Self to Note

If I Could

If I could be like everyone else, would I still be myself? I walk the hallways everyday just wishing I had someone else's life. I wish. I had a father, or a supportive family, or the right body. The right life seems to be too good for me. If I was raised correctly in a good home, I would probably be one of the most pompous children in the world. I would make all of my problems everyone else's problems. Narcissistic, that's what I'd be.
Is that better than this life? No! Of course not. Not one life is better than the other. All lives are horrible. Every possible existence will bring us down. No one is happy forever. If we just try searching for a way to be happy, we'll just drag others down with us.
However, if we take ourselves out of this life on our own, we are the ones to blame somehow. Even if we meant well —we didn't want to burden others with our problems— we would be the weak ones. It would especially be thought by the ones who may have caused some of our problems, which would have also caused us to the taboo escape route. They don't know what they're doing when they hurt us, so don't blame them. Any child will somehow have problems with their parents or family, it might even stay tense through adulthood. The way one raises their child does intact determine what happens later on in life for that child.
Any one could tell you what's wrong and what's right, but it's your moral compass you need to live by. If someone told you it was okay to kill if someone made you angry, would you? Or is it against your morals? In the same way, when someone who hates a group of people who are different than them, it doesn't mean you can follow in their footsteps. Hell, you can be one of those people if it so suits you. The only one in charge of my life is me, and the only dictator in your life is you.
The goal of everyone else is to control you. That's what they are doing. There are some who you just should go to for help, because they will do the opposite. I assure you, this is true for most humans. Since we've bested the challenge of being alive, we feel we must also best each other. Don't let them best you, but don't get your hands dirty trying. That's how wars have started.
Yes, I am blindly ranting to you. No, you do not have to heed my words or take them to heart. Do whatever you please. Don't try to be like others, we all have bad sides.