Kenya

A big decision

Liam and I had drank a lot and eaten a small fridge's worth of chocolate- no literally. No wonder the guy was so happy, a guy with a fridge of chocolate shouldn't understand the meaning of the word sad. Its 4am now. Liam slept on his small couch because he demanded that I needed all the bed space I could get that night. What a night! I still can not manage to decipher how all of this has happened. Lucas is meant to be my brother. To me, him liking me is practically incest! Where am I going to find the guts to look at him with my eyes today. How could I forget the director? He said he wanted me. The amount of sexual coating in that one phrase is enough for me to come to a logical conclusion. I can no longer stay here at this company. This will most definitely put me at a vulnerable position. Lucas... okay. That's a personal issue I could somehow deal with but The Director? Well he's a director for heavens sake, doesn't he know the consequences that come with fraternizing with students. Where has his professionalism escaped to because I can't seem to find it, not a single drop off it. 

I should have known something was odd about this whole experience. Opportunities like these ones do not just fall into your lap like ripe bananas, not at all. Who did I think I was stepping into this company with a determined face. All I am here for is to satisfy the directors lust over me. Oh God how I wish I followed in my mother's feminist nature, maybe somehow I would've concluded this a while ago. No wonder he was so ready to hand us this opportunity. A feeling I had never experienced washed over me, I tried to understand it but there was no single name for it. Instead of pondering I decided that I would sleep for a few more hours and enjoy the last few hours that I would spend in this beautiful company. 

Four hours later 

"K." a voice whispered sweetly. 

"Hmmm?" I responded my head cocooned by Liam's bed sheets. Oh right- Liam! " I mean, yes Liam" I blurted out quickly raising my head, sitting up to face him. 

Liam chuckled. "Aren't you a funny one. Did you forget I was here?!" he said his laughing never ceasing, I mean jheez was this guy saint Nicholas or something because he sure was jovial. Its early in the morning and somehow he can still muster up a laugh. 

Liam was draped comfortably on his couch in his, what I considered to be his "street dance uniform", baggy sweats and a vest top that revealed his impressively toned and sculpted chest. 

"No, I was just a little bit disorientated since we had a little wine yesterday that's all" I covered up embarrassing. 

"Its okay, I was kidding as per usual. Just wanted to let you know that its 8am. I don't know what your timetable for dance is like but I usually hear you corridor get a little louder at this time so I thought most of you ballerinas begin your lessons now." he said his eyes shiny. 

For a second I was lost in his eyes, not because of lust - nothing like that. Its just how pure and real he was. Its rare. 

"Um- about dancing. Liam I am leaving the company." I said sighing. 

Liam digested the information for a few minutes before responding, "I thought you might say that and K as much as I adore you already, it seems like the best thing to do right now under the current circumstances. I am sure that you will be accepted elsewhere. I watched your final recital before you joined. You are raw talent. However, I worry for your safety here and as much as you may tell me the men yesterday were joking its hard to believe when they were so clearly being serious." he said his head bowed and forehead wrinkled with sadness. 

"Liam you and I both know this is the end to my career that never began. However, both ways will end it. If I stay here and entertain The Director's little thing for me eventually we'll be caught and it won't end nicely, for either of us but if I leave now and say that I figured out this wasn't the correct path and started a small dance school or something of the sort for kids like me who have always dreamed of dance then both of us won't fall into shame." I said conscious of the salty liquid building up in my eyes. 

"K, you can cry you know... its okay I don't judge. I cry everyday when I see hairs growing back in-between my eyebrows, my mother used to groom them every so often I wouldn't dare try." Liam said coming closer to where I was sitting on his bed and wrapping his arms around me. "I promise my loyalty to you is unbreakable and just because you leave doesn't mean my presence in your life does to. This is an admirable decision. You are sacrificing your whole life and you've worked for a paedophile and prick who preys on his students." Liam breathed out before clasping his mouth in realisation of his foul language. 

"Its okay, I have definitely said more hand clasping words in my lifetime I am no flower honey." I replied to his action. 

"Oh darling, don't kid yourself you are miles away from a flower." Liam replied instantaneously. 

I faked annoyance as I got up and made the bed, Liam helped cracking jokes that put my stomach into stitches to which I'd beg him to stop before my organs fell out my mouth. Liam would stop for a few seconds but then couldn't help himself and continued from where he left off. We finished making the bed and then took a serious tone and discussed our future paths. I learnt that Liam was excelling in street dance and was top of his class. He led the team for the best part and choreographed majority of the dances that they learnt. It was really quite inspiring, it was only because of his dedication and happy character that had gotten him to where he had ended up. Liam apparently suffered from depression for the most of his early childhood. It was hard to take in that information considering the fact that he was so different from depressed right now. Liam beat depression after pouring his life out into dance, it was a release to all the pain and suffering he was feeling, slowly and slowly he started receiving comments about how light and pleasant he was becoming. He started attending social events and dating a bit until he ended up as the Liam I knew today.

"Alright, I am going to pack up my stuff. Luckily I haven't unpacked EVERYTHING yet so it won't take too long, thank you Jesus for the lazy genes I have inherited from my mother." I said.

"See you, call me if you need help or moral support you can do this!" Liam called over as I shut his door.

"GUESS WHO?" Lucas whispered from behind me holding my waist. 

"Get off Lucas." I replied simply. 

" What if I said no." he said just as easily. 

"Then I'll scream assault from the bottom of my diaphragm to the ends of the universe Lucas, don't you dare try me." I retorted my voice drenched with disgust and anger.

He quickly let go reasserting his posture and clearing his throat.

"Kenya Grace, listen." he started.

"We are on miss Grace terms Mr Douche-Bag" I stated. 

"Miss Grace... this is all because I told you I wanted you. I told you the truth Grace, I was honest. Don't you admire my honesty, that's what you always say but the one time the honesty correlates to my feelings it creates this." he said waving his arms between us. "What did I do wrong, honestly what?!" he cried out. 

"Honesty. Fricking honesty. I am upset because you are family. This changes everything you do know that. Great you grew a pair and told me you wanted me. Lovely. However, what about me. For years I have regarded you as my brother, my reliant friend even a father figure in ways. I don't deserve this. The way you expressed your emotions were uncalled for. It was like you had forgotten I have a beating heart and veins that carry my blood. You spat out your emotions at me like I had no choice to say no, like I had to be submissive. Not to mention that you both said it. You told me as a collective as if you were standing outside a dog shelter and pointed at the coy dog in the corner and pointed informing the dog shelter owner that you wanted it. Am I dog? Am I an object Lucas. Whilst I unchanged in front of you did you think of me like this. This is why you were so heated at the silly party me and Liam had. You disgust me." I delivered turning on the ball of my feet and heading to my room. 

"I am so ready to leave this crap place." I sighed out to no one in particular.