The Only Reason (Luke Hemmings Fanfic)

Day 2 (Part 1)

I woke at 3 in the morning, because my bladder was being a bitch. Once i finished my business, i washed my face and brushed my teeth. I stiffled a yawn as i walked out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom. There was a sleeping Ed taking not only his side but also my side of the bed. I tip toed out of the room and down the stairs, into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water, as i closed it and turned around. I was face to face with an exhausted looking Luke.

"Shit Luke! You scared me!" I whispered yelled as i clung unto his arm. Lukes lips turned into a smirk, showing that he was satisfied. I pulled on his shirt that was carelessly worn over his swimming boxers. I pulled him out the kitchen and back to the back yard which held the now trashed swimming pool.

"Why aren't you in bed yet? Its three in the morning!" I whisper-yelled again as i pushed him to the wall and was chest to chest with him.

"I-I couldn't sleep" he whispered as he brushed my cheek with his finger tips.

My breath hitched as his touch sent shivers down my spine. As i looked into his eyes i could see the clear hurt buried deep within them. His lips stayed in a thin line as i interwined our fingers and pulled him with me to the side of the pool and stuck my legs into the water, he did the same and drew circles on my hand with his thumb.

"Whats bothering you?" I breathed out as i looked into the city lights of Spain. Ed's mansion was on a hill so the view from his pool was very much priceless.

"I'd have to kill you if i told you" Luke joked. I let a slight smile linger on my lips as i was reminded of the bags under his eyes. This guy was exhausted.

"Do you want to go to bed?" I asked as i turned to the side as i gazed over his lean and tall body. He felt my gaze and simply nodded as he got to his feet and pulled me along.

"Can you stay with me?" Luke pouted. I suppressed a laugh as i pecked his cheek. Who could say no to that. We tip toed back into the house, up the stairs and into the room he shared with Calum. Luckily for us, their room had seperate beds. I giggled as we fell over our own feet when we opened the door, he pressed his lips to mine to keep my mouth from the giggles that kept escaping. I slipped under the comforters of his bed as he changed in the bathroom. He came back out wearing a matching Nirvana shirt with grey sweatpants. He moved into the bed behind me, which slightly made the bed tug. He wrapped his arms around my waist as his head rested on my shoulder. Once his chest made contact with my back, i felt like i was on cloud 9. I felt him slowly relax behind me as his breathing and heart beat was slowed down the way its supposed to be when you're asleep. I slipped out of his grasp and left the room. Thats how i am. I leave before things get too complicated and i get overwhelmed by feelings. Honestly, i was scared of feeling feelings. Because i felt everything, and its a gift and a curse to feel everything so deeply. This time, i didnt go back outside just yet. I went up to the roof on the last floor, aka Ed's Music Room. It wasnt just a room to him, neither was it to me. It was like a different world, where we could escape reality and drift off into a place we really want to be. This was practically the place where the magic happened. Guitars were lined on the right side of the room, going from acoustic guitars to electronic guitars. On the left side of the room were all his CD's, awards, and pictures. And finally in the middle of the room was the most comfortable couch on earth. It was black because i have a thing for black. That couch was the reason for all of Ed's hit singles or i like to believe. I took my favorire acoustic guitar of his which was covered in star stickers because why not. I tuned it before running down the stairs, suddenly not caring about who i woke up or not and stepped back out to the back yard. I sat down on the edge of the pool and dipped my legs into the water, enjoying the breeze flowing through my hair. I placed the gutar on my lap and started playing the first chords of Give Me Love.

I sang along but Ed always said that i just wasn't feeling the song thats why he never asked me to sing it with him on stage. I didnt blame him tho. I never felt love and heart ache. Well thats what i convince myself to believe, no scratch that. Thats what i force myself to believe.

"Give me love" a voice startled me, singing that tiny part of the song. I almost dropped the guitar into the pool, but then quickly put it down beside me, i pulled my legs out of the pool and turned around to see a yawning Michael Clifford.

"Err, hi" i sheepishly rubbed the back of my neck.

He let out a soft laugh then he made his way back inside. I shrugged, grabbed the guitar and followed his lead. He was sitting on a stool next to the kitchen counter and ate a slice of pizza. Does this guy only eat pizza?

"The sun is rising" he pointed out as he nodded towards the glass door.

"Yup" i said popping the p.

"So you and Luke heh?" Michael said as he raised his right eyebrow suspiciously.

I put the guitar down and started holding my hands up in pure horror" no no no."

He let out yet another soft laugh and finished the pizza. He looked straight into my eyes which made me visibly shiver. I picked the guitar back up, nodded my head at him and made my way back up to the music room. I couldnt help but think that the whole entire band was weird. I shrugged off any evident thought about anything and put the guitar back to its place and slowly crept back into Ed's room. I didnt like to think about things, i liked to feel numb. I went into the bathroom, took a few antidepressants and just stared at myself in the mirror. I never felt like it was me that was looking back at me. I stripped off my clothes and jumped under the shower. I let the warm water wash away any feeling that i was feeling before. Just as the perfect moment started, it ended. Ed stumbled into the bathroom, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. I let out a squel which made him realize that i was in the shower.

"For gods sakes" he muttered under his breath before he left the room in one swift motion. I let out a giggled before rinsing the conditioner out of my hair thoroughly. I jumped out of the shower & wrapped a towel around my body, letting my wet hair fall loosely down my shoulders. I stepped out of the bathroom to see an adorable ginger guy sitting on the bed looking at me.

"Good morning!" I said with enthusiasm.

"I saw the antidepressants" he confessed looking straight into my eyes.

I lowered my head, not daring to meet his eyes. This is way i was afraid of telling people that i wasnt okay, i was afraid that they'd want to help me and take care of me but i knew, i've always known that i'd disappoint them and i couldnt do that to them, i couldnt do that to Ed.

"Why do you tell me that you're okay when you're clearly not?" He whispered.

"Im okay Ed, im always okay" i forced a smile and looked into his eyes, trying to make him believe me.

"Don't bullshit me Audrey." he replied rather harshly.

"Look, im sorry. Im just worried about you" he added

"I kissed Luke, well he kissed me. We kissed." I blurted out.

Ed's eyes widened,

"I swear if he hurts you-"

"Hey no, dont worry Ed." I pecked his cheek assuring him that i had full control over it.

Hey! Im so sorry for not publishing anything, and i know that this is short but its only half the day! Well not even half but oh well. Im so sorry. I love you guys. And i apologize again.