Kenya

DANCE

I woke up. Today I was allowed to dance... finally. 

I had an appointment with the doctor for the final okay and I had asked Lucas to come with me as we had a session going on at the same time this morning. He agreed and came down to collect me around ten. He looked terrible. His eyes were bloodshot and sunken in. His hair messy and his face pale. 

"Lucas." I breathed out. 

"Hmmm?" He grunted. 

"What the f-..." I reworded, "What happened to you Cas?" I asked worried. 

"Vodka, liquor, wine and others." he replied. 

My eyes widened. "You drank?!" I asked. 

"That's an understatement." he said taking a seat next to me on my bed. 

"You don't drink. You are against drinking. Your father-" I started. 

"It was a mistake okay. Your appointment" he said looking at his watch, "is in twenty minutes." he whispered not meeting my eyes. 

"I don't doubt the doctor would much rather see you at this point. To hell with my appointment, talk to me... please." I saddened. 

He ran a hand through his hair. "My girlfriend- ex girlfriend she thinks I am in love with you. She doesn't trust me living in such close proximity to you whilst she's miles away and unable to watch my every move. We argued about you. She thinks you lead me on. She thinks that you don't love me that your a-" he coughed, " a slut." 

"When she used that word I couldn't cope. I couldn't see her as a human being anymore. She was in my room whilst we had this conversation and I-" he broke into tears, "I slapped her." he finished falling into tears. He was so vulnerable, so small and for the first time ever I had to comfort Lucas. The only time I had ever had to do this was when his father passed. 

I embraced him close to me and kissed his hair. He shook uncontrollably and I was scared I couldn't put his pieces back together again. We stayed like this for about an hour before he fell into deep sleep I tucked him into bed and kissed his forehead and left to make him a meal for when he woke up. After when I returned he was awake and he thanked me for the meal I had prepared, I accompanied it with a slice of cake that me and Liam had prepared yesterday.

"I want you to know that you shouldn't feel guilty for this at all. You aren't to blame, she's just paranoid." he said sadly.

"Well, I do feel guilty naturally however I do feel that maybe she's right to a certain extent. Lucas we do kiss, a lot. Just the other day I had my head in your lap and I kissed your neck. You've grabbed my arse on many occasions and I dress in front of you. Lucas all these things are things that people associate with a romantic relationship. Sadly things like kisses which to us are signs of affection and platonic love for each other are only linked with relationships. Maybe we have to re-think those things." I said.

"I- no. No Kenya. I can't be with someone that doesn't understand and accept the nature of our friendship we just happen too be close both emotionally and physically but we've never made love or touched each other sexually. We have a line. We've been happy with that line and I refuse to make amends to please others. I refuse to." he said sadly.

"Lucas I understand that but I can not believe you hit her." I said genuinely shocked.

He whimpered, " I don't know. Something just came out of me, I couldn't help it. I was a beast, a monster. I'll never be able to live with it." he said.

I didn't know what to do. Laying next to me was my brother, my best friend, my role model, my everything. He was also a monster who just hit a female. Arguably, in defence of another female. I decided that I had to stick by him regardless of the situation. We spoke for about two hours and agreed that he had to call her and arrange to make an apology, it wouldn't mean it was okay but we agreed that it was the right thing to do.