The One Who Sees in Black And White

Chapter 19

"A good man is hard to find... which is why I think that's why I always sense the ones who are..." Bree answered him carefully. It was true, even as she admitted that truth to Dean. It could be something he could use against her in the future. She was never too sure if he was the type of Hunter to throw her words back at her.

Dean was thrown back at her words; of course he wanted a relationship with a woman and kids but this life was stopping him because he always wanted to do more. More with saving the world, helping his little brother Sam, and fixing problems. "You think of me that way?" He asked her, a bit nervous. " I know you're able to be." She admitted, finally looking up at him.

That was when Dean's insecurities came to play at the forefront of his thoughts. He wondered why he wanted to have sex with her in the first place; sure alike attracts alike but was it worth it ruining her mental state? No, it wasn't yet he wanted her. He was struggling with his want of her in his bed, passed out from what positions they tried.

He felt a sort of deflation of some sort happen to his cock, it was no longer wanting to play. Bree looked over at him curiously as he sat across from her not saying anything. A movement of her hands caught his eye. "Dean? Hello, earth to Dean!" She signed. "Are you okay?" She asked out loud. "Thinking." He murmured.

She didn't catch that and asked what did he say. "Thinking." He signed to her. The movement of the sign himself seemed like the right action to use for the word. "Of what?" She asked him softly. "Just thinking." He said a little roughly. He was putting up his defenses. He got up from the couch. "You need sleep, you should sleep. " He signed to her.

He then fiddled with the remote, turning off the tv. Leaving Bree in the dark, he went outside the entrance of the bunker. Bree was surprised at his behavior, it had seemed she had set him off. Maybe he didn't think he was a good man? Bree tried to breathe calmly and get back to sleep but it bothered at her.

Now outside the bunker, Dean tried to breath in and out slowly but his heart is racing. It was too close of a hit, he could make a female version of himself out of her. He didn't want her closer to the darkness like he is. He didn't want to tarnish her. He wanted her to be similar to Mel. Like Sammy. The lighter counterpart of themselves.

"Hard, huh?" A raspy voice said, next to Dean. Dean turned around, intent on fighting. "Shit, Cas! What did I tell you about popping out of nowhere?" Dean cried out. "Sorry, Dean." Cas murmured. "What did you mean 'hard'?" Dean questioned him. "Humans, females, the whole lot. Never thought of you that way until recently. Give so much of yourselves because you need to be loved." Cas replied.

"Yeah? Well, love can kiss my ass, Cas. It's not coming my way." Dean said. Cas gave Dean a quizzical look. "Don't say that, Dean. You'll regret it." He said. "I could've had love so many times with the girls I was with, they have shown up out of the blue." Dean replied. "You tried to make an effort." Cas stayed. "Not enough. A small number showed up, none stayed long." Dean relented, sighing.

"It can be possible for you to find one." Cas said slowly, hoping his words would reach him. "Then why don't I go in and make love to her? Then why don't I go in and enjoy her?" Dean questioned out loud. He was comfortable with Cas enough to ask why not. "Same reason why Sam hasn't really touched Mel while in hiding; sure, kisses and touches were shared. But..." Cas paused.