Impossible Attraction (Deadly, #1)

Chapter 6 - Blake

The love of my life brings her hand up to touch mine which rests on her cheek. I didn't even notice I was touching her. I remove my hand quickly. Surely she doesn't want me touching her. I am a dark, twisted, selfish, sick man, and I don't want my darkness to somehow rub off on her. I can't risk that. She grabs my hand in hers tightly.

I see the love she has in her eyes for me and it makes me sick with self loathe. She still thinks I'm the boy I was years ago. She doesn't understand what I've done. She doesn't understand what I've been through. She never will.

She slowly gets closer and her gentle lips meet mine softly before I know what's happening. Electricity shoots throughout my body and suddenly I'm a livewire. It takes me a moment to snap back into reality and pull myself away. No. I can't do this. Not to Anna, not innocent, soft Anna.

She looks at me as if she's hurt by my pulling away. If only she knew how badly I want her right now. If she could know how badly I want her to kiss me, how addicting her lips are. I should get off this bed. I should go back to the chair.

"I'm no longer a girl, Blake, I am a woman. A woman capable of making my own decisions. Don't treat me like I'm a kid. I know what you're doing," she says quietly, not looking at me. "Don't try to protect me. I don't need protecting. I'm not going to shatter. I need you right now. Don't think I don't know it's what you were going for in the bar before you realized who I was."

She's not wrong. She is a woman now. Am I treating her like a child? Am I treating her like I'd have treated her years ago? Yes.

"You've been drinking," I remind her, tucking a strand of her beautiful hair behind her ear. Since when do I care if a lady has been drinking before I get into bed with them? I have to admit that although the new color looks amazing, I like her natural color better.

"I had like two drinks, I have a high alcohol tolerance, it was over an hour ago that I had the last one, I am twenty-six, I am old enough to make this decision. I want this, Blake. Please. Let it be the first and last," she almost begs me. "I know you want it too."

The tone of her voice tells me she wants this just as badly as I do, but I'm still weary. Anna and I, although we were together for years back in high school, I was a rather religious guy and believe it or not, I wasn't about to have sex before marriage. Anna never pushed, and I loved her for that. After I joined the CCs, that all changed. My belief in god disappeared. I've spent nights with more girls than you can imagine, but never one with Anna, the one I love. Don't I owe her this much if this is what she wants? Don't the both of us owe each other this?

"Are you sure this is what you want?" I ask her, my breathing getting heavy and my mind starting to spin as I get lost in the thought of absolute ecstasy. She has no idea how much I've fantasized about this, how much I've dreamt about it for years.

She looks up at me, gazing into my eyes intensely. That's all the answer I need. My heart jumps, and I find myself on top of her on the bed planting kisses down her neck in an instant. She moans lightly and the look in her eyes in that moment will stay with me for the rest of my life. It will be the light that carries me through the darkness yet to come.

I give in to the drug that is my Anna May. I let instinct take over. I drown in the woman, not wanting to breathe again if I'm going to have to say goodbye to her in the morning.

I wake up the next morning feeling like I can walk on water. That is until I realize that this happiness won't last. In fact, it's about to end. I have to leave. I have to say my goodbyes. How am I going to do that after having the best night of my life? She stirs beside me and her cheek rests on my hard chest. I don't want to wake her, but I have to. The men will get suspicious if I'm gone too long this morning, especially since Harry's been missing.