neverland『 jikook 』

ᅳseven

LAVENDER PROMISES

❝you're getting farther from me, you are in my fairytale❞

ᅳ

in the wake of losing someone, you find a piece of yourself. or maybe in truth, you keep a piece of the other person for yourself. maybe no one ever leaves us completely.

jimin isn't certain of anything anymore. which is why he found himself in the same forest that night, crossing the same lake he and jungkook did before. only this time, it was dark and cold at night, with no jungkook to hold on to.

for a second, jimin tripped and he fell on one of the rocks, his right leg in the water, as he tried to keep the other side of his body on the surface. nothing could probably be worse than a death with an unfulfilled mission. and if it were jimin's, it would be that of the fact that he hasn't found the answer to his questions yet.

"why did you say you love me, jungkook? if you were just going to leave? and why, pray tell, did you not take me with you?"

jimin somehow managed to get across. laying down on the grass to take a little break, he looked up at the starless sky and thought about the last time he saw stars with jungkook when they went to the dunes that one night. if only jimin could go back to that place. he'd give anything to be there right now. but even if he was, it would be utterly useless.

because nothing is neverland without jungkook.

jimin got up, ignoring his scraped knee that was starting to bleed. he wants toᅳno, he needs to find the place. it doesn't matter if it takes hours for him to find it or if he eventually collapses due to lack of sleep. it doesn't matter.

jimin's become addicted to the fragments of jungkook in his mind, the smallest things he could find that remind him of jungkook, the things jungkook laid his hands on, the places jungkook went.

and jimin will continue this sick chase until his knees grow tired and he's unable to run ever again. because he'd much rather be dead than lose jungkook completely.

the worst part about it is the fear of forgetting. the feeling that every morning he wakes up, he'll somehow forget a part of jungkook, his voice, his face, the things he said to jimin.

so what jimin would do aside from reading the diary or travelling all the way back to seoul to find their neverland, is look at pictures and videos of jungkook's for hours.

just to make sure jeon jungkook isn't a mere fragment of his mind and that the boy he loved for years actually existed.

after what seemed like eternity, he did find the place filled with lavenders, hidden from the rest of the forest.

falling on his knees and breathing so heavily, jimin almost cried. jungkook's presence is still so heavy. it's as though he's right there. or maybe it were just the memories flashing in front of jimin's eyes. the shattered memories that cannot be taken back or the regrets due to mistakes that will never be undone.

【 4 months before the incident 】

"jimin hyung! wait up!" the young boy somehow managed to lose the elder's hand when they entered the cave filled with lavenders. jungkook kept yelling and yelling jimin's name but to no avail.

he was starting to get worried. what if jimin got hurt? what if someone took his jimin hyung away from him? the panic started to seep through his bones.

jimin, who was merely hiding behind one of the bushes, noticed this and immediately went out to hug jungkook. the younger got startled and threw jimin onto the ground.

"jesus christ!" yelled the elder, wincing in pain. the confusion that was in jungkook's eyes just a moment ago was immediately replaced with sheer terror.

"oh my god. jimin hyung!" he rushed to the elder, squirming on the floor, his eyebrows squinted, eyes shut as he held one of his legs in his arms. "what have i done? oh my god. i'm so sorry! i'm so sorry, jimin hyung!"

not knowing what else to do, jungkook fished his phone out of his pocket and started dialing 911. jimin, utterly surprised by this, stopped acting and immediately sat up to give jungkook another hug. due to the sudden impact, jungkook's phone fell on the floor as his back did too, with jimin lying on top of him.

"what..."

"i wasn't hurt, jungkook. it was a sick joke. i'm sorry. i didn't think you'd be that worried."

then there was silence in the cave. jungkook stared into jimin's eyes until eventually, tears started pooling in his own.

"jungkook? jungkook! are you okay? jesus! why are you crying?"

jungkook tried to cover his eyes with his arm but jimin merely shoved it away. "jungkook, don't cry. please."

"i... i thought..." jungkook managed to say in between sobs. "i thought i... i thought i hurt jimin hyung."

"oh, baby, no." jimin got off jungkook so he could lay beside him and pull his head close to his chest, shushing him. "jungkookie, i'm so sorry. that wasn't my intention... i only wanted to joke around. i'm sorry. i should've been more mature."

"i was so scared."

"i know, baby. it's okay. you didn't hurt me. i hurt you. i made you cry."

upon hearing this, jungkook started shaking his head left to right nonstop. "no, no, no, no. you didn't want to make me cry. you didn't do that on purpose. you care for me all the time."

"and i always will, jungkookie. but you know why?" the younger looked at him in expectation, staying silent.

"it's because i love you," jimin declared and gave a kiss on jungkook's forehead. "i'll never want to hurt my jungkookie in any way."

"me neither. i never want to hurt you. but you're too strong. i don't know what can still hurt you."

"there's only one thing." jungkook squinted his eyebrows in mixed confusion and plain curiousity.

"if you ever leave me."

"that'll make you hurt?"

"of course, it will. so don't leave me, okay? promise?"

"i won't ever do that."

an answer that brought the brightest smile on jimin's lips.

and a promise sealed by a kiss.

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❝you still linger around, don't leave, i'll be there❞