I miss her so much. For some reason the thought of dad calling made me extremely happy. I know he hasn't been here for me at all, but he obviously cares. He has been sending us money for the past 4 years. 

Karen came back to the table and we left. For some reason she wanted to take a detour. We start walking in a different direction from our apartment. Then I see a familiar looking bar. I knew what Karen was doing. We stopped and when I looked at the road there was black tire marks. We stood there in silence. 

"We should make a memorial for her." Logan says looking at Karen.

"Yeah that would be good."

"With daisy's. Sarah loved daisy's." I added. That's one of the many things I remembered about my deceased sister.

Once we got back to the apartment I felt like I was ready to get my stuff. 

"Hey Karen, i'm gonna go get my stuff." Karen's eyes widened as soon as I asked.

"Yes honey, that's fine. I can get Jackson to help you."

"I think i'd rather go alone." I left the apartment and walked down the stairwell. 

The key Sarah gave me before she left was jangling around my neck. I took it off and unlocked the door. It squeaked as I opened it. I walked into the living room and picked up a frame with a picture of Sarah, mom, and I from 3rd grade. I stuffed it into a box along with a picture of  Logan and I.

I eventually made it to Sarah's room. It smelled strongly of alcohol and cigarettes. I picked up her tinker bell blanket. She always slept with it and a stuffed teddy my mother got her when she was little. The blanket was so comforting. I started to sob and I stuffed my face into the blanket. 

A few minutes passed and I got up and put the blanket in the box. I grabbed some more things from Sarah's desk. One was a ring she wore all the time when she was my age. I slipped it on my ring finger. I took her jewelry and a few of her old over sized t-shirts. I left the apartment and went back upstairs. Apparently some people were coming to get the rest of the stuff and the furniture. The only piece of furniture I wanted was my mom's old rocking chair. She would rock me in it when I was little. She always sung a song she wrote for me. "You're my light, my star, my child. I will love you forever, my child. You will grow to be a light in this world, my child." My mom would leave me with Sarah to go down to the subway to sing. 

She had the most beautiful voice.