The One Who Sees in Black And White

chapter 18

"Dean?" He heard Bree call softly. He has heard his name being called maybe a million times in his lifetime, both by family and strangers, and yet when she calls his name—he knows she needs him. Dean took a second to relax and answered her. "Yes?" He signed to her. "I think we need to talk." She signed to him.

"What is it, Bree?" He signed to her. "I don't...I don't feel well." She said softly. "I know." He signed to her. He knew exactly what she meant. She didn't mean physically, she meant emotionally and mentally. "How do you deal with it?" She asked him.

"Sleep, fuck, fight, and eat like a monster." He answered unabashedly. "Does it really help numb the pain?" She asked him. "Yeah..." He replied. "It does." He cleared his throat. Shannel has the distinct feeling he was lying but decided not to push it.

"Is it worth it?" She signed to him. She can see him grimace before he replied, signing back to her. "On one hand, I'm free from most sins — kinda like when Famine was in town. On the other, I wanna be better." Bree understood, she was no stranger to sin; she's fallen in bed with a few men, ate like a demon, and had enjoyed the violence of a few fights.

"I think I was around when Famine came through..." Bree signed to him. "It wasn't so good for me." Dean looked her way. "What was your sin?" He asked her softly. Bree couldn't help but feel shy admitting it. "Lust." She let slip into the space between them. She didn't know the effect it had on Dean.

Dean started having flashbacks to earlier today, when he had behaved like a sex starved teen boy. He swallowed imaginary spit that was in his mouth. He had hoped she wouldn't notice if he started to cross his legs in attempt to hide his semi boner. It wasn't hard but with more than a few prompts of what he did that morning, it could.

"What happened?" He asked in spite of himself, he honest to Chuck didn't mean to but it happened. It came out and he had to know. "It was... my third case at the time, I was helping a eighteen year old guy who was blonde with brown eyes... I... well, we got caught up in each other..." Bree admitted guiltily.

Bree couldn't look up at Dean for shame of what she said despite knowing she didn't explain what she and the Burn boy did. She knew she was hitting dangerous territory telling a man this, even if it was Dean. He could use it against her. "But how... were you attracted to him?" Dean asked her, trying not to be so obvious that he was hanging on her every word.

"I... He... I was in town and something between us clicked, we always knew when the other was near, it was almost something like soulmates, I just don't know how to describe it." She said, slowly. She still wasn't looking up at Dean across from her, if she had, she would've seen the thinly veiled lust he held for her.

"Was it similar to _______?" Dean asked her, trying to keep his voice casual. He wasn't too sure how she was going to answer his question but he hoped she would, if it was a positive answer, he might hopefully sway her his way, even get her to like him. "Huh?" Bree  said, looking up at him.

Dean cursed the fact that he didn't know all of the sign language phrases, instead he kept on talking with his mouth. "Was it similar to us? You and me?" He asked her once again, now a little nervous. It was a bit more obvious in his pants that he wanted her but he kept his cool. Bree opened her mouth to answer.

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