The Purpose

November 6, 2016

Dolan walked out of the house into the dark Chicago streets. The summer breeze hitting his skin just right with his red tank top and khaki shorts. Collar popped, he was feeling stylish that day. Turning from corner to corner, right, left, right, left, and so on. He had the attitude like he knew where he was going without a plan once he got there.

He wouldn't be seen again till the sun was rising and he'd come home stumbling into his top bunk, with red all over his hands. Dolan would immediately wash his hands and sleep the day away. He was barely eating these days. This happened once or twice a week without anyone noticing.

One night, everyone was asleep and the moonlight shown through the few windows and the only noise was the air conditioner circulating throughout the house. The rhythmic sound of steady breathing was quickly disturbed by police sirens in the streets, getting louder and closer.

Maria walked down the hallway to the front of the house in her robe, squinting while attempting to adjust her eyes to the new lights shining on her face. She opened the door to find a dressed officer holding Dolan's arm which was thrusted towards her.

"Ma'am, this boy was found vandalizing property a few blocks over. Since this is his first offense, we're going to let him off with a warning, but please don't me find him again." And with that, he was gone, back into his car driving away.

Dolan tried to turn out of Maria's grip and start walking back to his assigned bed, but she did not let him go that easily. She dragged him to her office and locked the door behind her, sighing before sitting in her seat.

The office was mostly dark as the only light illuminating the room was coming from the full moon outside. Dolan was looking at everything but her. Despite his cold appearance, he cared about how Maria thought of him. She was the only person in his life to stick by him through every setback and mistake he had made.

"What were you thinking?" Silence. His jaw tightened as he stared out the window. "I'm talking to you, Dolan. I deserve a response after everything I've done for you."

"There's...," He hesitated, sighing with agitation.

"What? What would compel you to do something illegal Dolan? Please help me understand!" Maria said, exasperated and impatient.

His breathing quickened as he stood up, staring directly at her. "There's nothing left for me here! I don't belong here!" He gestured not just at the house but at everything surrounding him. "I've never belonged here, Maria. You and I both know that. I'm a hopeless case."

"That doesn't answer my question," She calmly stated, avoiding eye contact. "Sit your ass down and tell me why you decided to break the law."

He slowly did as he was told, attempting to calm himself down from his outburst at the same time. "I wanted a bigger canvas."

Silence.

"Where did you get the money to buy the spray paint?" Dolan immediately started to squirm in his chair.

"I-i um..."

"I'm sick of this bullshit Dolan. You've always been honest with me. What's changed? Just answer my question, however bad it may be. It's one in the morning and I'm tired," She sighed, leaning back in her chair wishing it was her bed.

"I've been selling drugs." This woke her up. "Not just selling...using too."

"Wha-i uh. Now you have me speechless. I-uh I could ask you all of my burning questions, but then I'd have more reason to report you to the authorities." His eyes widened immediately with fear.

"No no no no please don't do that."

"I'm-."

"Please, I promise I'll stop," He interrupted.

"Hey-."

"No please you don't understand. I can't defend myself. I lose every fight. I can't-."

"Stop it," She said, as she raised her voice and interrupting him this time. "I'm not going to tell anyone anything as long as you tell me what your plan of action is to make a change in your life."

"Thank you," He said quietly.

"I have given you a lot of second chances in life, but this time is different. You've really fucked up this time. I need you to understand that you don't get any more chances after this."

"I understand."

"Good." Maria's head was reeling from this overwhelming interaction. "So what's the plan?"

He thought for a few minutes very quietly. Dolan was rubbing his feet up and down the carpet changing the direction and shadowing on the short, soft, fake hairs covering the ground.

"I want to meet my birth mom." This surprised Maria. She had never heard him express any interest in meeting her before.

"What do you think that will change?" She curiously asked.

"I know that this might be a long shot, but maybe she can help me find my purpose. I don't care if we don't love each other the second we see each other or if she doesn't want to adopt me. I just want to know why I'm here in this home with these people. Maybe that will motivate me to change," He said with almost a hopeful tone in his voice.

"And if it doesn't?" Maria always had to play devil's advocate.

"Then we'll take it from there," He sighed, still looking at his feet.

"Ok. I'll set it up for next week."

"Ok," He said, standing up and walking out of the room without looking back.