The Assassin ✓

Chapter Eleven

Hello guys and welcome to Update day! As usual, click on the song. I think on this chapter it is particularly wonderful and heartbreaking (as is the chapter). Have fun reading!

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Straight after Vanessa pulled the trigger, she screamed. The gun fell out of her hands as she locked eyes with her confused and sleepy son, who then lowered his gaze to look at the red spot on his t-shirt. It kept growing.

            Vanessa managed to catch him before his legs gave out. She caught him and fell on her knees with him in her hands. Her numbness was immediately replaced by tonns of inner pain. All of the weariness was gone; she felt sharp, alert and stupid.

            "Tom," she cried, wetting his shirt with her tears. "Tom, please. I'm so sorry. Fuck, fuck, fuck," she muttered. "Breathe, baby. Breathe slowly. Shit. Please, look at me," she cradled his head in her lap.

            He blinked and looked at her, but said nothing.

            Vanessa picked him up and carried him out of the house, barely holding herself upright and smearing his shirt with her tears.  She laid him down in the car; in the same place where Blair slept just a few hours earlier, and rushed out of the driveway. She reached her office in four minutes. It was probably a record. As she was closing in, she dialed Harry.

            "Harry, it's Vanessa," she spoke, caught up in her own breath. "Tom is shot. We'll be right there."

            She did not wait for him to answer as she ended the phone call. She did not even wait for the massive gates to open, when she arrived. She stopped the car, lifted Tom out and walked inside as soon as the gates were wide enough for them to slip through. Someone was already at the door as soon as she reached it.

            "We'll put him in rehab," a man said.

            "Don't worry," said someone else. She looked up and recognised Harry. "It will be alright," he squeezed her hand.

            "Come," Adam tried directing her somewhere, while someone lifted Tom out of her hands and carried him away.

            "Wait," Vanessa gasped, without fully following what was happening, her hands shaking. "I'll go with," she whispered.

            "V, you have to calm down," Harry muttered, his hand on her shoulder.

            "I do not have to calm down!!" She suddenly shouted and the man next to her jumped. "I shot my own son," she was practically growling now. "So if you think I will 'sit and calm down' while he is dying, you are very wrong," she yanked her arm out of Harry's friendly touch and no one dared stop her as she ran after her son.

            She stood at the end of his bed, with no emotions on her face, only dried tears on her cheeks, and watched them pull out the bullet of Tom's body. She was lucky. She was immencely lucky. She missed all the vital organs. She was sleepy enough to shoot her own son, but she was also sleepy enough to miss. He lived. He will live. But it did not calm her. She stood there and watched them cut up her son. Not once did she wince. Not once did she look away. She deserved this. She did this to him and she should be punished.

            The emotions, though not reflecting on her face, were boiling inside of her. There were no words to describe them, though at the same time all of the words could describe them.

            She felt empty. She felt empty, but also full of everything and it felt like she could throw up. Mostly there was Guilt. Then there was Pain. Worry. Desperation. The Desperation level in her was just as high as Pain, but Worry was higher. There was Anger, but she was angry at herself. She had no idea how that happened. It was not supposed to happen.