Beyond the fame

Personal

My head rested on my pillow while my hands became numb. My eyes were still constantly stinging and tears always seemed to find their way out of them. My stomach churned as I sat up for a second hearing nick walk past my door. He must have seen me since he walked backward a few steps entering my room. I looked at him not even bothering to smile. His brows were furrowed and his face looked pained as he stopped in front of my bed.
"You okay?" He managed to say as he sat down at the edge of my bed. My heartbeat felt nonexistent as I shrugged looking away from him. "Dude you look dead. What's up?" Nick's voice traveled my brain as I winced at the pain in my body. My bones felt weak as I breathed out. My eyes met nicks before I spoke,
"Nothing, I'm good." My lips were chapped and cracking. Nick shook his head scooting closer to me.
"How the fuck am I supposed to believe that? You look like you haven't slept in ages." His words floated around me as I smiled softly.
"Well I don't know, I'm just tired. It's no big deal, man." I cringed at the lies. Well yes, I haven't slept in a while but I felt dead. I felt my spirit drain out of my fingertips. I didn't even know why. Jack had a really stupid effect on me and I hated it.
"Finn-" Nick spoke calmly, waiting for my eyes to meet his. "I'm always going to care about you, dude, no matter what happens and no matter who you are... I'm your brother and that shits forever." My heart was sore from missing jack. I smiled at him slightly,
"Yeah, thanks, man. Same goes for you." I looked away from him before he took my hand in his. He gave my hand a squeeze before standing up and walking out the door. I heard his footsteps stop as he reached the hallway.
"Hey, Uhm... Finn someone is here for you" nicks voice sounded off. I jumped looking up to see Jack standing in my doorway. His eyes were glossed over and puffy. His nose was red and his cheeks were flushed, white. His lip quivered rapidly the second our eyes met causing mine to swell up. I stood up, my sweatpants were soft on my skin and the baggy sweatshirt I had on kept my body heat to myself.
"Jack-" my voice was tight but my words were soft. My heart dropped as Jack walked to me slowly. His breath latched on his words as he made a small squeak before his tears started flowing down his cheeks. I felt my words on the tip of my tong as Jack grabbed me, wrapping his small arms around my body. His fingertips dug into my back as he buried his face into my sweatshirt. His head was shoved into my chest as he shook softly. I hesitated before wrapping my arms around his shoulders. I felt tears fall from my eyes as I closed them. I let my chin drop to his head, his curly hair surrounded my face as I smiled softly. My head hurt from the amount of crying I had been doing the last few days. My heart became warmer when I felt jack near me. I held him in my arms tighter now, this time I wasn't going to let go.
"Finn- I'm" his voice shook as he tried to speak. "I'm sorry" he managed to spit out the rest of his sentence. I breathed out heavily before letting go of his tiny body. He looked up at me, his eyes were bloodshot as if he had been crying for hours. His face was a different shade of red as he looked away from me.
"Jack -" my words shook as I tried to breathe. I took his hands in mine as I sat on my bed. Jack placed himself on the edge of my mattress as I pulled the covers onto myself. He looked at me hopefully as I gestured for him to come in with me. He smiled giddily as he scurried under my blankets with me. I leaned against the back of my bed as Jack laid his head on my shoulder. My arm was around him now while he breathed softly into my chest.
"Finn, I'm an ass" he said quietly against my sweatshirt. His tear stained cheeks were glistening in the light.
"I mean, you have an ass, yeah." I said waiting for his giggle to escape his lips. He laughed slightly, elbowing me causing me to grin.
"You know what I mean." He said sounding immediately calmer.
"Yeah..." my voice lingered in the air for a while as I heard jacks sweet breathing drift through the sound waves.
"I'm sorry Finn. I'm sorry I left you that day. I'm sorry I was so mean. You're my best friend, never should I ever have done that to you. I - I love you bubba." His words stung my throat, like trying to drink coffee that's far too hot. My stomach turned remembering the other day. For some reason it hit me harder than I ever imagined something could. I felt jacks heartbeat against my side. I unsteadily breathed out looking outside to darkness.
"It's okay, Jack." I said softly. I did mean it, I really did. But my heart still knew he was with Ellie and nothing would be alright.
"Is it though? Finn, I never wanted to hurt you. I've just been so caught up in having a girlfriend that I didn't think about you..." He spoke harshly. "I- I care more about you than anyone in the world, bubba." His voice was scratched and quiet.
"So... - what?" I began,
"What?" He sounded confused.
"What about Ellie?" I said trying to avoid any eye contact.
"Well, I mean- as of right now we are still dating. Bubba, if you want me to break up with her I will. Really." Jack tried to make eye contact with me but I dodged him. I breathed out allowing my stomach to flip.
"No, that's fine." I regretted saying it the second the words slipped my lips.
"Are you sure?" Jack placed his hand on my stomach, playing with the string hanging off my sweatshirt.
"No, not really." I allowed the words to spill from my lips as jack quivered a little. He laid his head back onto my chest, dropping it into the crook of my neck. His curly hair tickled my nose as my mind traveled to his face, his perfect face. "Jack, I don't feel comfortable around Ellie. After what happened I just don't. If you want to date her that's fine but I don't want any part of it." I spoke quieter than normal.
"Okay." He said lightly, I felt his eyes close as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, hugging me softly. I smiled, maybe everything would be okay, maybe I had a chance with jack... maybe, just maybe. I spot nick walking to the doorway of my room.
"Hey, uhm Finn- can we?" He hesitated, looking at jack quickly and back to be gesturing for me to come out of the room. I shrugged placing my hand on jacks cheek to wake him, he dozed off for a second. He jumped sitting up.
"I'll be right back." I spoke sliding off my bed, jack nodded rubbing his eyes. I reached the hall as Nick pulled me closer to him.
"Are you okay?" His words were soft but his throat was scratchy.
"Yeah, why?" I questioned his urgency.
"Why? You were crying, doofus. I walked past your room and saw you two hugging? What happened?" Nick sounded so scared his voice shook.
"Oh, I'm fine. We've just been having a hard time with our... friendship. It's nothing. Something stupid happened that's all." I looked away from him, playing with my hands.
"I'm sorry, dude." He sounded genuinely sad. I shrugged feeling nick pull me into his chest. I breathed out wrapping my arms around him. He pulled away ruffling my hair as he walked away. I smiled walking back to my room. Jack smiled at me when I entered the room.
"Come back to bed" he said goofily wiggling his eyebrows at me.
"Ew jack shut up" I giggled before walking back to my bed. I pushed myself under the covers, laying down. Jack slid down beside me, his head was on my pillow. Jack adjusted his body, curling up closer to me. His small self barely took up a fourth of my bed. I laid on my side facing him, our foreheads almost touching.
"Bubba-" His words were softer than ever.
"Yeah, Jack?" I said opening my eyes, looking into his.
"I love you." He smiled pushing himself even closer to me. I smiled looking away from his eyes.
"Yeah, I love you too." I spoke calmly. Jack took my hand bringing it to his cheek as he closed his eyes. His heartbeat soothes me as I laid awake. My hand felt safe in his.
"Goodnight you gays." Nicks voice floated through the air as my lights shut off. I rolled my eyes at nicks comment, but couldn't help but smile. Jack was the only person I wanted to be with. In all honesty, he was my person, my soulmate.

9 hours later

I woke up to my alarm loudly ringing. My hand was still embraced against jacks cheek as I smiled. I turned off my alarm with my opposite hand waiting for jack to wake up. His breathing was soft and his small snores flooded my room. I tapped his shoulder gently before slipping my hand away from his. He groaned pushing away from me.
"Just a couple more minutes, mom." He grumbled.
"last time I checked I wasn't a mom." I joked watching him open his eyes lightly.
"Oh, sorry Finn." He giggled softly smiling at me. "Bubba! It's 6 in the morning! Are you trying to kill me?!" He screamed after he saw my clock. I laughed at his expression.
"Welcome to my schedule." I grinned sliding off the bed hurrying down the stairs to feed Rosie. I knew Jack would fall asleep again and I would have to wake him up later. After feeding Rosie I raced up the stairs to my room. I grabbed my clothes from my closet and ran to the bathroom.

10 minutes later

I hummed the friends theme song as I brushed my teeth. I spit my toothpaste out and chugged a glass of water. My hair was still damp but I shrugged it off unlatching the bathroom door. I got to my room chucking my dirty clothes in my laundry basket as I ran to my bed. I jumped on Jack as he let out a heaving sound. I laughed as he curled up more.
"Jack! Wake up!" I yelled watching the sun out the window.
"Ugh I hate you" he mumbled quietly.
"C'mon, you love me." I said shaking him as he sat up. His hair was insanely frizzy and his face had red marks from my wrinkled pillow cases. He looked at me rubbing his eyes thoroughly. I grinned at him as he pushed my face away from his. He shoved himself off my bed, making his way to the bathroom.
"Yeah I guess I love you but if it were up to me I'd be sleeping until noon!" He yelled to me before closed the door. 5 minutes later he came out looking more awake than ever. The spare toothbrush we kept for him in the bathroom always came in handy.
"So finnie, bubba, finnlard, finnegan-"
"What?!" I interrupted the names he was giving me. He looked to me, his face was glowing and his perfect curly hair was in his eyes a little. I smiled back before grabbing my glasses and shoving them on.
"Awe! My finnie wearing glasses. That's the cutest thing." He squealed as he ran to me grabbing my hand. My cheeks were hot as I began walking down the stairs. When we got downstairs, I stood at the counter as Jack looked around.
"Finnie help me get on the counter!" He looked at me intensely smiling.
"What? Why?!" I questioned.
"Because I'm a small boy and I can't get up that high." He spoke insisting my help. I rolled my eyes smiling before he held up his arms allowing me to grab his waist, placing him on the counter. He giggled as I let go.
"Wow my man is so tough" he laughed grabbing my arm. I grinned trying to hide my face from him before I reached for the frying pan above his head.
"Bacon for breakfast my dude." I said attempting a weird accent. I felt myself blush when jack laughed softly, it reminded me of springtime flowers and happiness. I looked up at him sitting next to me.
"Wow for once you're taller than me." I smiled turning on the stove walking to the fridge.
"Bitch! I'm a small boy, don't objectify me!" He said sternly. I giggled loudly before bringing the bacon back to the stove. I threw a couple pieces on, laughing at jacks reaction.
"I know... bitch!!" I yelled louder than intended.
"Language, finn!" I hear Nick scream at me. Both Jack and I jumped watching him enter the room laughing, we looked back at each other with wide eyes before breaking out into a giggle fit. I finished cooking the bacon as Jack sat next to me on the counter making seemingly endless knock knock jokes.
"Finnie! Oh I got one! Knock knock?" He began already laughing at what he was about to say.
"Who's there?" I answered rolling my eyes playfully, grinning.
"Finn!!" He screeched,
"Finn who?" I asked laughing at his excitement.
"Finn...." he paused lightly "Wolfhard." He sounded sad for a second.
"Finally ran out of knock knock jokes, huh?" I giggled at his disappointment. He grinned shrugging, nodding rapidly. His smile made my stomach flip as I placed the bacon on a plate. "Well, there's some food." I gestured towards the plate as Jack pushed himself off the counter. He grabbed two pieces, one for each hand. Nick hurried over grabbing about 5, leaving about 3 as I laughed. I ate one before jack grabbed my hand.
"Ew greasy boy" I spat out giggling at his grease-covered hand. He smiled as if he was proud of himself. I looked down at my hands as Jack walked closer to me. He rested his head on my chest as he pulled himself closer to me, wrapping his arms around myself.
"I'm glad I came over." He spoke very softly. I smiled pulling him closer than ever, smiling into the hug. His hair smelled of sunshine and safeness. My heart flew when I held jack, my heart was happy when I was with him.

————————————————————

Over 500 reads?! WOW you guys are amazing! Thank you all so much. 💓